how can i save my marrage?

Question

i am bipolar for a year now.i taught i was stabalised .i am on my meds,but if turns out i am flat(no emotions)my wife is not able to cope.we have been married 15 years and we had the perfect marrage.please help

Answer 1

First, I am bipolar and have been married to a wonderful person for 16 years. The onset of my illness came about 2-3 years after we married and understand your fears. However, your first step is to not assume your marriage is at the end. Please remember part of being bipolar and being in an extreme zone, whether you are flat, manic, or depressed is it is very difficult to see things realistically. Your perceptions are right when you know something is off balance, but to what degree and what course of action cannot be left to untrained non-professional people or to yourself. Now, you said you are on your medications, therefore you have a doctor. He/she is your first place to seek real, personal help and I urge you to do so as soon as possible. Since your saying you are "flat", it's important to tell your wife that you are aware of this so she knows you aren't just being cold or unemotional as a person, but it is part of your mental illness and are trying to get help and to please be patient. She is a good spouse and I'm sure you are too or you wouldn't be so worried, so just hang on that your marriage will have a great chance with your ability to keep trying. Bipolar people take a while to get a real hold on the ups and downs, but you are really trying and that in itself is good. Good luck and email me if you would like to talk at anytime.

Answer 2

I recommend going to a therapist together and each of you alone.

Also, there is no reason you should feel no emotions on your meds. If this is happening, they need to adjust your dose until you have something that makes you feel more like a normal, functioning person, not less than one.

My husband is bipolar. I was with him almost two years before his diagnosis and am still around. We've been together eight years and married almost six.

If she's been with you through all the bad, undiagnosed years, now is when the good times start for both of you. Best of luck to you both.

Answer 3

You are doing the right things, to go to a doctor, and she married you for richer/poorer, sickness/heath..she needs to understand, that it is the meds causing this, and have a heart. Yu could tell her that you could go off of the meds if it will make her 'happy'...and see what she says, I think that you are doing the best you can, and maybe you can talk to your doctor, with your wife, and see if there is a different medication you can take that would help your moods...in the meantime, Ask God and Jesus to interviene and help you and give you the strength you need to carry on. My prayers are that your wife will start understanding and not throw fifteen years of a good marriage away...God Bless

Answer 4

If you are feeling flat, you need a medication adjustment or change. Tell your doctor of this side effect and say that this is not acceptable. You should still have emotions. Be adamant.