Okay parents of toddlers--help us figure this one out (switching from crib to 'big boy bed')?

Question

About two months before we had our second child, we switched our son from crib to his own room. It actually went very well. He's happy in his room. There's just one problem--he destroys it each night.

We understand that he's been given the freedom to run around his room and destroy it. It's annoying, but he's 2.

We don't know how to get him to stay in bed though. Now that his sister is here, I'm the only one in the house at night as my husband works. She's only a few weeks old, and breastfeeds every 2-3 hours As a result, I can't just put my son back in his bed.

Usually he just pulls out the clothes and spreads the books on the floor.

Last night he CLIMBED onto the desk and dresser and got some paintings off the wall. How'd he manage that? We have no flipping idea.

Despite being scary, now he's gone to the next level.

So parents--how did you get your toddler to SLEEP in the bed?

Our son is very active, and as a result as take 2 walks a day, play in a park, etc.

We've tried with the nightlight. Without the nightlight. We've taken all of his toys out of his room (that resulted in all of the clothes being tossed to the floor)

Like we said--we don't mind the mess. We wish he would leave the clothes in the drawer, but he's 2.

He'll also fall asleep in the middle of the room and wake up in the middle of the night screaming because he doesn't know where he is. Before we had our daughter, that was fine. Getting up at 2:00 with him is fine. Now we're getting limited sleep already.

We can't just put him back into the crib though. We need the space for a changing table and access to her recieving blankets, clean clothes, burp cloths, etc as necessary.

We have a bedtime routine--we take a 20 minute bath, have a 5 minute massage, read books for 20 minutes and sing songs for another few minutes after that. If he's still awake, I'll rub his back for maybe 5 minutes?

In the beginning we did sleep with him, but not even that helped much. He would fall asleep, we would leave, and he would wake up and go crazy.

Now that we have our baby, we don't have that luxury anymore.

Answer 1

I have to agree with the last person, possibly your little boy needs some more 1 on 1 time with Mommy maybe he is acting out his needs at night when he is alone in his room. it takes time for little ones to adjust to a new baby. If you can nurse the baby 1/2 hr before your boys bedtime so she is quiet for you and spend thet time with only him I limit bedtime rituals to 15 mins afavorite book, walking around the house on the way to bed saying night night to everything then going into his room and talking about his toys saying goodnight to them, goodnight to the moon etc..does he have a favorite toy that he sleeps with ? tuck him in to his bigboy bed with him and reassure him with love and kisses and what a good boy he is to sleep in his big bed... i believe that as all of the 2 yr old behavior this to shall pass..if you hear him in the night making mayhem n his room go to him again reassure him about what a big boy he is that it is sleepy time now and tuck him back in bed..i know that it is hard with the baby but sometimes you have to let one of them cry while tending to the other and now might be the time the baby has to wait a bit.. Good luck and please remeber this terrible twos turn into terrific threes!!

Answer 2

Well, it sounds like you are doing the best you can and have made considerable allowances. A lot of it is part of being two, and a lot of it is part of getting used to a new baby in the house. There's going to be a period of adjustment, and there's going to be nights where he makes a huge mess and spends most of the time sleeping anywhere but the bed, when he sleeps at all. This is the age where they learn to comfort themselves when the wake at night.

If it were me I'd either temporarily move the dresser and anything on the wall, or at least bolt the dresser to the wall for safety. If you don't mind the mess, you can have helping pick it up be part of his morning routine when he gets up. You might find if you leave a couple of quiet toys near the bed, he might not be tempted to mess up the rest of the room. But I find at this age the less you have in the room to distract, the more likely they will be willing to sleep. I had everything removed from my oldest child's room when she was 2YO but her bed, but she still liked to look out the window which was only a foot off the floor, even when it was dark outside.

Another step he may take is actually opening the door, leaving the room and start doing these things elsewhere in the house (we are now going through this with our second child, almost 2). So you might consider getting a doorknob cover now before he figures THAT out. Or if your house is relatively safe, be prepared for his "involvement" in your frequent trips to care for the baby at night and make sure he can't get out the exterior doors of your home. Either way, it's going to happen, so have a plan. If you have windows he can reach, that could be next too.

Eventually he will settle down. It's unfortunate that he does this at a time you are getting little sleep, but the plus side is he's more likely to nap during the day when he doesn't sleep enough at night.

Answer 3

What is your bedtime routine like? Also I wasn't quite clear on this - is he getting into trouble right after you put him to bed or in the middle of the night or when he wakes up in the morning? We moved our son to a toddler bed at 16 months and found that the more consistent we were about the bedtime routing (ALWAYS brushing his teeth, bath, jammies, 2 stories, 1 song, goodnight prayer and all at the same time each night), the better he did.

I'm also inclined to say part of his destruction is just attention getting since he has a new sibling. Are you spending any alone time with him during the day? I know it's hard with an infant but it's so important that you and your husband spend as much time one on one with your son so he knows he's still loved just as much as his now very needy sister. You might read the book "Siblings without rivalry" too - very helpful in pointing out things that you could do now and later to help them get along and help them both feel loved. Best of luck! Just remember that this is the hardest time and that it does get easier later!

Answer 4

A couples of things you need to do:
1. Lock up all stuffs, cabinets, stove, drawers that he can go in and to through out things. Put all his toys, stuffs in a big box, and lock it up before going to bed.
2. You need to think of some ways to wear him out - make him exhausted before his bed time. This means you need to
spend more time with him instead of the new baby girl. In doing so, he will feel he got all the love and care in his mind.
3. You have to try this new approach for at least one week or more, to give him a chance to get used to your new method. If he still gets up in the night, and sleeps on the floor, leave him there alone. If you got up and saw that just cover him with blanket will be sufficient. Leave him there.
If you make a big thing, then, he will think that he found the best way to get your attention. Then, he controls you.
4. Facing a mess - Toys, books, blankets are all over the room should be normal. If you do not have children, your room will be nice and neat. He is only two years old - what does he know? That is why the Almighty God assigns the tough duties to the Mom (Master of mess), Dad also can not get out of the hook either - Dad is supposed exhausted (Dead tired At work on Duty to make the money). What you need now is "patience, patience, and patience", "love, love, and love" toward them! You think mother's job is easy? Nay!That is why the father, and children have to take the Mom to a formal dinner on the Mother's Day! Cheer up, please!

Answer 5

Man - not fun. I guess at this point I'd just remove all the objects that would be a hazard - including furniture that he can get on top of and fall off of - and let him sleep wherever he sleeps. Honestly, don't fell guilty - he is just getting crazy over the freedom and having a new sib, and it isn't going to hurt him to sleep on the floor. Eventually the novelty will wear off.

Also make sure he's tired before bedtime, and that you follow rituals to get him to bed - like a bath, brush teeth, into pajamas, lay down next to him and read a book, kiss goodnight, and leave - and follow it every time. In the morning with the room in disaster, make him help you restore the room to the way it should be before he can leave it.

I guess if it were me I would be grateful that he is acting out this way and not after his new sister, despite how frustrating and infuriating this behavior can be.

Answer 6

I know how you feel. We didn't put my oldest in her toddler bed untill she was three. She goes to sleep and stays asleep till 7 am. My second child we had to move to toddler bed earlier because big sis told her it was ok to jump out that she would catch her. So at 7 am both kids would come running to my room. We didn't want her to get hurt by jumping out so we moved her to a toddler bed she is almost two. Now if I don't wake up with them at 7 am which is impossible for me I work nights and I am 28 weeks with another, they will come to my room and I turn on the tv so they can watch cartoons till I get up. Sometimes they do get into things. I just scold them a little and they have gotten better. They pretty much have stopped making most messes.

I have also quit letting them have naps after 12pm. If they take one later on they will not sleep all night. I have also baby proofed my home. I have locks on the fridge, doors, toilet, cabinets, stove knobs. I have moved all butter knives and sharp knives to the very top shelves in my cabinets so they can't get them. This way they don't get hurt and they can't get outside or play in anything bad all they can get into is a few breakables which they know not to touch. Toys and clothes.
Best luck.

Answer 7

It all in the pre-sleep ritual that you instill in your child. If you just feel the day is over and toss the little tyke in his room, then of course this behavior will result. You need to start removing stimulus slowly in the evening ending in some one-on-on time. Whatever you guys like, storytime, reading, etc.
When you have set the expectation and the child understands what is expected then the results will come.

Answer 8

You need to start by giving him a lot of winding down time before bed. I know you mentioned that you take two walks a day and all of that, and that's really giving the opposite effect of what you're going for. Instead of burning that energy, that's winding him up even more. He needs about two hours of chill out time before going to bed. Then, as difficult as it might be, you are going to have to get up and put him back in his bed when he gets out. This is the only way to teach him that he has to stay in his bed. Make sure you tell him every time that he can't get up without permission. Give that a week and I guarantee he will realize that he has to do it. By letting him get up, all you are doing is telling him that he makes his own rules and you have to put your foot down and show him who is boss.

Answer 9

I think he's just wanting attention and when he gets up in the middle of th night and sees your with his siter he wonders why she get your attwention when it's to be bed time.

when i put my 15month old in the room with his older brother when there sis came along he would offten get out and start banging on the door etc.. we eventually put the playpen in there room and we would put him in the big boy bed at first but if he got out he would go into the play pen for 2 nights we had to do this and by the third night he just decied he liked the freedom of the big bed insted of a playpen.

maybe this could work?

Answer 10

Put kitchen cabinet locks on his dresser drawers and desk drawers. If he can't open them, he can't empty them or climb them. Problem solved. It doesn't matter where he falls asleep in his room as long as he falls asleep. Put the night light back in there and if he pulls it out, then it disappears because it's not safe for him to touch it. If you can, get a cabinet for his books or just throw them all in a bin so it's easier to clean them up.