my step daughter is only 13 years old and well she was talking to this boy she met at the movies. well she told me how old he was which is 16. well she told me can i trust you, but i feel like i should tell her dad because everyone knows how some teenage boys are , they only think about 1 thing most of the time , well anyways she will not talk to me .i dont think i did the wrong thing, please tell me opinion is she too young to talk to a 16 yr old boy?? also he doesnt even know her that well and he told her that he loves her.
2007-09-28 03:33:17 · 22 answers · asked by JENN-JENN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she's too young for a 16 year old boy... and yes her father needs to know.
it would be different if the boy were 13 or 14.. but 16? he needs to find a girl his own age.....
2007-09-28 03:36:23 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is absolutely too young to be dating a boy of 16. Three years difference in age is nothing when your older, ex. 20 and 23, but when the person is only 13, thats a big difference. Maturity is a factor and neither are mature yet. I need not say anything about what teenage boys think cause you are well aware. I do not think you done the wrong thing. You were right, looking after her safety. Secerets are great but you should never keep the ones that you feel is dangerous to your child. Kudos for doing the right thing! She will get over it, eventually. Just feel good that you are a good parent!
2007-09-28 03:51:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to have a trusting relationship with your husband, it's not a good idea to have secrets between you and his daughter. Especially if there is a potential for harm to the daughter. If you didn't tell your husband and she ended up pregnant, how would you feel?
Having said that, how well do you know the boy? Just because he's 16 doesn't mean he's up to no good. Yes, boys that age are very much into exploring sex but believe it or not, some 16 year old boys are very respectful. If she wants to talk to him, make a deal with her. Tell her to invite him over to the house to get to know you and her Dad and then give them time alone to get to know each other.
If you flat out forbid her to talk to him, you'll drive her to him. Teach her what she needs to know in terms of honoring herself and making sure he respects her. There are certain danger zones in a relationship of that kind. Make sure she's aware of them. But also make sure she's aware of the fact that you won't keep secrets from your husband on her behalf. Teach her that it's OK to be honest and up front. If she learns that now, you'll have a much easier time of it over the next 6 years.
2007-09-28 04:10:30 · answer #3 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eh, thirteen is a tough age. Not really an adult yet but not a child either. The age difference could definitely be a problem but sometimes you have to give it a little bit of a chance though. I'd say this boy is a little too mature for her but well he said that he loves her when he doesn't seem to know her, that seems pretty juvenile to me. Her asking you to not tell her father is not ok though. She's putting you in a situation you don't want to be in and shouldn't have to be. Yes dad's tend to overreact at the thought of their little girls growing up but if she isn't comfortable telling her day about this boy then they shouldn't be thinking of anything until she can. It sounds like she's not mature enough yet to handle that and that means she can't handle a relationship yet so i think you did the right thing.
2007-09-28 03:44:55 · answer #4 · answered by kiki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you did, but if you told her dad (aka your husband), I think you did the right thing. A 13 year old's dad has a right, a responsibility even to know what boys his daughter is 'talking to'. I, personally, would not want my 8th grade daughter going to the movies with a junior in high school. Keep in mind my perspective as a father of 2 teenage daughters.
2007-09-28 03:41:14 · answer #5 · answered by bigorangefan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that teenagers don't realize fully what falling in love with someone is about. He may love her, but it seems like it's a tad too soon for him to be IN love with her. I don't believe that she's too young to talk to a 16 year old boy but I wouldn't let my daughter of that age (tho I'm still a few years away) talk to boys over 17.
2007-09-28 03:46:51 · answer #6 · answered by Jayna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. You are a parent, not a friend. You need to keep your step daughter safe and it sounds like you know that her talking to a 16 year old is not a good idea (which it isn't). Just stick to your guns - she will thank you when she is older.
2007-09-28 04:31:20 · answer #7 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a step parent is always difficult but you should never keep secrets for her. It will undermine your relationship and she needs to know that you two are united in parenting. The age difference is too big at that age 13 is too young for a 16 year old male who really is driven by his hormones.
2007-09-28 03:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by Sheri F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she might be young to talk to a 16 year old boy , give her time... there is a saying that the more you push the more they want to do the bad.
give her time, let her experience some hardships in life, dont shelter her from this..... if she expeirnce her first heartache then bit it. this will just make her stronger to face another battle in life.
just be there for her when she needs someone to talk to. and explain to her on what you just did is to her is that you love, and concern .
2007-09-28 06:49:02 · answer #9 · answered by huggy_lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing because you love her. She is too young to be hanging out with a 16 year old. Later in life she will realize that you did with love and she will forgive you.
2007-09-28 03:39:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋