I was raised Catholic and my husband was given the choice to have a religion or not by his parents who only believe in God....Now i want to raised our son Catholic but he says that he should have the choice of going to church or not, but atteding Mass is how we learn to be better Catholics and learn more about the Catholic faith....he says taking him to church is the samething as forcing religion on him and that if taking him to church begins to damage our son he will stop me from taking him church......what should i do?
2007-09-28 04:54:24 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
i know i messed up by marrying a non catholic and we did have this conversation nefore we married.....he told me that it was fine with him to raise him catholic becasue he doesnt have a religion to teach him but that God does exsist......but now that we have a child he has a problem with it......what he told me about catholicism is the same thing his mother said to me " the majority priest are are sex offenders"....thats awesome ...i guess ill keep him home from school and do home studies in stead because i dont want a teacher seducing him either....
2007-09-28 05:16:16 · update #1
Your husband is absolutley wrong in this matter. His parents let him chose whether or not to belong to a faith and he chose not to.
Tell your husband that you are going to let your son decide what he wants to eat, when he wants to go to bed, etc. Letting a child chose whether or not he will be raised in a faith is being an irresponsible parent.
Take your son to Mass on Sunday. if your husband objects, sternly remind him of his promise before the two of you got married. if he says that promise no longer holds, ask him what other promises do not hold.
Teach your son about the Catholic Church at home.
2007-09-28 07:44:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think your husband is right on this one. Both my husband and I are atheists. BUT- I refuse to let my own personal beliefs be forced on my children. Religion, or lack of it, is a very personal thing. Your child should have an accepting environment in which to nurture his own beliefs. He may decide that Catholicism is the way to go for him, and he will be a stronger Catholic for having the chance to explore his beliefs. He will also be a more tolerant, well-rounded person capable of dealing with people from all faiths.
My child, raised by atheists, has gone to Catholic preschool, and now goes to a Jewish school where she receives an excellent education and even learns Hebrew. Not only am a raising a tolerant person, I could be raising a foreign diplomat!
I think you should embrace the chance to guide your son through his life, accepting who he becomes as a person and using his questions and experiences as a chance to grow as a person yourself and as a Catholic. I also think maybe you and hubby should have talked about this before you had kids.
2007-09-28 12:12:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let your son decide if he wants to go to church.
Has your son displayed an interest in religion or god? If so address his questions and see if he wants to go to church.
I think your husband has a point about forcing the religion on to your child. Everyone should choose their own path and what is right from them. Which I know is hard because parents want their kids to be like them.
You can still teach him to be a kind moral person without going to church. Religion does not equate to morals.
Also (no to be mean or anything) if religion is so important to you why did you marry a non catholic? further more why did you have a child without discussing how you would raise him? (again not to be mean, just want to raise the question)
good luck!
2007-09-28 12:04:58 · answer #3 · answered by friskygimp 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You didn't talk about this at Pre-Cana? You never had this conversation with him before you married him? I don't know what advice to give you other than you are currently in a make or break situation. If a child is brought into a marriage that will dissolve into chaos over religion then I really think that would be a big mistake. I respect that you want to raise a child in the Church but I also respect your husband's opinion as well. I don't dislike the fact that I was brought up in a tradition I no longer choose to practice that being Catholicism but it would have been a nightmare had my parents been conflicted about it. I wish you well. This is a very difficult situation. The only thing I could advise is marriage counseling as it could be helpful.
2007-09-28 12:00:39 · answer #4 · answered by Yogini 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Of course, you should know that even the Catholic Church does not consider itself "The Authority" on God. It thinks it has a fair, and useful, understanding of God... but not a complete & exclusively benificial grasp. That's why Pope John Paul II, for example, saught audiences with The Dalhi Lama, Imams, Physicists, Satanists, Budists, etc., etc...
What the Church can do, for your son or anyone else, is keep him open to the concept of God... (The transcedent nature of Being/Life/What Is) and the possibility that there is more to life than our five senses might otherwise conclude. The Church can also help him learn some strategies for how to treat other people (with respect, love, integrity, etc.)
So, my suggestion basically is to follow Pope John Paul's example. Expose your son to Catholicism, and every other belief system you can manage. Keep him open to the concept of God, and help him then investigate the concept for himself...
2007-09-28 12:06:14 · answer #5 · answered by delsinelu 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your dear husband thinks attending a church is forcing religion, and then suggests it might damage him? Oh man. Everyone, this is why you should discuss these types of things BEFORE you get married and have children...no matter what you believe! If you are truly into your faith, it would only make sense to marry someone of the same beliefs.
2007-09-28 12:05:27 · answer #6 · answered by MonkeyMami 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what your husband says, it's the smartest choice there is, let your child make their own choice, if they choose to follow you, go you, or if the child goes with your husband, then go him. I happen to agree with your husband, forcing them to go to church without knowing all of it is the same thing as forcing religion down someones throat. AND if you take him to church does damage your son, so when the child gets old enough, let both of your explain your beliefs, and let HIM make the choice, not you or anyone else. Just my opinion.
2007-09-28 12:07:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesnt really matter what man-made religion he belongs to or not. Following man's doctrines means nothing.
We must follow the Bible, and become born again, read John 3:3. The pope can not save you, only God can.
Mass is a false teaching, they claim that that little wafer is actually Jesus in the flesh. However, the Bible says when Jesus returns in the flesh "Every eye will see Him". Leave that cult, and join a Bible study group instead.
2007-09-28 12:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by Rudy P 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Welcome to a collection of news reports of ministers sexually abusing children:
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ALL Protestant denominations - 838 Ministers
147 Baptist Ministers
251 "Bible" Church Ministers (fundamentalist/evangelical)
140 Anglican/Episcopalian Ministers
38 Lutheran Ministers
46 Methodist Ministers
19 Presbyterian Ministers
197 various Church Ministers
2007-09-28 12:35:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is right. You need to let him make the choice himself. Until then, expose him to all religions, and very good and thorough education, then let him decide for himself when he's an adult.
You do NOT have the right to force your child into a religion or out of it.
2007-09-28 12:05:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋