how can you be sure of yourself and confident and not feel intimidated outside, when you've had a long term

Question

anxiety problems and you jump, and have panic attacks at the slightest things?
i can't even make eye contact, im constantly nervous and anxious and are skitterish to whilst out.
it makes me feel a fool and inferior, like a weak intimidated 30 year old.
if anyone looks at me especially other males, i panic, feel uncomfortable and cant make eye contact.
this in turn leads to frustration, then anger, then aggression.
then, in the past, this has lead to outbursts of rage, because i couldnr hold my own and be confident..and feel in control.
i wish i could feel fearless, confident and in control, but this anxiety problem makes me feel at the mercy of others..afraid.

and it makes me frustrated and angry because im feeling other people make me feel this way when outside.
i try to be confident, make eye contact when out, but i can never do it.
i have a history of being bullied, attacked and victimised in the past, growing up in adolecance.
has anyone got any advice on what i can do?

Answer 1

You feel as you do, anxious, inferior and intimidated, because in your own mind you have assented to the stereotypes promulgated by society of what constitutes a real man. You are letting others opinions of what is good for you dominate your perception of yourself These stereo typed attributes put forth by society and your "peers" are not necessarily true for you or many others. Instead of idealizing and trying to be like these stereotypes what you have to do is discover, assent to and be proud of who you really are.

Not every one feels a need to be strong, control and dominate others or situations; make out with whatever girl you choose, excel in all pursuits etc. Indeed there are whole philosophies and religions which prescribe just the opposite as ideals for a person. This change in perception of yourself may be hard to do and may require a psychotherapist or psychiatrist to help you find the real you and be accepting of him. Be selective, too in whom you select as a therapist as many of them succumb to the status quo about what a normal male really is like.

The fact that you recognize what you don't like in yourself is the first step in defining yourself anew.If and when you find and accept the real you you will then be fearless, confident and in control of yourself.

Good luck in discovering yourself, good mental health, peace and love!

Answer 2

My friend, I have finally come back from a long week or so in the BPD zone, and though I realize that it is going to draw me in again, let me tell you about some things that I am finally working through. I hope that it helps you in some way. I have 10 years on you and I haven't given up on my life... so you can't give up on yours. That's the new rule of traumatic survival!!! Lol:

1. The more you get out in the public eye, the easier it will be.
2. Sensory deprivation and isolation cause anxiety, jumpiness, insecurity and makes it very uncomfortable to deal with anything unexpected.
3. No one really knows what you are thinking about until you tell them...they may have an idea of it and they may make assumptions but they aren't always right. So you might as well at least give them a hint even if you are embarrassed about it later.
4. We are in the final millennium of humanity on Earth and the future of our race may come to depend on the kind of communication that is locked in the neural passages of the brain. People who spend a lot of time inside of their own minds have more access than others to this power, but they must not doubt what they perceive intuitively. This may also be the key to our evolution as opposed to the extinction of all mankind.

Wow I had no intention of getting so carried away with this, but it is what I needed to say.

Peace Love Deep thoughts

Answer 3

Please visit your health practitioner and explain this situation to them. Having been traumatized in the past, you probably have depression and for that you will benefit from a course of anti-depressants combined perhaps with other medication for anxiety from your doctor.
You should also see a psychologist for a while which will be even more effective.
It will really help you.
In the meantime remember this - you are just as worthy as the next person - so walk tall and straight and look everyone right in the eye. They can't see inside you so you can pretend to be confident and very soon, you will be!