I've been seeing him for almost 2 years now. We used to get along so well. But now everything is my fault from him failing his exams, to having financial troubles. He never texts or calls me during the whole day. When i do text or call, he says im irritating him. He thinks i sit at home jobless everyday, and call him to while away my time. But i do have classes, and truck loads of work (same as him) We meet only during the weekends. This too he considers an utter waste of his time. A lunch, movie or bowling are worthless he says. Then what the hell are we suppossed to do when we go out? He never says a kind word or compliments me, while am floored by his every move and say so too. And, i do happen to be much better at academics than him, which he is jealous of, and says hurtful words to put me down. Now that we are at the end of our college life, and he hasnt done well with his masters exam (GRE) and stuff, blames me for all his misfortunes. What do i do?? Am i to take all this crap?
2007-09-28 05:55:49 · 33 answers · asked by Meow 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, do you know what a narcissist is?? You need to run away from him, and I know you love him, but you need to love yourself first. Anyone who thinks spending time with you is a waste of time isn't worth an ounce of your energy. Look, he puts you down and insults you because that's how he feels about himself. He obviously is taking out his frustration out on you and that is NOT healthy. Nothing you do is ever going to fix him, and it's not a behavior that has "just happened". He's always been that way, it's just that you are now seeing his true colors because he's comfortable showing that side of himself to you. It sounds like you're in your early 20's? I spent my 20's with someone like your boyfriend and I wish I would have walked away from him sooner. Life is short, it's about learning, and you have to love yourself first and foremost. Have the courage to stand up for yourself and tell him that he can't treat you or talk to you that way. Relationships require a lot of respect sweetie...he has none for you. Find a nice guy who won't be able to wait to hear or see you over the weekend. They are out there. Don't worry about your boyfriend either...he's got a lot of lessons to learn on his own, and you're not the one who's suppose to help him. YOU are the important one here, and the situation isn't going to get better if you stick around. Just know this...his treatment towards you is NOT normal. Don't ever allow anyone to treat you that way. Ever...
2007-09-28 06:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by L.A. Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound like a healthy situation ... he's feeling bitter and depressed - probably because he's feeling like a bit of a failure & is lashing out everything around him.
No matter how much you love this person - the fact that he's turning himself into an emotional / spiritual anchor and pulling you down with him into the abyss isn't good for you.
Cut him loose and let him hit rock bottom. It's the only thing which is going to wake him up & maybe get him off his duff long enough to DO something about his situation instead of moping around & blaming everyone else for HIS failings.
2007-09-28 06:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoa..you should really get out of this relationship! how could you love a person that hurts you that much? you deserve way better than this. there are probably a lot of guys out there that would treat so much better than him and you would be more happier. you should dump immediately and it'll be hard but if you give in and get back with him just remind yourself that your gonna go with the same crap! and dont think you can change him either and if you could it would take FOREVER. so move on! go have fun! go clubbing! meet a new guy! start by dumping him then deleting his number so you won't be pressured to call/text him. try to avoid as much as possible! good luck! BREAK UP WITH HIM!!
2007-09-28 06:03:43 · answer #3 · answered by Belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know what to do, you just are too afraid to do it.
You need to leave pronto. tell him you can do bad all by yourself. And if you are that much of a burden then you will release all that burden now.
I can tell you love him but this is not healthy for you. Keep recognizing how smart you are and find someone who can tell you how smart you are. Every woman deserves better than a man who cant keep their emotions under control and blames their mistakes on others. believe it or not that is a form of domestic violence. Get friends have a girls night out and dring your troubles away. But you need to break it off. no crawling back and no accepting apologies. You have seen the worst off him and you know you cant take it, so why see if it can get any worse.!
2007-09-28 06:02:45 · answer #4 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were to read this about someone else what would you say? Get out of the relationship, it has gone stale, and he is destroying you. You are comfortable with the way things are but obviously you are wise enough to see that he is a problem and will only get worse blaming you for everything. Sounds like he moved on a long time ago and it's about time you did the same.
2007-09-28 06:00:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understandably he may be under a lot of stress but that does not make it okay for him to put you down, hurt your feelings and be disrespectful in any way what so ever. What you should do is break things off with this guy. I know easier said then done right. Well, stop making excuses for him and if he think spending time with you is a waste of his time and not worth it. He is no where near worth your time. Find someone who wants to be with you and will encourage you to live up to your full potential and want you to do your best. Don't take his crap anymore and stand up for yourself and find yourself a good man. Good luck
2007-09-28 06:04:49 · answer #6 · answered by Babe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah get rid of him. I dated a guy like this for 4 years. He was very controlling and blamed his misfortunes on me. It got so bad that he was controlling what I wore, who I hung out with, and what I did...sadly, I think part of it was my fault for letting him control me. But anywho, you need to get rid of this guy. It will be hard at first but you need to move on and find someone who will treat you right. If he can't even have fun when you guys are together, then what is the point of being with him? You should dump him and then stop all communication because that will help you move on the quickest. Anyways goodluck and stay strong
2007-09-28 06:05:19 · answer #7 · answered by amf42d5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hurts you everday, what is it that you love about him? You need to evaluate exactly why your in this relationship. Is it that your comfortable and think it's still love? Because no offense, but, it doesn't sound like he feels the same way you say you do. And no offense, although you say your at the end of your college career, doesn't seem like you'd be that old. You seem to be focusing on high school drama with the boys. Most adult women wouldn't take that sort of treatment.
2007-09-28 06:00:57 · answer #8 · answered by 81 Honda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOOSE this creep. Sounds to me like you deserve much much better. Just don't text him for a while and don't let him play stupid mind games with you. If he's blaming you for his own personal problems, then it's a sign of HUGE insecurities on his part. Don't be the person he can take it out on. You're being there for him and he's taking advantage of that to make himself feel better by making you feel lousy.
Hang out with your friends, don't call and if he notices that, he will tell you. You change the rules a bit and see how he feels. If he changes, then good. If he doesn't, then it's time for you to move on to bigger and better things.
2007-09-28 06:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by Sicilianguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must be a glutton for personal punishment. if this person keeps hurting you in any form it would seem wise to revisit your thought process. either you need or like punishment or you are a weak person unable to decide when enough is enough. let me direct you. walk away. this immature male of the species can go and find another victim to harass and to be sure there are many out there these days. i hope i have been of some help.
2007-09-28 06:06:58 · answer #10 · answered by 1oldone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋