The neglect and physical abuse was too much for me I left when I was 15, it was hard at first ... I actually lived in a Salvation Army Box for a few months. I finished school got my degree and work in Compliance which I enjoy. There must be a God because the -1- child we do have is well adjusted. My parents have not changed ... but I still pray for them. Is it just me or are all families like this? Lately I've been hearing parents swearing at their babies, telling the to shut the f-ck up.
2007-09-28 05:38:08 · 10 answers · asked by Shells 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need a license to drive, courses to work but any idiot can have a child...
I left home at 17 because of abuse by my siblings. I have not spoken to my oldest brother in 23 years because of this abuse. He died to me a long time ago and you know what? It is not uncommon...
It's frightening sometimes the stuff I see on transit with parents and kids... One mom actually lifted her hand to backhand a 3 year old to keep her quiet. I don't know about you but I'm one of those people that will step in when needed. I was sitting behind her and as she lifted her hand to hit the child, I grabbed it and held. Then I leaned forward and told her that if she decided to follow through on her action that I stopped, the police and child services would be at the next bus stop to meet her. I said it very quietly and as I released her hand, she turned to me and told me to mind my own business.
My response was this: If you abuse your child in public, maam, not only are you making it my business but I am obligated as a decent human being to ensure the safety of the child. This includes physically stopping you to make sure you don't smack that child because she's being a kid or for any reason for that matter.
No child deserves to be hit and they behave the way they are taught. I would suggest that you think about taking some parenting courses to learn how to deal with a little child if you are having difficulty. Child abuse is punishable by law and there is jail time so don't for one minute that I wouldn't call the police and act as a witness.
So when you tell me to mind my own business, maam, I will respond that the child is my business as a FUNCTIONING member of society.
I then looked down at the little girl and winked at her and her little face just lit up!!
Yeah, some people can't cope and they won't admit it. Other people repeat what was done to them. Then there are those that learn from treatment they received and swear never to make a person feel the way that they were made to feel. That is me... I was horribly physically, verbally and emotionally abused from 5 years old to 17 by my siblings. The day I walked out of my parents house was the day I began to live.
All you can do is take action when you need to protect those that can't protect themselves. Report parents that are neglectful so maybe Social Services will get involved and get some counseling and courses for these parents to learn how to deal with their anger and issues from their childhood.
Good for you that you escaped too and made a life for yourself and your family. I have a 15 year old son who I have never abused in any way and he is my best friend. But I had to really work at it but at the end of the day, my parents taught me to take responsibility seriously and raising kids is the biggest one.
Try not let this inundate you.. A lot of the times, we can do nothing. That one time though, that you stop abuse in its tracks, you feel six foot tall and bullet proof.
Take care and keep up the good work with your child!!
2007-09-28 07:21:54 · answer #1 · answered by niska94 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to get the whole thing terrible I needed to say to my ex mentioned over the telephone or via electronic mail/textual content message. When we did a custody alternate and my son used to be reward, all that there used to be to mention used to be "he is eaten lunch, he has a bloodless, I placed remedy in his bag, he can take it in 2 hours. Call me and the health care professional if it will get worse. I'll see you the following day at 5." If my ex's mom used to be there, she cherished to get in my face. Often whilst protecting my son. I generally simply permit her suppose she had one as I effectively walked away. Until I bought a restraining order after a pair years. If the ex desires drama and you do not, simply restrict the touch. Email, textual content and a short lived dialogue approximately the baby's instantaneous health on the alternate. And do not permit the opposite father or mother goad you into extra. Just breathe. Btw, it is been approximately 5 years considering the fact that our final truly obstacle (and considering the fact that the restraining order towards his mom) and my husband now encourages joint loved ones outings with my ex and his exceptional buddy. And it's going to be prolonged and costly, however he might search rights to the baby if he acts swiftly. He could not act while the baby used to be born for the reason that he didn't realize of the baby. But, he might provide an explanation for this to the court docket and get the ball rolling to set up his rights and obligations.
2016-09-05 10:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all families are like this. Unfortunately in todays society hurt and neglect are becoming more common as opposed to " in the closet". I do feel that these are more related to a lack of knowledge and/or support. Of course, no family is the Brady bunch so to speak, we all have issues and problems.
I have a lot of respect for you and others like you who've made something better for themselves and their family. I used to work with children and have seen first hand what different families are like. I congratulate you on all the hard work you put into sticking up for yourself and making a life you knew was right.
2007-09-28 06:05:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am glad you were able to get out, even though you struggled.....you did it!
Neglect and physical abuse of children is becoming more and more of a problem. SO many people are having kids they don't really want. Why don't they just put them up for adoption? There is nothing wrong with that and there are so many families out there struggling to have kids. They would love to adopt.
It is horrible the way many parents talk to their kids....calling them names and swearing at them. It's not normal, but I think it starting to become accepted. Maybe if more people would get involved in reporting these people, the kids could have a decent chance of growing up in a loving home. The Social Services and Child Protection Services departments do not want to know your name, just which child is in need of care. They'll check it out from there.
Your child is fortunate that you do not want her/him to grow up the way you did. Kudos to you also for not pointing the finger of blame at your parents and using their mistakes in raising you as an excuse to mistreat your own child....many people do that, you know.
2007-09-28 05:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I to had a difficult childhood and left when i was17, I later learned all families are not like that. I also had one child but learned I ONLY KNEW WHAT i had learned. I found I truly had to learn a different way because i definitely was not going to bring up my child the way I was brought up. When I didn't have the answers i found them and surrounded myself with positive and healthy people. The kind of people I knew were bringing up there children in a different way. I believe we all are a product of our environment and in till I learned another way myself I would maybe not entirely but somehow continue on with some of the behaviors of my parents. I now have grandchildren and yes i believe there is a God and with his help things can change and the abuse in my family has not continued. And no my parents haven't changed and i know i can't change anyone but myself especially anyone who can't or realize they have a problem. I also see families that are like that but at least for me i can say i am not one of them anymore.
2007-09-28 06:02:30 · answer #5 · answered by lynnss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, not all parents are like that.
I believe that most parents are doing a good job. Unfortunately we dont hear about those. We only hear about the bad parents and only notice the bad parents.
What I mean is that until recently I did not notice (at the stores for example) the parents who were having a good conversation with their children. But I would notice parents who would swear or yell for example.
It did bother me too and I started paying attention.
I found out that there are lot of parents that actually normal relationships with their children.
Good Luck
2007-09-28 05:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am glad you did well with your life. I never ever can understand how can a mom do such a thing to her own baby/kid.They can not be themselves or may be they have some big big problems. I agree that they should not have kids.
I am a mom and I can not stand my baby crying. since the first sec i became a mom, i do not wish anything but health and happiness for my baby.
I am so sorry to hear there are some kids who can not get the love and care they deserve.
I wish every baby a happy and healthy life
2007-09-28 06:00:39 · answer #7 · answered by Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should never let your past or what you went through to discourage you from living a normal life and in your case from having a family of your on. On the contrary it should encourage you to strive for the best and go against the odds. In your family's case yes all you can do is pray, no everyone was meant to have children I guess i have myself experienced what you mentioned, heatring my own sister curse out her kids. its unbelievable! anyway best of luck
2007-09-28 05:45:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right some people never should have children. I've seen children like that and it breaks my heart. You should be proud of yourself, succeeding in spite of it all. I wish for them that your brothers and sisters will grow close enough to you to know you're there in case they need to talk about it;)
2007-09-28 05:54:57 · answer #9 · answered by Fannie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People seem to breed randomly, without a thought to their own behaviors and haven't a clue how to be a good person or parent, for that matter.
good you pray for your parents... they won't change unless they want to.
Take care of YOU... sending hugs.
2007-09-28 05:49:45 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋