his friend made it clear that he wants strippers and his fiance told me she doesn't care. my issue is, i don't want my husband there! without stepping on others' toes, i don't believe in stripping. i find it degrading. i told my husband i would strip for him (i'm ok with that haha). this bothers me....i don't know what to do.
am i right for not wanting him to go?
2007-09-28 04:29:03 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
my husband didn't have a bachelor party...i didn't have a bachelorette party either....
2007-09-28 04:29:57 · update #1
i believe that taking your clothes off for money in front of strangers is degrading....stripping for my husband isn't because he's my husband (duh?)
2007-09-28 04:45:53 · update #2
for those who think i'm insecure....lemme explain: my husband has been to strip clubs BEFORE we got married. and i grew up with a lot of men (2 older bros and all male cousins about a dozen) and all the stories i've heard about bachelor parties where the buddies get more crazy than the bachelor himself and there are more than stripping involved. i know my hubby won't do anything, i just don't believe in married or committed people looking at another naked person. he's offered to let me plan the party with him but i'm just not interested.
yes, i have a met quite a few strippers. they are not all the same but like i mentioned, without stepping on others' toes, i don't think much of them. they do it for different reasons but none are convincing enough for me to respect them.
2007-09-28 08:21:40 · update #3
umm, he's not the best man...he's just a groomsman but he doesn't care to be part of the wedding. his friend just expects him to throw him a bachelor party.
oh, by the way, he has a mind of his own so he'll go if he wants to go. he's not asking for my permission. this is just my opinion and all i asked was that if i'm wrong for objecting.
2007-09-28 08:49:57 · update #4
I see exactly what you're saying, and I totally agree. I would not want my husband to look at naked women when (hello!) you're the only important woman in his life. Stripping for cash is degrading, as well as disgusting, in my opinion, and why a man would look at that rather than his beautiful wife, who knows.
You're not wrong for your reasonings, nor are you insecure. You just don't understand why a married man would want to be in a sexual situation with strippers around. If he's going to go anyways though, then I'd tell him exactly how you feel and your reasonings for feeling so. You don't sound like a "nag" or "prude" or anything, so you're good there haha. Just let him know what's up....maybe he doesn't understand/realize why
you're bothered.
Maybe you guys can compromise, and he can go to the bachelor party after the strippers have arrived?
Good luck :)
2007-09-28 09:09:07 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want him there because stripping is degrading then you have no basis. You can't say something is degrading for somebody else. It's the girls' choices. Have you ever met a stripper? They say it makes them feel powerful. So if you are still against it, then it's jealousy. Let the guys have their fun. As long as they are strippers and not hookers, it's just harmless fun. I've seen too many brides (including mine) ruin a bachelor party because they got jealous over harmless fun. It's no big deal. Tell you husband, "don't touch any strippers and have a good time". If you aren't a jerk about it he won't want to hurt you.
2007-09-28 13:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you, I wouldn't want my husband there. I think it's wrong for anyone to strip for strangers. (Someone you are committed to is a different story). I think that after only 1 year of marriage this may cause more problems in your relationship than you or he may realize. If you don't want him there he should respect your feelings and not go.Have a real heart to heart conversation with him. Another thing you may not have considered is if he wants to go even though you think it's degrading(or have other reasons for not wanting him there) maybe you aren't compatible. It sounds like your view isn't the same as his. Maybe that is something to talk about too. Are there other areas where you don't see eye to eye. Especially on the important things you need to agree.
2007-09-28 11:56:42 · answer #3 · answered by a_mom 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can totally understand where you're coming from on this issue. I've just never seen the point in getting strippers after you've promised your love life to another. It's a total contradiction!
It's all right if you don't want him to go, IMO. I wouldn't want my boyfriend going to something like that either. The way I look at it, he had plenty of time to see strippers BEFORE he was in a committed relationship.
This has nothing to do with trust issues or anything like that. It's the simple point that people in committed relationships shouldn't feel the need to look at naked men/women besides the one they're committed to.
If you haven't already, talk to your husband about it and have him talk to his friend. They should BOTH respect you enough to understand your feelings on this issue.
Good luck!
2007-09-28 11:47:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you're wrong in not letting him go. Is he the best man? If he is, he needs to have a party that his friend will enjoy. That's his main responsibility, really. I understand you don't like it, for various reasons obviously, but get over it, if you trust him and he loves you, it really shouldn't matter. You might also suggest they go to a strip club instead of getting strippers to come to the house. It's probably less likely to get crazy there.
2007-09-28 15:40:01 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs S 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you trust your hubby? If so, I'm sure it will be ok - he should know his limits and respect you. My soon-to-be hubby's bachelor party is tomorrow night, and I know for a fact that they'll be going to a strip club, and I'm ok with it. I trust him, and I want him to have a great time. He's been to several of his friends' bachelor parties that also included a visit to the strip club - again, no biggie. Let him have a great time - besides, the bachelor is the one who gets the most attention :) Just trust him to know his limits. And, to keep your mind off of things, perhaps plan a girls' night out for the night of the bachelor party and have a great time yourself! I'm hanging out with my soon to be sister-in-law tomorrow and am pretty excited about it!
2007-09-28 13:21:13 · answer #6 · answered by kdkmilwaukee 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You'll just have to trust him.
Heck, I don't even want my husband to watch movies with nudity in them. I get really offended. So I tell him, look, if you want to watch those stupid B horror movies where the girls are running around in nothing but their panties, that's fine, but at least do it when I'm not home.
Luckily, my husband is pretty conservative and he would be extremely embarrassed by a stripper. In fact, he gets embarrassed when girls show too much cleavage. (he says, she's a pretty girl, but needs to cover up!).
So, in the end, you're going to just have to suck it up and let him go. The jealousy is rooted in insecurity. The way we feel about our bodies (No matter how hot we are) is pretty low. It gets lower when we know our husband is going to look at another girl. We start getting a little crazy in the head. What if she has better boobs than me? What if my husband would rather be with a girl like that rather than me? We start feeling like ugly old hags.
Look, while he's doing his bachelor party thing, I think you should have a girls night at your house. Throw a mini bachelorette party for the bride. Drink copious amounts of wine, watch chick flicks, play games. Maybe get a stripper of your own!!!!
2007-09-28 11:43:49 · answer #7 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Just because you find it degrading for the stripper does not mean your husband cannot participate in this event. So your values differ on this topic. How about agree to disagree?
Now, if you are jealous or insecure about this event, that is another story and you should address that. This is a harmless tradition in the name of a bit of merriment, and should not be made a big deal of.
2007-09-28 12:54:11 · answer #8 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is understandable to not want your husband to go. Perhaps he can work something out, on top of informing the stripper to not do anything special with him (if he happens to meet her in person) he could attempt to go to the restroom, get some more drinks or simply step out when the stripper comes in.
Remember, your husband is not bringing the stripper to the party so he can watch her himself but because his friend demands a stripper at his last hoorah. Best of luck with it.
2007-09-28 12:36:05 · answer #9 · answered by Manny 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't mind if my fiance goes to a strip club but I really don't like the idea of him going to party where they hire strippers say at someone's house or hotel. I've heard several stories of what goes on, and it's not just stripping it's alot dirtier and vulgar and that's exactly what the girls are hired to do. It disgusts me and I've asked him please not to have that at his bachelor party....go to strip clubs, fine but just not that.
I'm sure that would go on too at clubs but it's not as apparent
2007-09-28 16:20:56 · answer #10 · answered by mbenitez6383 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋