Okay i love my mom don't get me wrong and maybe about 20 % of the time she can be okay to be around!
but i'm stuck in this jam! I want to spend time with her but she has no respect for my words! I will sit there and listen to all her rants and camlaints even follow up with positive questions to show her the good side of life! she will cut me off most the time to get what she wants to say
I have had the talk to her in a nice way. nothing seemed to comefrom it! I love her but i feel my only last option is to just ignore her but i want her in my life I only have 1 mom!
i have sent her articles on how to be postivie i just don't think she cares!
then to cut me off over half the time i say anything! just to say what she want's to hear! from previous post i let her talk about her self with the 3 months we have worked to gether she asked how my day was maybe 2 times yet i ask her everyday I show intrest in her life she don't! in mine! i'm out of options and characters what can i do
2007-09-28 08:39:57 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i'm in my 20's
she is in her 50's
2007-09-28 08:40:19 · update #1
i don't feel like i have the strength to keep this up any more! --- trying to stay postive around her
she leaves this nasty neggo feeling with me when i leave her.. she drains me i don't have friends like this but i have a mother like this
2007-09-28 08:41:41 · update #2
she went throught that already!
2007-09-28 08:48:07 · update #3
nagging - she is a winner she find this stuff and brings up from no where!
what could she nag about well the fact that i'm not right there for her anymore.. i'm not a good parent what can i say she is my mom!
the fact that i don't take her help every time - the fact that i don't eat her food she cooks me because she didn't remember(wasn't listening ) i said i was going to bring lunch this time.. then she will be upset because i ate the lunch i wanted to! and this is just the little winey stuff not the hard care stuff like money and crap like that!
she needs someone in her life would it be wrong for me to set her up!
lol
she dont have esteem or enought desire to do squat for herself with friendships she expest them to just happen while she is in her house with the doors lock!
2007-09-28 09:21:16 · update #4
She's being negative, so you try to point out a positive.
Since you're taking an oppositional stance, that's why she cuts you off.
It may be that there's nothing you can do, but you might try something.
Try agreeing with her that whatever is bad, and showing her you're with her, before pointing out the other side, or otherwise trying to inject positivity.
That way, she might at least hear you out.
However, there may not be anything you can do; you can't change other people.
It sounds like she's someone you need to take only in small doses once in a while.
And if you find she's brought you down, simply recognize WHY you're down (not you or your life, but from the contact with such a negative person), and do something to cheer yourself up again -- call someone who cheers you up; put on music you love; watch a comedy; whatever.
Some people are just self-absorbed; you probably can't change that.
2007-09-28 13:01:03 · answer #1 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you don't have friends like this is because in life we can pick our friends but not our family.
I would like to let you know my in laws are very negative people. My husband is 41 as has yet to hear a word of encouragement or a compliment from either of them. They are only full of insults, comments, speeches, guilt trips or pity parties. Since this is your mom you need to realize she can not help it. sounds like she is narcissistic. The more you understand and reserch the reasons why she does this the more patience you might have as well as a better way to deal with her. The only reason I would even suggest that you do this is because she is your mother.
Speak to a theropist on the best way to handle her and how to keep a civil relationship with her.
2007-09-28 08:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your mom sounds stressed...what else is going on in the family that is getting ignored? Has there been nothing but problems going on lately?
Usually moms don't talk just to nag...what's nagging at her?
2007-09-28 09:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to sort her self out get some counseilling alsotell her to buy and listen to a cd called the secret that will help her.
2007-09-29 02:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your mom is like this, don't expect her to change now...
sometimes we have to accept others at face value, even the "self-absorbed".
take care of YOU and do what you think is best in your life.. treat others as you'd like to be treated, even when others are too dumb to be compassionate.
hugs
2007-09-28 08:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋