My BF may have flashed my sister? Dont know if it was intentional? How to find out?

Question

My sister (15) came to me yesterday and complained the my BF has flashed her. She said that they were chatting in my room and BF said he wanted to change his boxers. Assuming that he will go to the next room, my sister stayed put. BF wrapped a towel arnd his waist and changed there. During changing, he dropped the towel a few seconds before the shorts were up - and so flashed my sister his penis. My sister says it was erect. Even after he changed, she could clearly see a 'tent' there.

My BF has a different version. He says when my sister did not leave the room after the 'hint' - he went ahead and changed with a towel. He says that he is not aware if she saw his penis or not and doesnt remember if it was erect. He denies everything.

Who do i trust?

Is my sister lying? May be she's jealous of me having a dude like my BF? Mey be she wants me to fight with him?

Or did my BF expose himself to my sis and is now making a story up?

My BF has never shown any signs of liking my sis. But he is quite unashamed of his nudity and free natured - being in a football team and all. He usually goes commando and is quite proud of his size. But not a exhibitionist by any means.

I and my sis are like any sisters - we fight and we make up.....almost everyday.

My BF always wears his boxers as shorts...so he wasnt wearing/changing his underwear...he was changing from his boxers to trousers as he was about to go out to the supermarket.

Answer 1

BIG RED FLASHING SIGN: DANGER!

Why did your boyfriend need to change in front of your sister? Why couldn't he go into a bathroom? If he was comfortable enough to change in front of her, why wasn't he comfortable enough to tell her directly to go out while he changed instead of just giving her a "hint". And he says he doesn't REMEMBER?? If it was erect??? And why was he facing her, anyway??

Please!! If you believe him, you are in major denial, and your little sister is in danger. You need to face the truth and stop trying to make excuses about him and trying to justify his actions. There is NO justification. He is older and he KNOWS that even changing in the same room with a younger girl who is his girlfriend's sister, is inappropriate behaviour. Don't try to justify it by saying he's comfortable with his body etc. Would he have done the same thing if it had been your mother in the room?

In fact, what he has done is beyond inappropriate behaviour. It is Child Sexual Abuse, and by not believing your sister, you are causing her more emotional damage than she's already had.

Child molesters can be very good at concealing and disguising their behaviour and motives, and one of the most common ways they do this is by being really nice guys who gain the trust of the family.

Your sister has a lot of courage to come and tell you what happened. Please do keep this man away from her - and away from yourself .. do you really want to go out with a man who is sexually attracted to children? I dread to think what he will do with his own children one day.

Also, please take your sister to see a counselor who has experience with child abuse issues, as this experience would have affected her psychologically in some way. And also keep in mind that this may not have been the first or only incident. Telling her to forget about it or pretending that it never happened, is going to cause worse harm. Of course, that is what most people do .. and that is why I set up Askios .. for the kids who were told to forget about it and keep quiet and no-one-will-marry-you-if-you-tell, and so they have to wait until they are adults and finally have to take care of themselves to heal the emotional wounds that their family should have taken care of years ago ..

Please visit my website, it has a lot of information on how to deal with these things, and especially please read the section on General Information on CSA and read the section about abusers and their tactics.

And one last time, just to make it clear:

It is Child Sexual Abuse.
Your boyfriend is a child sex offender.
Your sister has been sexually abused.

Answer 2

Well....why would it suddenly be necessary that in the middle of a conversation (with a 15 year old no less) that you would suddenly and inexplicitly find the neeed to change your underwear?

Sounds pretty damns strange and lets face it. I don't know about any other men out there but I don't achieve and erection by talking to a 15 years old nor to I find it necessary to get out of my underwear when I do. Especially in the presence of a 15 year old.

What I find interesting is you say "Maybe my sister is jealous of me having a 'dude' like my boyfriend". You don't find this strange that he decides to pull off his drawers in front of her and she stays in the room after being given a 'hint'?

Come on. Are you that dumb? What was the matter with the bathroom? Couldn't change there? Couldn't say to the 15 year old she needed to leave the room? He can't remember if he was erect or not?

Bah! They're playing around. Only one reason why a guy needs to change his underwear and has a hard on. Maybe alittle seminal discharge? maybe she helped him with this problem? Who knows. In any case...you're none too swift for having a boyfriend who fails to exercise common sense. Let alone a sister who fails to do the same.

Answer 3

Just keep quiet, you don't want to stir something up when it could have very possibly been a mistake, I am sure that if you tell her, she wouldn't see it as so. Then in the end, you would be the bad guy, for no reason. I know it makes you feel bad and like you are betraying her, Just make sure nothing ever happens between you two again. But if you are overcome with feelings about this and feel there is no way but to tell her, then just be careful and tell her bf that you need to tell her what happened, and chose your words wisely.

Answer 4

Your boyfriend should have asked your sister to leave the room or he should have gone into the bathroom to change. If he just casually undresses in front of a girl, sis or not, you best beware! Especially if you have never had a jealousy problem out of your sister before. You know her and her history will pretty much speak for itself. You have not lived with this boyfriend fifteen years!

Answer 5

Whoa that's a really hard question to answer. It actually depends on your relationship with your sister and your bf. Have you been on good terms with your sis? Has she been fighting with you a lot? When you got a bf was she always tattling on you, or was she happy for you?
What about your bf? How long have you been going out? Long enough as so you could trust him? (Not to be frank or anything) Did he show signs of liking your sister??

Answer 6

Yes he did. It was intentional.
You sister was little shocked and interested. She, then realized the issue and came back to you on this.
Get rid of him from your life and make sure that your sister will not be his prey.

Answer 7

I think your sis is true in this case but at the same time, ur BF is not unfaithful to you.

Answer 8

its difficult to say who is lieing and who is not and hence u will have to find out the truth as boys think that sali aadhi gharwali also so he could do this also and so its always sbetter to know the truth as u r sister can choose another one why she will go after him?

Answer 9

There is one way...tell ur sister"I'm gonna break up wid him" and look closely for hidden hapiness....then u shld knw if its ur sister who's lying or if its ur BF!

Answer 10

how can he 'not remember' if he had a standing member... he a lil pedo.. drop him, further more... get your fam 2 beat him for showin ur young sis...