Okay so recently my husband has just been furious with and picking fights with me for no real reason at all. Here's why. We have a 31/2 year old (my Stepson), whom I am very close to. I do everything for this boy. I cook for him, clean up after him, play with him, bathe him, dress him, and make sure he always has everything he needs. I treat him and care for him like I would my own child. And as a result we have become really close. Baby prefers me over Mommy and Daddy 98% of the time. He has become extremely attached to me to. He always wants me to carry him or hold him and he doesn't want to go anywhere without me, he always has to be with me wherever I go. And most recently he’s even been crying for me when he goes to him moms house, which just infuriates her to no end and she calls daddy and yells at him. "why are they so close" Why does he like her so much" The baby likes me so much b/c he knows I take care of him.
2007-09-28 08:25:30 · 11 answers · asked by Savannah J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Anyway daddy started making comments like "he likes you more than me" and he trys to make me feel bad for the crap he has to take from Mommy b/c Baby and I are so close. And he will also say things like "you better never leave us, you can't put him (the baby) through that".
First of all I've never, ever showed any signs of wanting to leave and don't have any intentions of ever doing so, that’s why I married him because I want to be with him and baby forever. But that doesn't mean, that he can go out and do whatever he wants or cheat on me (or something that would be grounds for divorce) and I would just put up with it because of the baby and I think with comments like that, that’s what he’s thinking in the back of his mind. He'll also say "baby and I rely on you too much, it can't be like this" Well he’s right he does rely on me 100% for everything and I've always let him, as a result he's become to comfortable with it.
2007-09-28 08:26:14 · update #1
Well, after about 2 months of comments like that… I backed off a little. I started a full time job again and I let baby become a little more reliant on daddy Now I'm being accused of being distant and he’s says I don't want to be around them and he even asked me if I met someone at work (which offended me very badly) All I am doing is letting up a little so he and baby can get close (he had been complaining about he didn't feel as close to him as he use to) And I'm taking time for myself and not revolving my entire existence around them. I don't want our relationships to change, but is this inevitable If I don't revolve my world around them 24/7. Am I being selfish?
2007-09-28 08:26:34 · update #2
By the way: nothing has changed that much I just got a full time job and I take a one hour long pilates class, once a week. Other than that, everything is still the same. I still do all the cooking and cleaning and I still spend all my free time with them. We don't do anything apart, we even do all the grocery shopping, errands, etc. together. Why do I feel like I’m doing something wrong?
2007-09-28 08:26:49 · update #3
I mean Daddy has become to Dependent on me, not baby, of course baby is going to be, he’s only 31/2.
2007-09-28 08:28:35 · update #4
First of all one of the reasons why I got a full time job was because we wanted to move into a new house and needed me to work full time to afford it. So that was a decision we both made. And I did talk to him I said “what is it, exactly, that you want from me” and he said #1 be more affectionate, like I use to be – I love being affectionate to my husband, but when he makes me feel like I’m always doing something wrong, it pushes me away little bit. #2 Don’t be distant – I’m not distant, I just work full time now, I can’t call him 5 times a day. #3 Believe that he loves truly loves me – I do believe he loves me, sometimes I feel taken for granted #4 Communicate with him when something’s bothering me- I do communicate, but sometimes I’ve always been the type to hold things in, I figure why problem him with my problems. Now when I got this response I was a little confused, b/c none of this pertains to the way he’s been treating me and why?
2007-09-28 09:19:05 · update #5
He’s either not telling me the truth about what he really wants or we are miss communicating.
2007-09-28 09:19:27 · update #6
psychological abuse that is what this man is doing to you
he is insecure with himself
be careful girl try counseling
the baby loves the way you love him they can sense the good in people you probably treat him better then they do so he wants you all the time you have done nothing wrong here maybe they the dad and mom need to take a parenting class
they should be thankful you are not a crazy lady how don't even want a baby around
2007-09-28 08:33:43 · answer #1 · answered by summerbliss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but your husband sounds like a real piece of work. He is jealous of his own kid? If he is so worried about the relationship he has with YOU and with HIS child, he might start taking some fatherly responsibility for the child along with you. I'm sure you don't look like a nanny.. it's HIS child... and i do understand you love the child; however, what is his father doing while you are cooking, bathing, and playing with the child? Let me guess, he has a remote control stuck in his hand and he sits in his recliner doing nothing.
Apparently, YOU are the child's nurturer and have done very loving and special things for him. It's too bad his parents can't be the same....
Your husband definitely needs some help... he's not right... maybe marriage counseling would help with this? I'm not sure... short of that, i haven't a clue.
I think it's great you are taking time out for yourself, and have gone back to work if that is what you like... taking care of YOU is very important... please don't neglect your own needs.
I hope you get some good answers here. You're certainly more patient than i'd ever be!
hugs
2007-09-28 08:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you stated while the son comes all he talks approximately is what the dad and his mother and he did after they had been in combination? The child was once two while you received in combination, so what would he keep in mind? What variety of quality instances would they've had? I did not see wherein you stated what intercourse the eight month ancient baby is. Yes it concerns. This dad is attempting to elevate a son facet time. That isn't handy. My husband misplaced his father at age 17 and was once reluctant to subject his youngsters. He had a worry they might have unhealthy recollections of him. What variety of luggage is your husband wearing round. It might aid if you realize what it's, although he cannot get it resolved. Parenting magnificence or marriage counseling might aid if you'll get him to head. It may be very principal to his son greater than any person for him to get aid earlier than the son learns to control the obstacle additional. If the baby does no longer exhibit recognize to you it's viable the daddy was once appearing this manner closer to his mom as good. Maybe he sees this as having a girl dependable of him. Your husband will have mom problems. Hope you uncover out. Good good fortune to you.
2016-09-05 10:39:14 · answer #3 · answered by guenin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because is something wrong , I think you are a wonderful women and all you need is been appreciate for what you doing , and he is not doing it , he is insecured about you , and he has no reason to be but he is , you two should get some marriage counseling . There is nothing wrong with you is him that has problems . He is verbally abusing you . Look for help before this situation get worse.If you love him.
2007-09-28 08:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by Gigi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first all of first comment is just gay dont listen to her. lets see only thing come my mind its ask for hubby to sit down with you and talk this out. Tell him about how he said that your to attach to baby. Then tell him that the reason you got a full time job is because you want baby and hubby get closer. tell everything LET EVERYTHING OUT!
2007-09-28 08:38:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband should be happy you and his son are so close. you both need to take some time off together to figure things out. it seems that if this is not taken care of, it may let to future problems. try counselling
2007-09-28 08:57:38 · answer #6 · answered by http://nightblogz.blogspot.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him want it is that he wants, " I was there all day cooking cleaning taken care of the baby, and dong everything you needed" that is wrong, "now I work, cook, clean, and dont spend all my time for you " and now that is wrong what is it that you want ? Wait for his answer, now is that what YOU want? then answer yourself and him... You know men dont know what they really want, but women seem to, Good luck. let me know what his answer is...Okay
2007-09-28 08:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time. Men hate change. When they get use to things the are fine. I have one something like yours. He hates when anything changes in his world.
2007-09-28 08:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see why your husband has and ex wife.
2007-09-28 08:34:46 · answer #9 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG you talk too much. There is your problem right there. Short and sweet babe,
2007-09-28 08:28:25 · answer #10 · answered by csiders30 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋