Should I let go and if so, how do you let go? This girl and I have been together for about 11 Months and known each other for about a year. We are both in our mid 20s and love each other very much. About a year ago, before we started dating but when we were still “talking” I “cheated”. I lied about the whole incident until last month. Ever since then she have been running around meeting guys, getting numbers and God know what else. She claims that she’s not sleeping with any of these guys, I believe her, even though her best friend thinks she is sleeping with other men. She CONSTANTLY lies and I know this for a fact, her stories and activities constantly change for one minute to the next but I still can’t let her go… I love her too much but every time we talk, there seems to be someone new. I have no problem with her having friends, but I can’t trust her… What do I do?
When I say she meets guys, she met this guy at a club on Saturday night who is supposed to be helping her get a job. On Monday he is over her house getting her resume because (she claims) he lived close by, he couldn’t open her email for some reason and the deadline for the job was coming up… She claims nothing happened, they weren’t alone so that’s all possible but when she told me the story, she NEVER mentioned the guy coming in, she said he stayed outside. Her friend had to tell me he came inside…
2007-09-28 01:14:29 · 25 answers · asked by beau0021 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My slip happened in November 2006; she and I liked each other but were NOT dating nor in love. Now that we are together and in love... That guy she met and then went to her house, happend LAST weekend.
2007-09-28 01:28:43 · update #1
Let her go.. Liars are bad news ! They never change.
2007-09-28 01:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing, you should have told her the truth. If you and her were just talking, you weren't dating, and what you call cheating, was not cheating, since you and her weren't together. Talking is not a relationship, going on dates is, but even then, if it was just casual dating, its not really a relationship, because many guys and girls go on many dates with people, just to keep options open. If you and her agreed you wouldn't see other people, then that would be cheating.
If you and her weren't seeing just each other, then it wasn't cheating and telling her shouldn't have mattered.
With that out of the way, what she is doing is seeking revenge on you. She is playing the field, and you are letting her. If she is going to clubs and getting guys numbers, then she is looking for someone new. Even if she just wants to "cheat" on you, she is wanting to do it with more than one guy. If she is lying to you, then that is wrong too.
There is nothing wrong with having guy friends, but you should at least meet them. If you don't, then I wouldn't trust her or them either.
She saying they weren't alone, the roommate would lie for her. They could have went to her room, did whatever, when the roommate was in her room or even not at home.
To be honest, I wouldn't trust her anymore, and without trust, there is no relationship. If she can't forgive you for "cheating" on her, then that is her problem, but going around and being all slutty is not the way to continue a relationship with her.
2007-09-28 08:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by George P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this is her way of acting out with the news you cheated. However, that was in the beginning before you were even serious and her behavior is still continuing.
I would simply tell her that, while you understand that she lashed out because of this information, that truly was before you two were ever serious or committed to each other. If she really wants to keep the relationship going, this behavior with other men needs to stop otherwise you are moving on.
(And I hate to tell you, if she had nothing to hide, she would have told you the guy came into the house. Why not be honest if there really was nothing to tell?)
Also, I may be a little old fashioned, but what is she doing at a club on a Saturday night talking to guys without you?
It sounds like to me that you should move on but go ahead and talk to her and give her the chance to express her feelings.
Good Luck.
2007-09-28 08:23:56 · answer #3 · answered by tinyavenger 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she was never like this before, it sounds like she is trying to get back at you. I take it that you have not did anything like that since? If not and she knows that then she is just having trouble letting what you did go. I would have a serious talk with her. If she can't move on and forgive you for what you did, and in turn you would have to let go of everything she has done since, then I would split with her. My reasoning is that if ya'll can't get past this then ya'll will never trust each other and constantly fight about these same things. Good luck with it.
2007-09-28 08:20:46 · answer #4 · answered by ~Kayla S~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she took to taking numbers that quick she was looking for a way out anyway and she is using your confession as an escape goat to put it all on you. If she isn't willing to stop the things she is doing then she didn't want to be in the relationship and you gave her a cop out instead of just being honest with you. Good luck i wont say leave or stay but if you have to ask that question in the first place you should already know the answer....
2007-09-28 08:21:23 · answer #5 · answered by nobody special 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey, when she mentions these guys, does she mention their name, specifically?
When I started dating my now boyfriend, he taught me about that. Its funny, because its true. Before I started dating him , I was seeing other guys and I might say...."I'm going to a friend's house". He'd always say, what guy is it? Not in a jealous way....but he had my number. If its truly a friend, we will (men and women) specifically mention their names.
It sounds like you two need to have a conversational pow-wow. Like seriously....sit down and try to talk this out, and see what both of your intentions are. Nobody deserves to be lied to, and if you love someone enough, you should not lie to them.
If she would like to continue meeting random men and not introduce you then I would assume she is not committed to your relationship. You don't deserve that, either. Friends are one thing.......more than one relationship is a completely different story!
2007-09-28 08:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by keo31204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stated that you were just talking to her when you had this one night stand, so whats the problem. Personally I would have appreciated your honesty, now that you have moved on in the relationship She has played herself and now is acting like a child or more like a harlot, and can't be trusted. MOVE on there is a woman out there that will appreciate your honesty and will make you a good woman. RUN while you still can cause if this relationship continues there will all be doubt and trouble
2007-09-28 08:27:10 · answer #7 · answered by LovelyChoc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She CONSTANTLY lies and I know this for a fact....
.but I can’t trust her…
These were your own words.
My friend, It is easy to love another human being but in order to have a REAL and LASTING relationship with someone there must be trust!
Without trust and respect ( which means not lying to your partner) There can be no relationship.
Honestly if you look within yourself I think you already know the answer to your question
2007-09-28 08:23:57 · answer #8 · answered by That_ blue_ eyed_ Irish_ lass 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pretend you're somebody else and read your question again. What would you advise somebody else in your situation to do? I think the answer is obvious.
Also, if you guys were just "talking" or even dating, it's not cheating unless you had made a commitment to each other or you led purposefully led her to believe you guys were in an exclusive relationship.
2007-09-28 08:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by H M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
simple the only thing u can do is let her go she obviously causin too much stress so leave her be let her carry on ruinin her life etc gettin herself a bad name n u get out before your head gets f****d up u say u love her but u will do better by bein down for a couple weeks/months then many more months of lies deceipt stress n god knows wat else stay kool n good luck in wateva u choose to do x
2007-09-28 08:39:05 · answer #10 · answered by angeleyz_fkc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be blunt, but you started it. I would act the same way (and I did when my ex got caught) your girlfriend is. I used to put party clothes on, turn around, peel them off and let them land on the floor as they wished to just to make my ex think I was in a bar when he was at work. The whole truth is, I never left the house. I think if you want this to stop, you have to say to her, "okay, it's over". One of you has to move out of the home and it should be you. Watch and see what happens then.
2007-09-28 08:20:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋