Ok here it is. I was dating this guy well kinda well. I didn't know he had a girlfriend until we had already moved to the next level so you know i felt bad. and i felt even worse when she didnt know because i am a christian and well yea. you know that is adultury and well yea and then i told her last night right well i was thinking i should have just kept my mouth shut. But i dont know did i do the right thing or not? Because I feel good but bad that I told his girlfriend me and him had something going on!!!!!!
2007-09-28 02:29:28 · 31 answers · asked by ¤мαяînзz Gîяℓ¤ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you shouldn't feel bad. the person at fault is the guy not you. he's the one that was cheating on his girlfriend. as for you speaking up, well that really should've been done w/the guy and not her. he's the one whose done both of you wrong. so, he really should be dropped and fast. if he did this to her what makes you think he won't do that to you?? don't make excuses for him either, if he was having any kind of relationship problems then he should've ended it with her first and then started something with you. as for the adultery issue, that's only when you're married. you've only committed adultery when your married or the other person is married and you would have to know that to begin with.
2007-09-28 02:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by kim girl05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did right, because honesty is always the better policy no matter how awkward and unsettling it may be. (Just FYI: adultery would only apply if he was married). Deceit thrives in the darkness of secrecy....openness shines light into a given situation and frees you up in the process. Now, on to the part of your question that addresses whether you should feel bad or not... Telling the truth doesn't override the cause and effect relationship of events put into motion by our actions. There is still a consequence, and on that basis you might feel a twinge of remorse during this period, but it's a safe bet you'd wind up feeling a lot worse a lot longer had the situation been accompanied by a lie...a lie which you would feel obligated to keep a secret by use of....you guessed it, more lies. So, nicely done. (It could easily have been much worse).
2007-09-28 10:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he's not married it's not adultery. You sound pretty young, so I'm not sure what you mean by "the next level", but it's pretty funny that you would say that and then in the next breath call yourself a Christian (& yes you should know to capatilize it)
Anyways, What exactly do you feel bad about? Helping this guy cheat or telling on him. Either way, I don't think you have much to feel bad for. You didn't know he had a girl.
2007-09-28 09:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by Jess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you expect her to react - how would you react if the situation were reversed? If someone came up to you and announced she was seeing your man, what would you think?
No, you did not do the right thing - what you should have done, is dump the two timing jerk and moved on. It was not your place to say anything, but asking her questions that would have made her think would have been OK.... next time, consider how you would feel about something before you open your mouth.
2007-09-28 09:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think that you did the right thing coz it's been the guy who has been eating in two plates! And why should woman always be blamed-you're not a harlot, and as a Christian you've done your duty by tellin her what was going on coz she too did have the right to know!
2007-09-28 09:39:05 · answer #5 · answered by (-_-) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll give you that you didnt know that he had a girlfriend, kudos to you for telling her of the piece of **** she has for a boyfriend. You shouldnt feel guilty for telling her what he shouldve fessed up. As long as you end this you should be a-ok. Besides why would you want a man that lied to you about having a girlfriend, wasnt honest to her and obviously to you, and was taken and now you know. He'll reap what he sows, and stop feeling guilty about something you didnt know about, if you knew this would be a whole nother story.
2007-09-28 09:36:42 · answer #6 · answered by Queen of the Scene 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did do the right thing I went through the same thing and I told the girl. Its better that she is aware of what kind of looser she's dealing with. You would want some one to tell you if you were in her shoes.
2007-09-28 09:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by Jewel 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that you did the right thing by telling her. It's kind of like you were confessing your sins even though you weren't aware at the time that you were committing them. If you didn't tell her then he would probably do it again with someone else and you would have just enabled him to do that.
2007-09-28 09:32:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. She deserves to know that he cheated on her. Sure its going to hurt, but isn't it better to know the truth then to live a lie?
Good for you for having the courage to do the right thing.
2007-09-28 09:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by Reiki Chick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you did the right thing. imagine if no one had told her how she would have felt!! i think it's very big of you to come forward and tell her, even if it messes up both relationships with him, he doesn't deserve a girlfriend if he can't be honest.
2007-09-28 09:32:57 · answer #10 · answered by cafeene_rush21 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋