Today we met a property manager to see a piece of commercial property. He was well aware that my friend (male) and I are both in on starting a new business, but during the entry and exit.. he shook my friends hand.. but not mine.
Is it just because I'm a female? Would you be insulted?
2007-09-25 21:54:09 · 10 answers · asked by PlasticTrees 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Perhaps he was waiting for you -the female- to extend your hand first.
2007-09-25 23:10:53 · answer #1 · answered by mahawi61 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The general rule in hand-shaking situations is that the person with the higher status extends his or her hand first. This would be the female in a male/female situation, the older person if there's an obvious generational gap, the interviewer in an interview situation, etc. In most business situations, this would be the person doing the buying (the customer), rather than the selling. Since you're looking to rent a piece of property, I would think you would be the customer role. So, the question is, did you extend your hand first, and the property manager ignored it, or did you not even make the first move.
On the other hand, hand-shaking is an extremely murky area. Some men have been severely conditioned to never extend their hand first to a woman in any situation (after all, it might be unwanted physical contact). The whole question of who is of higher status is sometimes questionable, and can change depending on whether you're in a social or a business setting. Even when the one person offers their hand first, it's possible the other person hasn't noticed that they've done so. And some cultures frown on any physical contact between an unrelated man and woman.
A lot could also depend also on everyone's demeanor during the meeting. Was your friend taking the lead, and did you basically act like a "support person"?
So no, I don't think you should be offended. There could be a whole lot of different things going on here, and I think it's even debatable whether or not you're in the right. The "rules" of hand-shaking are really not defined enough to be the basis of an indignant reaction.
2007-09-25 22:36:33 · answer #2 · answered by Diane H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be a little bit ticked. Guys seem to have blind spots in this situation. I've had the same experience with car dealers and home repair people. They respond to the man but the woman might as well be invisible. I sometimes think it's so ingrained they don't even realize they are doing it, or that it is really rude. I chalk it up to ignorance and keep it going --- I probably wouldn't enter into a business relationship with that person though.
2007-09-26 03:20:39 · answer #3 · answered by Parrot Eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One possibility that hasn't been explored is his religious/cultural backround may forbid it. For example, Jewish men are restricted from touching women who may not be "clean"....this has to do with a ritual bathing after her time of the month...and I believe Muslim men have similar restrictions about touching a woman who isn't his wife. I can't say if this is the case or not, not knowing the situation, but its a possibility.
2007-09-26 04:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
l would not take it as an insult,Some men just believe that hand shaking is more of a male thing.Maybe next time you are confronted with this situation,then you put your hand out and l am sure you will find a quick response from that person.
2007-09-25 22:06:13 · answer #5 · answered by Ruby Jane 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he shook only your friend's hand but not yours, it definately may be taken as an insult. However, did you offer your hand to him, only to be ignored? If not, he may have thought that you are one of those who don't like shaking hands because of germs(think Monk or Donald Trump).
2007-09-25 22:05:08 · answer #6 · answered by Jonnie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he was taught in the old traditions: a younger man waits for the older man to extend his hand; a guest waits for his host; and a gentleman waits for the lady.
so now maybe he is asking the same question about you? but no, in the old days, the lady has the option whether to shake hands or not, no questions asked
2007-09-25 22:20:34 · answer #7 · answered by bitoy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I would be. Business etiquette these days usually requires the shaking of hands regardless of sex. What a pig.
2007-09-25 21:58:06 · answer #8 · answered by hurricane197 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, i would...and it reflects on his bad mannerism...he should be shaking your hands although you are a female
2007-09-25 22:46:49 · answer #9 · answered by superb2dmax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd take it as an insult... it's like ur not worthy of a handshake...
:( ...
2007-09-25 22:50:33 · answer #10 · answered by Tsarey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋