ok I entered into my fiance's facebook mail. and i saw this message he sent to his ex which I didn't like at all. they broke up bc she was kinda indecisive and she played on him with her use to be boyfriend. so my nowadays fiance asked her to do not be friends anymore. that happened in 2005. now i found this message where it got me really jealous. he was asking her how she was and asked if she still was agree with the idea of not being friends bc he didn't want that bc he hated the fact of being a strange with her and he couldn't help but asking her how was everything in her life. I dont know if i am being cheesily JELAOUS or was he just being friendly?
somebody help me
2007-09-28 05:47:20 · 15 answers · asked by *live,laugh,love* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he wants to save his pride,he wants you, or he would leave try not to push,its just closeng the door on that part of his life.
2007-09-28 05:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by kat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can understand where you're coming from. That is a little strange. Maybe they were really good friends first and the relationship made things strange so they decided to no longer be friends. If they were really close before the relationship, then maybe he just wants his friend back. Men and women can simply be friends but I doubt that is the case if he was so upset about their breaking up that he didn't want to see her anymore. If you are insecure and jealous of what's going on then you need to bring it up to him. Regardless of how many responses you get here, no one can tell you exactly what's going through his mind other than him. We're all just guessing. I have to ask, does he know that you check his mail on facebook? If not, then I can see why you are reluctant to talk to him. You don't want him to know that you go behind his back. In that case, you should really rethink the relationship. You can't be with someone when you are too insecure in the relationship to trust them. If he knows that you check his mail, then he's basically giving you permission to bring up whatever you see on his facebook. Either way, you need to talk to him about what's going on. This is a strange situation. If my gf told me that she was done with her ex and that they had broken up not because she didn't want him but because he was indecisive about whether he wanted to be with her, I would have some questions for her when I saw them together or found out that they were communicating again.
2007-09-28 05:59:00 · answer #2 · answered by Vince R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he doesn't know that you read his messages, then I'd suggest you not to confront him. He will probably think you spy on him. If he lets you open his facebook mail, then there is nothing to worry because he does not think it matters at all. It was 2 years ago. I am still friends with my ex from 10 years ago. I still want my ex to be my friend because ex always knows you better than all other friends. If both sides don't have bad feeling toward each other, ex's can be BFFs. My gf is jealous, but she always tells me that she "has a little faith". Now we've dated for over 5 years. If he leaves you for her, then he is not yours. whatever doesn't kill you make you stronger. Learn how to trust him, it goes a long way in your relationship. If you try to control it, how long can you do that? Hope things work out for you. Good luck.
2007-09-28 05:57:35 · answer #3 · answered by Carborane 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he probably feels guilty about ending it with her.
as of such you should test your engagement and confess what you found.
And then take the opportunity ask him why he is still talking this woman when you are engaged.
being jealous is part of life and both sides must deal with it regardless who is the jealous at the time.
If I were him I would be so concerned of your feeling that try to explain everything and make you at ease.
Another thing that I was trying to tell you before was that you post this question is here is not private so he can see this and get all kinds of mixed feelings. So I urge you get all this out in the open with him soon (what you saw in his facebook and you feelings ).
wishing that best with him
2007-09-28 09:10:32 · answer #4 · answered by l33nix 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did they date for a while? If so I think it is normal to want to check in and see how she is. Do you have ex's that you keep in touch with or ever wonder about?
I think it's OK when you have had strong feelings for someone in the past to want to know how they are.
Just remember you are the one with the ring not her- he wants you, but probably still has a fondness for her- which is to be expected if they really cared for each other at sometime
try not to be jealous because he chose you, he wants a life with you.
2007-09-28 05:56:12 · answer #5 · answered by JillyBean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems as though you're having trust issues with him. Not because he sent her a message so much, but because you went into his email and checked it. If it does really bother you, confront him. Men don't like skip around the bush, like we women always want them to assume they know what's going on in our heads, they don't know, so just come out and ask him. More than likely, he was just curious to see how she was doing and saying hi. He wouldn't have asked you to marry him if he didn't believe in the relationship that you both established.
2007-09-28 05:54:52 · answer #6 · answered by allisonwise1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GG,
men just don't get that friendly after saying that they didn't want to be friends anymore. Obviously he is still curios about her and probably don't like the fact that he is not in her life any longer. He might have some unresolved feelings for her, otherwise he wouldn't reach back to see. He has probably the urge to find out if she feels the same way about him.
You'll find out by his behavior!
2007-09-28 05:58:10 · answer #7 · answered by the girl next door 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he was trying to keep the peace between him but he also still may have feeling for her.
this is what I would do. Act sad when he comes home, make him ask you what's wrong (all girls know how to do this) then tell him that you have been having this really weird feeling that you two are not gonna get married. When he says "what! What do you mean" (and he will) You say I feel like you dont really want to be with me. Tell him that you think he is still in love with his ex and tell him you would rather him tell you now then leave you at the alter later. tell him its not just a feeling or me being dumb, this is real what your feeling and you are ready to just give up. this should put the both of you in thinking mode. Tell him to be up front with you and let him know that you dont want him to leave but if he would be happier there then he needs to save you a lot of pain and embarassment now. It will hurt if he does chose her over you but wouldnt you rather know now then later at your wedding she shows up and pronounces her lover her him. i know that was far fetched but it does happen. So be careful. You dont want to have to go through a divorce when you could have solved this all now.
2007-09-28 05:56:59 · answer #8 · answered by ask me again 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You're not going to manage your relationship by spying on your fiance. Having said that you've not contributed to the damaging of your relationship with yoiur fiance because it's obvious that he loves her deeply. He was hasty in ending that relationship without examining his feelings for her. He was examining her feelings for him. Obviously he admits that she was not commiting to him. So he thought he'd end his relationship with her.
Have I helped you. No way. You are going to confront him and he'll find it very easy to convince you that he was being friendly. What kind of friendly feelings are these.
But you are in love with your fiance and he knows it. He knows you're not going anywhere.
Girl you are stuck. Don't do what he did. You'll not be at peace if you let him go.Look at it this way. You are onloy cheating on another girl. She's not his ex. she's his present girl friend, no matter what he said.
2007-09-28 06:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by rishi0005 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It really could be out of "genuine" concern...to put his mind at ease concerning her...she was his "1st", but i don't think the feelings are "attchment ones" they are ones of "conscience" more than anything...and, if she is good, then he is good too...if she is bad, then he might shake his head..but, life goes on, and their is nothing he can do....just ask him if he is concerned...let him tell you..he is probably curious and just wondering...to satisfy the heart and mind...that's all..but "ask" and find out for yourself..just as he has...lol...bye..
2007-09-28 06:02:16 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. "Diamond" 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋