military wives...how do you handle long deployments?

Question

my husband is getting ready to deploy yet again..and i'm wondering how everyone handles these deployments...

Answer 1

I keep busy. I have two small boys, and they are my top priority AT HOME. They keep me very busy, from clothing and feeding, to taking them to preschool and spending time with them.

As far as my husband is concerned we stay in contact as much as possible. If he can get online, I make sure I'm available as well. We talk through the headset and we both have webcams so the kids can see him and he can see us...it's a HUGE help.

Also he calls home often, and THAT really helps out, so much.

When that's not going on I write him letters, and make him packages, it fills a void and makes me feel like I'm doing something useful for him. Not only for his morale, but to let him know we are ALWAYS thinking of him and love him.

Then I have a few very good close friends, and most have went through this, or are going through it right now. That's a huge help. Knowing you have someone you can lean on when you need it, someone to help you out when you need it...that's a huge help.

I don't have family close to me, but I call them often as well.

Answer 2

I'm an infantry wife as well. I move to my hometown during deployments and spend time with my parents and in-laws. Since you may not do that, maybe see if a friend can come visit one weekend, or go visit them some. I volunteer, catch up with my non-military friends, and I always have a job for me when I'm there. Plus I have a 2 1/2 year old son who keeps me pretty busy. I write my husband an e-mail almost every night, nothing too long, just letting him know what's going on and that I miss him. I also love putting together the care packages for him and writing him letters. Just stay busy, there are plenty of us wives out there who try to figure out how we're going to make the time go by during deployments, and we always find a way.

Answer 3

While I am the one who is deployed, it is still really hard being away from my husband and my daughter. If you have what it takes to stand by his side while he is doing possibly the most honorable job in our country, than you have courage that most wives of the military do not have. The divorce/cheat rate in the military is rediculous, but you just have to trust each other and say to yourself that you can get through it. In the end when he retires, he will be thanking YOU for everything you do at home, and always being there for him.. It means so much to ME when I hear about military families that make it through the 20 or 30 years that their husband, wife, mom, or dad is in the military, cause it really is hard. This is the first time we have been apart since we got married, and it is realyl hard, but he understands why I have to be over here and he supports me, tahts what is going to get us through this.

Answer 4

Let me try to answer this from the husband's prespective. One who observed his wife's struggles during my near 30 year service, many years seeing my being gone TDY 10 months of the year followed by 1 year remote tours.

My loving wife got involved. First, she found a parttime job to not only help with the household, but to interact with people. Second, she joined volunteer operations supporting families of those deployed and organizations sending support to our troops overseas. NMFA is one good one (http://www.nmfa.org/), but there are countless local ones. Ask your Chaplain or local Red Cross. National ones like NMFA can be found by Googling "military volunteer organizations".

I know that without my wife's involvement outside the home, it would have been very difficult if not impossible for her to have stayed with me all these years. The pressures upon the spouse and children are tremendous, but survival through that period leads to an unbelievable strong marriage.

One other thing I found that really helped her was putting together "special" packages and videos and letters and cards sent to me as I served our country.

You are the most integral part of your husband's career. He cannot do his job effectively and safely if he is worrying about you. Your strong support will ensure his safe return to loving arms.

Thank you for being a military spouse. You, too, are a hero.

God Bless America and our heroes around the world.

Answer 5

I just try to keep busy. With a little one at home it's not hard to do. Friends are the key to keeping your sanity though. You have to have someone to lean on emotionally. I'm going through deployment right now. Best of luck to you and yours. I wish your SO a safe and speedy deployment.

Answer 6

we too are getting ready for another deployment. during the first one he was infantry/sniper and it was very hard for us to communicate with him working and always being busy. so i wrote letters constantly and sent lots of packages and kept as busy as possible. I got involved in our FRG (be careful though, I was lucky and got a good FRG, many are just gossip forums) I went to school full-time and also worked 2 jobs. This time around he has a different job now, and so I'm really not sure what to expect, but I will keep going to school full time and hopefully work too. I just always try to stay busy during deployments and keep the communication going so that we are both not feeling alone. I also like to volunteer here in our army post with gold star families or work at the Fisher house or even volunteer at the hospitals, when your hubby is gone, its always comforting for me to see the soldiers in their uniforms, and I can feel like I'm really helping those soldiers and families in need. take good care of each other, thank you both for your service and sacrifices.

Answer 7

By NOT putting my life on hold. I still do everything I did when he is home, and that includes NOT waiting by the phone all day for it to ring, or never leaving the house in case he might have a chance to get on line for five minutes.

Answer 8

My daughter is in Iraq and found out that her husband wants a divorce. I feel sorry for them the 15 month deployment adds unneeded stress to them.

Answer 9

I write to him everyday. I keep my own journal as well. I also do a video journal for him so he can see his son growing up.
There are lots of support groups as well. You can also check up www.militaryonesource.com they have lots of information for the spouses.
You might want to get involved in a hobby or try going to school or something to keep your mind busy.
I know it is hard but that what works for me. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

well i haven't seen my fiance in 2 years.... As long as you just keep faith everything will be fine. I held on and now he's coming back in a month for good and getting out for good.