sooo..................?

Question

i took my 2 1/2 year old daughter to go see her bio father/ my ex today.
everything went okay he was really happy to see her and im pretty sure it was genuine happiness, after all he hasnt seen her at all in almost 2 1/2 years.
im just not sure if im ready to trust him with her alone yet. Its not like hes abusive or a drug addict or anything its just i dont know if hes seeing anyone or what they are like etc.
what would you guys do in my position?

Answer 1

i think you did the rght thing
& just take her with you to see him you don't have to leave her alone with him or anyone else

Answer 2

I'm not sure what the big deal is. How would you feel if your ex had your daughter and was uncomfortable letting you see your own daughter because he didn't know if you were seeing anyone?

I think you need to ease up on the situation and allow your daughter to spend time with her father. If he's not abusive or neglectful, there aren't many other reason to keep him from seeing her. From my point of view, it appears that you are creating reasons why he can't see her that are not valid. These excuses about feeling uneasy wouldn't hold up in court if he fought for visitation and custody rights.

Answer 3

I would try to ease up just a little. Even if he is seeing someone how bad could it be? He went out with you so he's obviously got great taste. You never know, even though he wasn't husband material for you, he might be a great dad for your daughter.

I know it's hard, I was a single mom myself and my ex was/is a twit. But my second husband is a great guy and a great dad and he's got kids from his first marriage (so some people have ex's who aren't total jerks....you may be one).

My point is that maybe you should give him a chance. Everything might turn out better than expected.

Answer 4

I don't quite get the problem here.

He wants to be in her life. You have no reason to think he'll be bad to her.

It also isn't clear what you're talking about with trusing him with her alone yet -- are you talking about an extended stay?

I'm not sure that's wise until they get to know each other, anyway.

Why has this issue come up, exactly? What is he wanting that you aren't willing to agree to?

If it's a question of not knowing who else she would be exposed to, why not ask him?

If he is, say, living with someone, it would be reasonable of you to ask to meet that person, so you know who (besides him) would have charge of her.

But, as I say, mostly what you wrote is unclear.

Answer 5

You are combining your daughter's relationship with her father's personal business. That is not a good idea given the fact that you have ended your marital relationship or affair. I would mind my own business if it were me..you noted he doesn't do drugs or anything and is not abusive.

Answer 6

she your daughter is not use to him and she's only 2 & 1/2 so I would stay with him while he visits with her. That is until you are totally sure to leave them alone. this is your right to do this. You have legal custody of her.

Answer 7

let him have a personal relationship with her... she is not a piece of property she is a human being with real feelings and emotions... child with absent parents do tend to struggle with issues revolving family and relationships... do your part.. encourage the relationship. While they are visiting take a bath, read a book, have dinner with your girlfriends or a date... you are still you as well as mommy... good luck!!

Answer 8

the child needs time to get to know the father, before being left with him.... she needs to feel comfortable with him first.. otherwise, leaving her might be traumatizing.

give it time and i'm sure they will get on ok.