ok.... im single mom with a 1year old would it be wise to tell a guy on the first date that i have a daughter or should i hide it and tell him a couple dates after??? not that i want to hide it cuz i love my little girl but i find that many guys dont want to deal with the aggravation of a daughter thats not theirs. what should i do????
2007-09-28 08:01:13 · 29 answers · asked by singlemama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Best to be honest up-front.
2007-09-28 08:03:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married (yes to the same woman) for almost 20 years so I cannot speculate as to whether this scares off young men you are interested in or not.
I can tell you this with absolute certainty - If a man you are interested in is not comfortable with the idea of you having a child (who comes #1 in your life) then he is in no way ANY sort of man that you should waste your time or emotions on - much less have a serious relationship or marriage with. Your daughter and you both deserve more and you must put her well-being (and need for a father-figure in whoever you choose to be with) above any considerations of the "guy." I can also tell you that if I were you, I would really keep both eyes WIDE OPEN on whoever you let into your life because these days there are so many perverts and pedophiles out there that you really have to be very cautious about who is allowed around your child. You do have a girl and she will get older/more mature (not that some pedophiles care how old a child is) so please, be cautious about who is allowed to enter her life. Just a word of advice from a Dad of two daughters here.
2007-09-28 08:13:17 · answer #2 · answered by ycartf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not telling him would be just (possibly) wasting each others time or putting off the inevitable. Telling him, well you'll know right away and you will have confronted the situation, it is not like you have anything to hide? Putting this in the open is just more of a plus for you. It will also help read the other guy. As a guy I would want to know right away, I am th kind of person that enjoys family and it may make the second or third date easier, because I enjoy "family nights" and kids are only kids for a short time. Either way, just enjoy and see what comes to you.
2007-09-28 08:09:35 · answer #3 · answered by yourguessisasgoodasyours 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldnt you want to know the type of guy youre dating doesnt want to deal with a little child? You wouldnt be doing anyone any favors by hiding her. What if the guy fell for you but was the type who didnt want a little kid in the way but by the time he finds out he sticks with you but is annoyed about the child? The one who would get hurt is your little baby. They know when they arent loved or liked. You need to be honest for your childs sake so you dont end up with some self centered man who may want you but not your child. Your first duty is to protect her.
2007-09-28 08:06:23 · answer #4 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the subject comes up, tell him. If he is the one for you and your daughter, everything will come together. I lost my husband in 2003. I am 51 yrs. old and have two special needs children. I have a few extra pounds but most of all, I know I still got it goin' on lol When you date be yourself and show your personality. I found my man which he knew I was a package deal. He liked how I parented my children and also made time for him. To top it off, he is younger! We never argue when we disagree and we are soooo happy! Just be yourself!
2007-09-28 08:12:23 · answer #5 · answered by curlies55 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is the foundation of a relationship. so not to tell on the first date would not be right. The journey will be hard to find someone who is willing to take your challenge. Remember a guy that is a good enough to realize that he will have 2 people loving him not just one. 2 for the price of one wow sounds like a deal. keep your chin up and saty truthful.
2007-09-28 08:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by shoolz G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in the same situation as you are. And it is very confusing. Its hard to gauge when to tell them. On one hand, I feel like you should tell them right away so you dont waste time, but then again, it could possibly wait until the 2nd date. If you get a good feel for the guy on the 1st date, then be honest. But if your still testing the waters and he asks for a 2nd, make sure you tell him then. Hope this helps!
2007-09-28 08:06:17 · answer #7 · answered by MayMay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all guys are intimidated of knowing that someone they might be dating has a kid or kids. They are afraid of a commitment. This is a typical guy. I believe that the right guy for you will accept the fact that you have a daughter and she is not his, but he'll get over it. I think you shouldnt hide anything from any guy. If they are really into you they'll except the fact that you have a kid!
2007-09-28 08:04:57 · answer #8 · answered by bellafanciulla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be proud of your daughter, if the guy is scared by it then he's not the guy for you. There are guys out there who love kids, thats who you should be looking for... you should never hide your children, that could only cause problems when you come clean.
2007-09-28 08:08:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to know about it before you even date. You have to be as upfront with these things as soon as possible. DO NOT hide it. If it turns out he wants to date a woman who doesn't have kids, she wasn't honest about having one, he's going to be peeved. It's really hard to find a guy who's into women with kids as it is...don't make it harder on yourself by lying.
I have a little boy and had to go through this. All my dates knew upfront that I had a kid and that I was divorced. You will find someone as I did. Don't start off a date or relationship on shaky ground, such as withholding important information. Good luck!
2007-09-28 08:04:53 · answer #10 · answered by CC 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
haha, you're possibly not intimidating. maximum adult men won't combat a woman no count how undesirable the argument is, for an identical motives they won't combat with a toddler, it is not honest and could lead on them to a pariah in the event that they ever did. And it is not honest so you might place that on the table. incredibly it is totally immature. in case you are able to not talk approximately your issues like an grownup you possibly shouldn't *be* relationship to start. @reaction: once you're a small woman each and every of the extra reason to not act like that. IF some jackass regrettably DOES attempt to combat you you will get your *** stomped and it would be YOUR FAULT. think of lady!
2016-10-20 05:49:34 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋