Distant with mom - how should I handle this?

Question

(accidentally had this in the wrong section last time)

I'm 30. My mom has had brittle diabetes since I was one. She did not do the things she should have to help herself (exercise, eat right ...). Since I was around 5 I did all the laundry, made dinner (mac and cheese) for the family, and cleaned the house. My childhood was taken with this. Still, she did not help herself. She is very religious and always lectured me. She did not do things with me, did not even attend my bridal shower. Since I was a child, she was always "too sick" to do anything. Now she is 100 pounds overweight, blind, and has literally been sitting in front of the tv for 3 decades. She does not lift a finger. I have no respect for her. My father now has to do everything and it is so much for him. I still harbor anger toward her. How should I handle my relationship with her?

* I've been reading the answers as they have been submitted and want to thank you all so much for your heart-felt and wise responses. *

Answer 1

This story sounds rather familiar, because this is how my granddaughter's OTHER grandmother behaves... everyone is supposed to wait on her, and she doesn't do much of anything for herself.

Maybe you can just try to accept the fact that your mother is the way she is, and you can't fix it for her. If this has affected your life in ways that interfere with your daily responsibilities and routines, you could consider talking to a therapist for a while.

You will make the best decision for you.. i know it.

Answer 2

as hard as it is you should forgive her!
i would't be her best friend or help out she has proven she will not use it anyway!
but you should forgive her to yourself to get that weight off your shoulders!

I have mom issues too right now and my advice it to worry about YOUR family husband self and any pets or kids!! and do what you can to pasivier her..