I got engage with my boyfriend almost 5 months . my dad doesn't know about my engagement . but he dosen't agree with me being with someone out of my race . what do i do . I love my husband to be so much . but i also love my dad . help .
2007-09-28 03:29:31 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Listen to dad. He is smarter than you think. If it were just race he would get past it if the guy was worth it. Ask him what else besides race bothers him and you may see what he is seeing.
2007-09-28 03:33:36 · answer #1 · answered by Michael 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If it is just his race he does not like perhaps he will come around in time to see all the wonderful things you see in him. It may take time.. If it is more to it than that, like he does not think he treats you well etc...well that is different.
I was engaged once before my husband. The look on my Dad's face said it all. He did not have to say a word.
I had never disappointed him so much in my life. I stayed engaged for a little time after and realized myself that marriage would not change the fact he was the wrong man. He did not love me the way the man you marry should. Dare I say Dad was right?. He was.
Good luck
2007-09-28 03:38:53 · answer #2 · answered by Woman in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I know that you love your dad,but you also love your
Boyfriend/Fiance too.I think everyone argues with their Parent to some degree about different stuff,But when it comes to racial issues,It is hard to find a happy medium with the people that you love.
Some parents think they know what is best for children,Reality is;Sometimes they do;Sometimes they don't.When you turn 18 yrs of age,you have your own set of rights;You can vote,get married,consent to sex,and so much more,You become an adult=You take control of your life!
It seems as if you just want everybody to be happy,I would want that too,But there comes a point in life where you have to agree to disagree,But it doesn't mean you have to stop loving your dad.
If this is a marriage that can REALLY work,Then it just does not matter what anyone else thinks.
It's a two-person marriage,For three is a crowd!
I really hope that you can find a happy medium with your dad,You certainly deserve to be happy,and he should let you.
2007-09-28 04:19:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Luck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your name on this site states to me that you are definitely not away from your fathers advice and protection. He knows you well and may foresee some problems in the future. If you are old enough ( and by that I mean financially stable) to get married you must make the decision to move forward , tell him that you are engaged and be mature about it. I always write on this site that ' You will never regret waiting until age 30 to get married' and I feel that is true from seeing all the divorce and heartache out there. Whatever happens I wish you the very best
2007-09-28 04:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, tell your dad your engaged. The longer you wait the worse the fallout will be. Second tell you dad you love him and that you want him to be a part of your life and the lives of any future grandchildren. Acknowledge his feelings "I know you don't agree with ________ (fill in the blank) Assert your adult hood, "but I am a grownup and have made this decision for myself." Tell him you hope that this doesn't come between you two and that you want him to be able to share in your joy.
Your next move is based on his reaction. Luckily he will realize that having you and your children in his life is more important than his racism. If he is unmoving then it looks like you have to make a choice between the two.
2007-09-28 03:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by L H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u need to tell ur dad, that he is putting u in a situation where u have to choose between ur man & ur dad!! tell him how u feel, and u need to kinda scare ur dad..u dont have to mean it, just say " dad i dont wanna hurt u or leave u, but i really love this man, and if i have to i will do anything to be with him"..after that ur dad is gonna so not let u go anywhere, and he is gonna say " honey i didnt know its bothering u like that, well if ur happy, i am happy for u"...but then he might react mad & disappointed about that & even kicks u out....but after while, i dont give him no 5 months, he is gonna want u back...because ur just daddy's little girl...no matter how old u r...and in his days things were different..u were the perfect person if u date in ur own race...well daddy need to realize that we r in 2007 now, and things have changed!!
2007-09-28 04:18:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who has to be with him not your dad. Your dad will come around if he sees the guy is treating you right and making you happy. If his daughter is happy then the race shouldn't matter. Are you sure that's the only problem your dad has with him?
2007-09-28 03:48:41 · answer #7 · answered by shellshell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your father that u are and adult and it's your life u are allow to make decision some good some bad he cant protect u forever and u have to grow up. unless there is soemthing in your BF past that he does not like if it's just a race thing u cant do anything about it as long as he is good to u race does not matter.
2007-09-28 03:35:48 · answer #8 · answered by GRUNT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to tell your dad that you got engaged. Hopefully he can put aside his differences and see how happy you are with your future husband.
2007-09-28 03:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by Jayna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband did not have been given to my father to get "permission" to marry me. My husband approached the two my parents out or understand and advised them his intentions to inquire from me. The custom is previous, specific, in spite of the shown fact that that is nevertheless respectful. that is replaced a lot, nonetheless. that is now not asking permission, that is greater allowing them to comprehend. I, individually, think of that is candy. i does not have needed it any incorrect way. yet, to each and each his own. in case you sense that is not acceptable for you, you are able to desire to tell your boyfriend/better half which you go with he does not try this. i'm specific he will understand your needs.
2016-12-17 12:08:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as it's usually the case for father to be protective of their daughter.
was it only because your fiance is out of your race or maybe there are other reasons your father can see in your man that you can't and your father can 't say to you? communicate with your dad and ask why he objects to your fiance.
fathers will always think the best for their daughter. as they say, you can have 2 or more husbands in life but, just one father.
2007-09-28 05:09:32 · answer #11 · answered by leandra x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋