My dad, 70, was just diagnosed with Liver cancer and is given 3 months more. He enjoyed life (perhaps too much) and I always dreaded this day, and now it is here. I am the eldest and he is always looking for me now, though my sibs have made the travel home. I have finally organized the trip ( I just had a beautiful daughter born 2 weeks ago) and I am expected to tell him that he has not much time left. We all love dad, inspite of his stubborness and unhealthy lifestyle ("those who are not prepared to die are not fit to live" is a favorite saying of his) Im sure dad seeing my newborn daughter would make him so happy. Another question, I am looking forward... is would he welcome hospice care (if available?)
2007-09-28 02:42:25 · 6 answers · asked by Francis D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sorry you are going through this, my mother passed Oct 20,2006 from lung cancer. I am an only child with a husband, 3 sons and 1 grandson. We found out mom was terminal in January, by then she was living with us. Those were the best, most painful 10 months of my life. We all have very special memories of those months and when we miss mom we talk about them and we can laugh. I wanted to do everything for my mom, but in June we met with Hospice, they are Angels. They took over her care but only the bathes, and her meds, I was still her primary care giver. As her condition got worse they were there more, they will support not only your dad but you and your family. The day my mom passed I called her RN, because mom hadn't eaten anything in about a week so I was very worried, she was scheduled to come on Monday but said she would come to see me within the hour. She took one look at mom and said " She's going to go home today or tomorrow" I collasped and she held me. They stayed with me as long as I needed. When she passed I called them and they took care of everything. It's been almost a year and I still get phone calls and a monthly newsletter. God Bless you and your family.
2007-09-28 03:10:39 · answer #1 · answered by Married Lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi... i'm sorry to hear about your dad and i understand what it's like to have a terminally ill parent. my mother died of complications from pancreatic cancer.
I have listed the Hospice website.. it gives a lot of information and how-to's for family members.. and it's a very touching, caring site.
Your father's doctor can get hospice to come into the home. They can make sure he's comfortable and answer any questions his caretaker(s) may have. And, if a nurse is needed to come to the home at any time, day or night, they will be there. They are WONDERFUL! I can't say enough good things about Hospice.
Hospice provides nursing care, of course, and if you think your father would like a volunteer to come in once or twice a week to sit with him and talk, well, they have that service available as well.
Yes i think your dad would enjoy seeing the baby too... take care of You also... hugs
2007-09-28 09:50:03 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for you all. This is very hard. I'm glad he will see you and your little daughter before he does.
I can only tell you how my mil faced it last year. She never wanted to be a problem, hated the fuss. Never even told us when she was in pain, poor thing. But she also didn't want to be told what her outcome was. She knew about the cancer, lived to see her children and grandchildren, was grateful for our help, and for my kindness, she said. She was a very dignified lady, which I tried to remember. We left her to die in peace when we found out that we were causing her distress - she was that kind of person. Hated to feel she was upsetting us.
The best person to talk to would be your father. If he is ready to communicate, allow him to take the lead.
By the way, my fil was a nightmare. He refused to go into care, but then hehad a different complaint. And he was prepared to allow my mil to wait on him hand on foot, even though she was diagnosed with cancer.
So good luck, listen to your father, and take his lead. And all my best wishes.
2007-09-28 09:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your dad...my friend just went through this. Remember to take lots and lots of pictures. You will want to look back when he goes. Don't worry about his past...what's done is done. Be there for him, get along with the family, take lots of pictures. Hospice care is a fine idea...that is also what my friend did. It will help with any pain. When my friends father was diagnosed with bone cancer, they gave him 6 months to live...he lived almost two years.
2007-09-28 09:47:29 · answer #4 · answered by CC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad was diagnosed with the same thing after years of drinking...He relied heavily on my brother, because he loved and trusted him more than anyone., we made the choice not to tell him because we felt he would just give up on life....let him have quality time with his new grandaughter, make his last few months count . let him enjoy what quality of life he has left.....
2007-09-28 10:08:45 · answer #5 · answered by belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One question??? Why do you have to tell him he has not much time left. That should be up to his Doctor.
2007-09-28 09:48:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋