Why would a woman tell me "I hope I find someone just like you" and then go out with someone nothing like me? Can someone please explain why girls say they want a nice guy, when it is clear to the rest of the world that is not what they want?
2007-09-28 01:59:20 · 14 answers · asked by Brian T 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
They either feel bad for you because you're actually a loser, or they're really stupid. Not all woman are like this. Men can be this way too.
2007-09-28 02:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy! This is a tough one. I will do my best to explain. So many things factor into the reason why women do that. Fact is, they do it. It could be that she is not attracted to you physically, and she can not see any further. Women often say they just want a nice guy who will be good to them, who will work, who likes the same things they do, who is fun, and who is manly but not macho. Most women do not realize it, but they tend to look for a man who is all of those things as well as someone they have to work hard to get. The hard to get part is the part that gets left out. Some women don't even have a clue what kind of man they are looking for. Especially if she did not have a father figure in her life that she can use as an example. Often times, a woman will date a man thinking he is everything she wants yet there is something lacking in the formula. This will lead to her finding someone else regardless of what she has promised the man she is with. I have a friend, who is the nicest man you would ever want to meet. He is a good husband, good provider, with great morals, and genuinely caring. However, his wife, who is also my friend, has left him. While he was all those things, he would cower down when she felt he should be strong. He would let her run the show even though he was not happy with the way she did things which in the end led them to bankruptcy. She would talk down to him, which belittled him. Yet he loved her so much he was willing to put up with it no matter what. He would have died for her, his love was so strong. Now that is love, but she did not see him as a strong man. She took his love for weakness. In the end they are divorcing, they lost everything they had, and she is with another man now. This man will not marry her, he will not help her with her needs, they spend very little time together, yet she is in love with him to the soul. Does not make since, but that is the way it is. He knows exactly what he wants, how he wants it, and he will not allow her to dictate to him anything different. He makes her work for his affections. He will not sway. Now, if the her exhusband would have been like that plus all the other things, she would still be wiht him. It's kind of like the same with men. They do not want a woman who calls them all the time, shows up at the door without being invited, wants to hang on him all the time, or who will go to bed with them right away. Men like the chase. Basically, it shows your stammana. It makes you earn a respect that is not there when things are so easy.
2007-09-28 09:30:16 · answer #2 · answered by ktmazer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be any number of reasons, hun. Could be her familial ties, could be her religious beliefs, could be that her physical/mental preferences are more in sync with guy she chose over you, etc. Maybe they just didn't feel a connection with you. It really, really sucks, I know. But seriously, don't lose hope. It may kind of feel like a lost cause to just hope but when you least expect it, she'll come knocking on your door - the right person, I mean. I'm dying to meet a nice guy around my area but there's always something that screws that up so I guess I could say the same for you. Good luck.
ETA: My answer was a little ambiguous. Ummm, OK. I rethought it. Niceness is a quality, not a being. If you don't let people step over you all the time, then you're on the right track. If women see that you let people step over you all the time, then that may be a problem. I think if that's even the situation, you've got to take a handle on how the 'stepping over you' process works.
2007-09-28 09:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by Θ Chez Θ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think people need someone who's a nice mixture of both "nice guy" and "bad boy". "Nice guy" traits include loyalty, compassion, thoughtfulness. "Bad boy" traits include having ambition/motivation, passion, courage - not being afraid to try new experiences.
Unfortunately, from my experience, my "nice guys" have also ended up being "wimpy guys" who end up being more like insecure children than a strong man, or a strong person in general. But then "bad boys" who are more independent, courageous, passionate, also often endup being inconsiderate assholes.
It's hard to find someone who's a nice balance of both - the best of both worlds.
Of course these are just generalizations, stereotypes. I don't mean to say that you are one way or another because I don't know you.
2007-09-28 09:05:03 · answer #4 · answered by Katie C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a woman wants and what they go for are always different. The guy they dream about having is usually put aside when an asshole with a nice body comes around...that's the way it usually works
2007-09-28 09:04:19 · answer #5 · answered by sakrificetheory 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason or another, most women are attracted to "bad boys." I guess it has something to do with the 'danger and adventure' thrill. I, for one, am guilty of this. But let me put your heart at ease. We may date, or 'go for' the bad boy, but in the end, we all want to settle down with the 'nice guy'. Hope this helps! Good luck!
2007-09-28 09:04:02 · answer #6 · answered by MayMay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because nice guys are boring.. women want someone who listens and supports them but they also want a man with a spine and the courage to take charge and have a mind of their own also.
2007-09-28 09:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by Tyler S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she should've chosen her words more carefully. She probably likes a lot of your qualities. Unfortunately for both sexes we don't have complete control over who we are physically attracted to. She probably hopes to find someone she is attracted to physically with your good character traits & qualities.
2007-09-28 09:07:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they dont want some one to nice they want someone who is under standing and will stick up for them and not always let there graud down
2007-09-28 09:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by Erica Maire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe coz u think they stink they dont want to be with you
2007-09-28 09:03:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋