five years, and no proposal. we talk about getting married a lot. he talks about it a lot. i don't nag him about it b/c i think that would just become annoying and push him away. is five years a pretty long time to be together and not get engaged?
2007-09-28 05:48:06 · 26 answers · asked by Ella 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Oh, honey thats ages. Personally I think by now he should know whether he wants to marry you or not and make the decision. On the plus side at least he talks about it so he must have it in his mind somewhere. Maybe he is having difficulty saving money to get you the ring. Talk to him about what you want in your future together and set goals (one of them being to get married) then you can both work towards it together and it shouldn't feel like nagging.
2007-09-28 05:58:09 · answer #1 · answered by Stiffler 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly how you feel, I was with my now husband for almost 6 years before he proposed and then we got married 4 months after the proposal. Now we are expecting a baby. Things will work out for you and he will ask you some day when you least expect it. At least he talks to you about it and isn't afraid to talk about getting married. My man would tell me he would be ready to get married when he was ready to start a family and sure enough this year has been the year for us.
You're time will come and as long as you love each other and have a great relationship everything else will fall into place.
2007-09-28 13:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by Butterfly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends.. My husband proposed after 1 month, but I know people who have been together forever before getting married. Friends of ours have been together for more than 10 years until they finally got married because a little one was on the way. Do you really need a ring on your finger or a piece of paper? If you are in a great relationship and everything else is perfect, why destroying it?? Since he's talking about marriage he probably just needs some time to find the perfect moment or he wants to buy you the perfect ring and hasn't found it yet..
I don't think that he's scared of commitment, just give him a little bit more time.. When he continues talking about marriage without proposing you could ask him in a joking way "why do you think I'll marry you?? You haven't even asked me yet".. Probably that's the hint he needs, but wait for him to bring the topic up, and make sure it sounds like a joke, not serious.. He will probably be on his knees before you know it..
2007-09-28 13:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand where your coming from just ask him what is the hold up!
if your in your younger 20's then that could be why if you havent't finished school or got a career lined up that could be another reason'
he could have commientent issues
or maybe he can't afford a ring
maybe he loves you so much he want's you to have the best so he is in this deleemia to find the perfect time ring ect... some of that is excuses but every human is different!
don't nag him but be honest with yourself if you get married and something happends and you end up nagging him then will he devorse you all these worries! be who you are nag if you need if he gets pushed away then he isn't the one for you!
if he loves you and has spend 5 years i'm sure he can handle some nagging!
if he loves you that is!
i'm on Birthconrtrol and i get so emtional sometimes i just yell and cry and flip out my boyfriend loves me any way
it's going on 2 years for us as you stated we talk alot about our wedding but we both feel stronglty as going into it with a debt free way! so if it take s 10 eyars to clean our debt then it'willb e 10 years for the wedding!
We both will only marry one time there for it means a lot! to both of us! there for i will have a wedding of my dreams no matter what the cost if i have to wait to get that money for it then so be it!
talk about it with more details instead of talking about the fun stuff
2007-09-28 13:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dated my husband for 3 years before he proposed and we lived together for 2 years prior to that..he too always talked about it and watched the jewelry channel for the perfect ring..all it took was a little nagging and pushing..and one year later, we married..no regrets on both side yet.......i've also known people who dated 10 years before they married and people who dated 6 months before they got engaged and people who can't stand each other get engaged..nowadays people just want to get married..for all the wrong reasons..you should really ask him...but a little push may help!
2007-09-28 20:46:04 · answer #5 · answered by baebeecakes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you're underage, 5 years is a very long time if both of you actually want to get married and start a family.
Why don't you ask him flat out if he's ready to get married? It's a yes or no question. If he says he's ready, set a date and start planning. If he says no - well, you have your answer. He might be ready in a year, in 10 years, or never - whether or not you want to hang around waiting for him to be "ready" is your choice. Perhaps you may decide that you don't need marriage to be happy in your relationship - it's up to you; but you have to be happy with this decision. If you see marriage in your future, and he doesn't - you're wasting your time. Talk to him about it. There's nothing wrong with discussing the future with a person you want to spend your life with.
2007-09-28 13:41:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was with my now husband for eight and a half years before he proposed. mind you, i was 17 and he was 22 when we started dating, and we decided not to get engaged until after i finished school for which I went 6 years after one year of high school. But, the last year and a half after i was done with college, I was beginning to wonder like you. When he did propose on Christmas eve in 2005 I was completely shocked. Who knew he could surprise me after that long and all the conversations about getting married!! It was great, and we're now about to celebrate our first anniversary and are TTC our first child.
He'll come around, maybe he's waiting for the exact right moment with the perfect ring!!
2007-09-28 15:15:48 · answer #7 · answered by Just Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's about how long it took for my husband and I to get married. I felt very much the same where if I talked about it too much then it would push him away. During our fourth year of dating, I felt that he had been with me long enough to know whether he wanted to marry me so we talked about it more seriously. (It still took him 6 more months to propose! lol...) Don't be afraid to discuss the subject of marriage with your boyfriend. It's a perfectly reasonable conversation to have especially since he brings it up so often. Obviously, it's not a difficult or uncomfortable subject for him. Go for it! Some men need a little encouragement -- mine did.
2007-09-28 13:10:24 · answer #8 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister just got married after 8 years and I really think it was a long time but she wanted to wait until she was done with school. . Our other one was engaged for 15 and it never happened she finally broke it off. It is all dependent on how long you are willing to wait for this man. You need to realize that if he hasn't done it in 5 years maybe he is content with not having to make the comitment to your relationship or look at where your lives are and think about your circumstances like are you in school etc... Some people leave marriage to the side until they are into their carreers or such. YOU have to decide how long you are willign to wait for him because it could be forever!
2007-09-28 12:54:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are weird. He probably thinks that he doesn't want to get married "right now" I mean that in a literal sense. Then when he does decide he wants to get married it will be "right now". You mean we have to wait a year so we can plan a wedding? I was supposed to propose to you last year so we could get married now? Guys think that they propose and it is like instant wedding. I know it's crazy but that is how they think.
2007-09-28 13:32:37 · answer #10 · answered by JM 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋