How do you correct another person without starting an argument?

Question

I have a tendancy to get into tit for tat arguments I dont want to be in. For example to use a trivial instance, today at work we were talking about winning the lottery and what we would do with the money. Others were saying fairly small scale things such as 'buy a car'. I said I would like to win 20 million - causing a workmate to say she would prefer 20 people to get a million each. I said I would give 19 people a million each out of my 20, to wich a guy said 'I really doubt that'. I thought that comment was a little insulting and didnt want to let it pass, so said something - he said something to top it - putting me in the position of eating it, or escalating a silly argument. How do others disagree and defend themselves without this happening?

Answer 1

try to find a humorous way to deflate the situation.

After he says, "I doubt that," smilingly reply, "Oh yeah? Well give me your winning ticket and I'll prove it!"

whenever it gets into one-upsmanship, you can look for a way to ground it, even if it means poking light fun at yourself.

Answer 2

The way to avoid an argument is to not get into one.

Since there's no way to prove what your behavior would be in this hypothetical situation, I would have responded, "Well, you may be right but if I did win the lottery you certainly wouldn't be one of the 19 people I'd give a million dollars to for just insulting me like that."

And then walk away.

Answer 3

You just have to look at them and understand that most people are that greedy and believe that everyone else is just like them. He knows HE wouldn't share, so he's going to badger anyone that says they would because it makes him feel as selfish as he is. Why would he want to feel that selfish? He doesn't; so it's your fault for being a better person and that requires an unwarranted argument. Other people will always start petty arguments with anyone that has the gaul to be better than they are. It's not a reflection of you it's a reflection of them.
Unfortunately, I learned that the only real way to avoid petty arguments is to limit my contribution of thoughts on a subject. Because you come to understand the people you work with and you know what to expect from them in conversation. You can't be honest with them. You have to keep it short and actually lying works out better. Try it sometime - give a complete lie (but not unbelievable) the next time you have a "what if" conversation, you'll see that the majority will agree with you. It proves what they are.
People don't want to work, they want to waste money especially if its there to be wasted. Since they are not better than anyone else they are just petty buttholes, they need 20 million dollars to tell them that they ARE better than anyone else. Take a look at L.A. are those people better than anyone else? They're trash with money and we all know it. Pamela Anderson, Brittany Spears and Tupac are a joke in my book. It takes class and care to be a better person.

Answer 4

In a situation like that, I politely state something along the lines of "Well I would like to try to do something nice for the people I care about." and if he comes back with another attitude comment then I generally would say something like " Well maybe your right, but I would still do my best to share my winnings, but that's what I would want to do. You can do whatever you want." But for smartypants that just have to have the last word or attitude I say "You must be right." and simply walk away.

Answer 5

Being rude in response to rudeness is never ok. When Doubting Guy says something offensive, just say, "Sorry you feel that way." Then you come off looking like a classy guy whose buttons cannot be pushed, and Doubting Guy looks like a jerk.

Answer 6

I have experienced this before. I've learned that getting into such hypothetical discussions is really a waste of time and it does ruffle my feathers. So don't get involved in loose tallk.

Answer 7

as dale carnegie once said, "the best way to win an arguement is to avoid one."

or

u could simply say, "becoz u dont know the real me."

Answer 8

The next time something like that happens, just smile and say, "really ...I don't have time for ignorant arguments today...I have better things to do with my time. If you want to have a real conversation with me, just let me know."

Answer 9

Learn when to shut your mouth. Pick your battles wisely, that wasn't a very good battle, you should have just let it pass.

Answer 10

you don't it's just some folk's are impossible to be around they will constantly criticize or argue just to get a power trip.
rise above it and laugh at them it's all they deserve