I would like my wife to attend parent/teacher conferences with me for my child who she is very close to.The problem is my exwife(mom) who DOES NOT want my wife to go "as she is not my sons mother".Can my ex "legally" keep my wife from going if i want her there?I have joint custody with my exwife and the only reason my ex does not want her there is bitterness and control issue.if this goes to court what will the judge say?
2007-09-28 04:45:59 · 15 answers · asked by Bob F 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my exwife and i have seperate times for the conference so its not like they have to be in the same room together.
2007-09-28 04:46:56 · update #1
Well, if you have separate times, then how would she even know? If you have joint custody, then she has no reason to say that your wife can't be there. Maybe explain the situation to the teacher being as politically correct and unbiased as possible--ex. My wife spends a lot of time with my son and she loves him to death. We want him to have the best education possible and think it's important for both of us to hear about what's going on at school so we can best help him at home. Would it be alright if she came in? That way, you're putting your son's needs and interests first.
2007-09-28 04:51:51 · answer #1 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you have seperate times.. try to make sure those seperate times arent close together.. (hers at 3 yours at 3:30)
No, she cant legally keep your wife from going.
The judge would say.. to himself - i cant believe she actually brought this bs to my court. out loud- nothing, there is no harm in having a step mother that truely loves and cares for this child. to make it look good on paper, he may say that the conferences are to be held seperately. ( which you already do )
Tell your wife she is not alone, but your ex will never get control over her.. and being an ex means she no longer gets control over you either. Tell her to worry more about her child and less about your life. The more people the child has loving them the better.
2007-09-28 06:46:14 · answer #2 · answered by flsaltlifegurl06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually and I am not trying to be rude or mean because I to am a step parent. The new wife unless you share 50-50 custody with the previous wife and the divorce decree states that "while in your care you decide medical, education and so forth" then yes she can. If the child is NOT in your physical care at the time of the conferance then no she can not. However and this is me speaking as a step parent, I do not feel that it is my business to attend parent/teacher conferances I am not the "parent". If you really want to take this to court go for it most often then not the courts will side with the mother (sad but true) personally I dont know why your new wife would want to go
Doesnt matter how many thumbs down I get doesnt matter if you have shared custody but who has PHYSICAL custoday of the child is the one that can make decision.
2007-09-28 05:11:15 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
No,
I think the only way that could happen is if there were an active restraining order.
My advice to you would be that you and your wife should go to your child's school and schedule a meeting with the principal. You seem like a calm, rational man, and I'm sure they can work something out as long as you both keep your cool...
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned",
so maybe you should beat her to the punch where any of your child's interests are involved. You (and the woman you've chosen to share your life with) have every right to be a factor in everything this child does, regardless of whose pride it hurts. This is about the well-being of your child, not the one-upmanship of your ex-wife.
Good luck!
<3
2007-09-28 04:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by no one 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think its a good idea your wife goes with you. she is a part of your life and your childs life and your ex should realize that. She is going to be bitter about the situation, but in the end, what can she really do about it, not a thing. In court, if your ex says that you took your wife to the parent teacher conferances, do you really think he is going to gasp and tell you how terrible of a father you are and take the kids away, i dont thinks so, if your ex brings it up, it will make her look stupid, bitter, and childish and like you said they wont run into eachother there so i wouldnt worry about it.
2007-09-28 04:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by louie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In answer to your question, the court always decides these things in accordance with what is right for the CHILD. Your EX can ask for whatever she wants, but the court will (most likely) deem what it feels is best for the child. Since your current wife has part in his education and deals with the schools, it is far more likely that they will side with you rather than your EX.
As stated by others, since you have differing times, your EX will not know anyway. If you feel you must go to court over this, remember they want what is best for the child, not what is best for YOU, your EX or your current WIFE.
2007-09-28 04:55:53 · answer #6 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, your ex can't say a thing about your new wife being there. Your new wife is just as big a part of your child's life as she is, if you guys have joint custody. Also, legal definition of joint custody states that you both have equal say in the child's life, so just becasue she doens't want something, does not mean that you have to listen to her. Sounds like the ex needs to grow up a bit.
2007-09-28 04:55:15 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is the kind of petty crap judges hate to hear. If it goes to court it will be explained to your ex that she cannot control her child's exposure to your wife or your wife's involvment in your child's life unless there is a abuse issue. Hopefully someone will explain to your ex that having more people who love and care about your children is always a good thing. My kids have a huge extended "family" They have 3 father-figures (one who is actually their dad) and 3 "moms" (my sis and my best friend) and are the better for it. More loving adults in a child's life only improves that life and your ex needs to stop being petty and selfish. She can't legally keep your wife from coming at all! And it's sad that she's trying.
2007-09-28 04:54:14 · answer #8 · answered by Tresa R 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your ex has no basis for this. If you have joint custody (which you're implying), then your new wife has a responsibility to tend the raising of the child on occasion, and should take an interest in the child's educational progress. She should be commended for doing so, too. So few parents take a real interest in even their own children's schooling.
2007-09-28 04:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by Mythological Beast 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it shows wonderful parenting when all the parents wish to attend. Since you are remarried, it is quite common for a new wife/husband to attend school parent teacher conferences for their stepchild so she can share in helping to do her part to both support you but also to assist your daughter where she may need some extra help or encouragement. I like that you scheduled your times at different slots. The goal is to keep this as pleasant as possible and the focus is on your child and how we (exes as well as step parents) can work together to give assistance where it might be needed but also, to do our part which is get past the divorce and move on with life. There are probably a million reasons your marriage didn't work out but you have some beautiful gifts from that time, your children. As apparent that is divorced, I always hope that my children will follow the example to leave the sins of the parents in the past and our job as parents is to raise our children and that takes some work together. Oh, it isn't always possible but with time, perhaps some of the bitterness of some passes and we can all get on the same page, raising up fine children to be adults who learn from our errors and learn from waht is right with us too as they grow up to be even better adults, parents, and community members. You might ask you child what she would like that all of you are interested in her progress and that her step mom would love to go along, would that be alright with you? Some ex'es have an easier time of moving on with life and focusing on just working together to raise these fine youngsters which were what was right with the union into fine adults, parents, emotionally healed from the trauma of divorce, and able to be a partner later in life. Sometimes one of the parents feels threatened by a new step-parent. This is easily rememdied by separating parent teacher conference dates and by clear cut introductions and role as step parent. It hurts the kids most of all for those that remain bitter and hateful. I am glad you are taking the high road and including your ex in important parenting things but also involving your new wife, also a part of your life and your children. Good luck to you and may time be a healer. Cathy Halash, Battle Creek, MI
2007-10-01 12:08:40 · answer #10 · answered by cathleen h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋