My mom has always had control issues with her kids (specially me). I'm 20 years old and I do live under her roof but I'm not allowed to go out during the weekends. I have to come home early or else she tells me that I wan't to kill her with the stress I give her when she knows I'm out. Seriously I hate this so much. I guess that's why I'm depressed most of the time. I first have to deal with my personal problems then I can't ever get out of my house. In december I will be turning 21, what can i do to get more freedom. Is it right that she is like this? she says that it is because she has no trust because i always lie to her, but for a reason I am doing it, she need to back off.
2007-09-28 05:34:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
oh I tried moving out and she gets worse she doesnt stop crying and always tells me the minute i move out of my house I divorse her and my family.
2007-09-28 05:36:03 · update #1
I mean there was a time i used to go out clubbing alot but I always worked and go to school. I eventually realize that it wasn't right regarless but she always reminds me of that. But at the same time I'm scared of moving out again, I always wanted to move out when I bought a house not to go rent a little room or a single apartment. I'm just asking for more independence.
2007-09-28 05:43:09 · update #2
Last question can anyone tell me what should be the rules?
2007-09-28 05:47:37 · update #3
As long as your mother is supporting you, she can make up whatever rules she wants. It may be helpful for you to have a heart-to-heart with her and explain that you are responsible enough to make more decisions on your own. But ultimately, you aren't going to be "free" until you are living on your own and supporting yourself. Good luck!
2007-09-28 05:38:26 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is wrong. You need to sit her down and have a talk ASAP or your going to be the cat lady that lived with her mom her whole life! First of all have your game plan together - do you have a job? can you pay your own bills? do you have somewhere to go? etc. If you want to live on your own and be free you have to be able to do that without relying on your parents to dig you out of holes - it's just part of growing up! After you have gotten all your eggs in the basket - have "THE" talk. Tell her you are old enough to live on your own and make the decisions in your life that will make you who you are. As long as your are in her home, living by her rules, you will never really know who YOU are. You should tell her the stress I put on you??? How about the stress I'm going through being treated like I'm 10 years old? If you feel that it is betraying you to move on with my adult life then I am sorry you feel that way but at some point I have to grow up and be a functioning part of society. Tell her it's not personal, just business! YOUR BUSINESS! Life is too short to live by rules, it's a big place and there are lots of things to see - don;t waste another day being unhappy in your 20's, the best of life has yet to come! Good Luck, wish you the best! Dont be depressed!! Life is Good, you just don;t know it yet! Go get'em tiger!! Email me if need be!
2007-09-28 05:45:33 · answer #2 · answered by Candace C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First step = actually move out. Stay in contact with your Mom but just by phone until she begins to accept that you are not coming back. But if you want to be independant, then make up your mind and actually BE independant. You can't go running back every time you have a problem or need your laundry done. Tell her you love her and get on with it!
2007-09-28 06:24:47 · answer #3 · answered by sixftrd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is a nutbag, and she has abaondonment issues, on top of being overprotective and selfish and she probably doesn't have a "life" so she is living vicariously through you.
MOVE OUT!!! If she cries and causes a scene, she will get over it.
You can't live your life and do what she wants you to forever. You have a brain, use it. You are an adult woman... stop letting your mother control your every move.
2007-09-28 05:40:11 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and ask her why she is acting that way and what do you need to do to be on your own because you are getting older and she can't stop that. Maybe buy her a pup to keep her company till you can visit or make a point to visit 3 or 4 times a week.
2007-09-28 05:41:24 · answer #5 · answered by tiana2404 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes 2 to play that game. Move out. Let her cry. She will stop when she sees that it does no good. She is controlling, you got that right. You are allowing her to do it. You need to just leave, live your life and let her cry. She is a big girl. Go live your life.
2007-09-28 05:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her mom would be chuffed that her daughter is taking steps to be risk-free. i might nonetheless propose utilizing condoms (alongside with the hoop), because of the fact the Nuvo ring nonetheless go away an excellent gamble for being pregnant. additionally, it has a manner of being "hooked" out by way of the penis for the duration of intercourse... and you cant experience its out until eventually the deed is over.
2016-10-05 12:01:04 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i thought my mum was controlling, i don't stay with my mum but she is kinda a bit controlling when you are under her roof. i think you need to talk to your mum, you are still young but not a baby anymore, don't move out with a feud with your mum, but i do advice that you be read to move out before you have the talk because she may think you are bluffing.
2007-09-28 06:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by http://nightblogz.blogspot.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your mom both sound like you could use a good anti-depressant.
seriously, ignore her rants and she'll stop. if she sees her bad behavior gets what she wants from you, what makes you think she'll ever stop.
and STOP lying to your mother, you're just making her lunacy worse.
2007-09-28 05:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's wrong w/you moving out, you're old enough. she will always be your parent and i guess b/c if she can't control your dad she has to control someone and you probably give her the impression you need to be controlled. why can't you tell her
2007-09-28 05:37:31 · answer #10 · answered by Adrienne L 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋