we dont need anything for the house like a toaster etc and could do with the cash...i have read that ppl pop a little cute poem in the invite askign for money instead..is this cheeky?
2007-09-25 22:56:01 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't think it is. Everyone knows newly weds need money to start their new life and a hint at what you really need would help them out instead of them getting you what you already have.
2007-09-25 22:58:40 · answer #1 · answered by catch22 2 · 1⤊ 7⤋
The etiquette basic here is that gifts are not required. Mannerly people maintain the polite fiction that they aren't even anticipated. To issue an invitation and simultaneously indicate that a some sort of compensation is expected -- well that isn't an invitation at all, that is more like selling tickets.
This is how an etiquette guru gets around it. She maneuvers people into ASKING. If THEY bring the subject up, then you can be very frank in your response. It would be crass to simply say "Cash only" so you give at least one alternative. "We're registered at WalMart, but cash is always the right color!" or "We need blue kitchen linens and are hoping for some contributions toward our honeymoon."
So how do you maneuver people into asking? You do your RSVPing by phone. (No, you don't take all those calls personally, you get family and friends to help.) Two further advantages to this are
(1) You have more control. On a printed card people ignore the "2, 1, or 0?" and write in "5" -- won't happen on the phone!
(2) You don't pay to print or stamp those overly cute little cards.
Congrats and best wishes.
2007-09-26 01:11:25 · answer #2 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Hi, theres a couple of poems towards the top of this page that you may like to put into the invertations, other ideas could include a wishing well at the front of the reception where people can put some money in for you both, without worring how much they put in or you could do a wedding list via one of your chosen shops (e.g. argos do vouchers, which you could spend on what you actually need)
all the best
2007-09-26 09:10:57 · answer #3 · answered by SilverstreaK_1066 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is extremely rude! NEVER ask for a gift, especially in an invitation.
I understand that you would prefer money, who wouldn't?!?, but you have to get it another way.
Word of mouth is the best way, when people ask what you would like, simply say that you really have everything that you need for the house, but it would be nice to have some spending money for the honeymoon. Say it in a joking manner and you will probably get your cash.
Let your parents and bridal party know that you would prefer cash, people always ask one of them for gift ideas.
Good Luck and Congratulations on the wedding!
2007-09-26 01:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by haleigh's mom 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is a faux pas. Some people might not like having to stump up cash and some may not know how much to give you it can get quite awkward if the amount they give you is small and not what you were expecting. They (and you) could feel embarrassed and looking at it the other way people may give MORE than they can afford in order NOT to look MEAN.
Can you not think of ANYTHING you need gift wise? No one has EVERYTHING?
2007-09-26 01:50:36 · answer #5 · answered by Hotcakes 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The etiquette elementary right that's that presents are actually not required. Mannerly human beings guard the polite fiction that they don't seem to be even expected. To concern an invitation and concurrently point out that a some form of repayment is predicted -- properly that's not an invitation in any respect, it is extra like promotion tickets. that's how an etiquette guru gets around it. She maneuvers human beings into ASKING. in the event that they convey about the concern up, then you might properly be very frank on your reaction. it may be crass to easily say "income easy terms" so which you supply a minimum of one selection. "we are registered at WalMart, yet funds is often the main dazzling shade!" or "we desire blue kitchen linens and are hoping for some contributions in the direction of our honeymoon." So how do you maneuver human beings into asking? You do your RSVPing via telephone. (No, you do not take all those calls in my opinion, you get acquaintances and relatives to assist.) 2 extra reward to this are (a million) you have extra administration. On a printed card human beings ignore on the topic of the "2, a million, or 0?" and write in "5" -- won't ensue on the telephone! (2) you do not pay to print or stamp those overly beautiful little taking part in cards. Congrats and terrific needs.
2016-11-06 09:53:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is considered EXTREMELY bad etiquette to do so. So cheeky? I dunno, rude? Yes.
Theknot.com:
Q. Is it rude to suggest monetary gifts? We already have a blender (and pretty much everything else!).
A. Well, you should never ask for specific gifts, monetary or otherwise. What you can do is let them know (if they ask) that you would prefer cash gifts. Let your parents, siblings, wedding party, and close friends know too -- and if guests ask them, have them relay your preference. But don't announce it in a formal way to your guests (whatever you do, don't mention it on the invitation!). If guests are curious, they'll ask someone close to you what you would types of gifts your would like to receive. Still, some guests will want to buy you material gifts -- so it's a good idea to register somewhere for a few items. And of course, be sure to accept and acknowledge every gift gracefully (that means send out thank-you notes). As for monetary gifts, let the giver know how you intend to spend their gift in a thank-you card.
Also, Emily Post backs this up.
2007-09-25 23:09:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on what you want the cash for,
As long as it;s done tastefuly then I don't see a problem.
It is your wedding after all.
If you want it for something specific, i.e Honeymoon, redecorating, try asking for vouchers and explaining.
My friends are getting married soon, and expecting their first child. I'm going to buy them baby goods, as they don't need anything else. I think they're asking for thomas cook vouchers too, as they can't afford a honeymoon and would like to go away.
People like to know what it;s for though, so give some guidline on what you're going to spend it on.
2007-09-26 07:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on whether the person reading the invite thinks the poem is cute. Since cash is a common gift at most weddings, usually the couple has a drop box for cards (presumably with money inside) at the reception. If you don't mention being registered for wedding gifts, people will probably give you money instead without the poem anyways.
2007-09-25 23:01:14 · answer #9 · answered by angelkyutie 2 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Yes, you should never ask for money in writing. According to etiquette standards the only thing you can do is put the word out amongst your friends that cash would be the best way to go.
2007-09-26 02:41:06 · answer #10 · answered by L H 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I got married in New Zealand this year and when we got back we had a blessing with friends and family. As we have been together for years we have everything we need really so I put a polite request in each invitation for vouchers , and named just 3 places to get them from ( debenhams,thomas cook, and argos).
I never mentioned money, but surprisingly we ended up with quite a lot of money in cards, despite voucher requests.
I think in this day and age its easier for the guests as they dont have to worry about what to buy you anyway!
Have a good wedding!!!
One word of warning though...make sure you have someone to take the cards off people at reception...and put them somewhere safe! dont just leave lying around on a table!!!
2007-09-25 23:12:54 · answer #11 · answered by Clarelouise 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋