Ok so my mom just got to be okay with me and my boyfriend being together, my grandma who lives with my mom still doesnt like it,she kinda influences my mom in a way...( by the way...we live together and have been together 2 yrs and they didnt like him b/c he is black)...I just have no idea how to tell them that we are gonna have a baby...now my boyfriend had been wanting a baby, but i think that me being scared of how my family is going to react is making me scared of telling him. I also dont knw how his parents will react to this either...We are both 21 and we both have really good jobs so it is not a problem to provide for this child, so how do i get rid of this fear? I know this should be the happiest time of my life but instead im scared. any advice please....
2007-09-25 19:36:45 · 12 answers · asked by *.: HiS WiFeY :.* 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Interracial relationships can be difficult when families are not ready to deal with the race issue. They concentrate more on his being black than they do on your happiness. There is no way to avoid telling them, so just get it over with. Their reaction will be the same no matter what you do or how you say it. You do have to tell them, though. Tell him first. He deserves to know and will probably be happy about it, since he had wanted a baby. Work out with him how the two of you will work together to support the child, know that he is going to be there for you, decide if marriage is an option. When you have this to go on, it will be easier to tell your parents (he can tell his). Their reaction might not be as awful as you think. They may be freaked out at first, but they will get used to it in time, and they will all love your baby. Perhaps this baby can teach them a thing or two. In the long run, don't despair. You want them to accept things, but you can't force them. Focus your energies instead on taking care of yourself, your relationship, and your plans. It is good that you don't need your parents' financial assistance. You also do not NEED their acceptance. Your life is about making YOU happy, not your mom and grandma. They might actually grow to like your bf during your pregnancy, when they see him stepping up and doing the things they might assume he would not (taking you to doctor's appointments, helping you through the experience, being involved in the whole process of bringing this baby into the world). Best of luck to you.
2007-09-25 19:52:20 · answer #1 · answered by roknrolr63 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Just know that this is "your life" and not theirs. I'm sure you are scared because you are very close to your family, which is good, but you should know that not every aspect of your life should revolve around your family. As you get older, you have your own responsibilities and your own life to pursue, and if having a baby with someone you love is part of that responsibility, than you should pursue it. You will have your own family now, but it is also important to have support from your own family as well. Thus, you should calmly tell them that you are pregnant... there may be bitterness and animosity at first, but time will heal everything. Just know that what you are doing is what YOU want, not that of your family's. If having the baby is what you and bf want, do it. If there are other possibilities (such as abortion) choose that. Just do what you desire, because in the end, you will be happier with your own choice than the choice of others.
2007-09-25 19:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys are both adults...it should be your life and you shouldn't have to be afraid to tell them. I understand what your going through. I never had a chance to tell my mom because i was too scared and ended up having a miscarriage. I wasn't financially stable and I think its great that you both are. When I got a little older I finally had the guts to tell my mother and she was completely understanding and said she wished she could have helped me out. Every parent is different. Just remember your an adult..don't let family make you feel like your a child.
2007-09-25 19:46:04 · answer #3 · answered by KittieKatten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult and can date anyone that you want. Tell your boyfriend first and discuss how and when you are going to tell your families. My parents threw a fit when I told them that I was pregnant. I was 22 and unmarried. I told them that if I drop the baby off for them to raise then they can complain and until then it was none of their business. Of course that never happened. That was 17 years ago. You have to stand firm and not let them push you around. Hopefully he will be with you when you tell them. Congratulations and best of luck to you. One last thought, do not ever let them treat your baby differently because of being b-racial. If they are like that then keep your child away from them. They are only victims of circumstance and have no control over who their parents are.
2007-09-25 19:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom and grandma probably already know that you are pg. you need to tell the dad before you tell anyone. but first you need to be sure. go to the doctor. am sure your family had to know that sooner or later that this would happen. you both are of age and working. handle your business and if they will or will not except it but one thing is for such a baby is comes so they need to get over it and you need to not allow them to have so much control in your life. GodBless
2007-09-25 19:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Carefully You are old enough and can handle expense problem, just make 100%
sure before you make the official announcement and make sure that your are healhy and baby is healthy and growing fine.
You can always wait till you show and they ask you. Ask them to share in the joy of the miracle from God.
good luck.
2007-09-25 19:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by littlerascal711 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get married now!! Have the baby and live as happy as any two people can be. I'm sure your mother and grandmother are well aware that you have been having sex and therefore that you could conceivable get pregnant. So, what's the big deal.....just be right in God's eyes and moralize and legalize your union. Whether you are pregnant or not is not the question. The question is do you want to be right with God. If the answer is yes, get married and sin no more. With God on your side, who can be against you.
2007-09-25 19:43:06 · answer #7 · answered by Gottaloveher 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
probably make sure you are pregnant --- then look around for somewhere else to live --- believe me you dont want to be raising a child around your mother and grandmother --- its bad enough when they visit ---- you are both old enough to make your own decisions and it sounds like you really wanted this child --- otherwise you would have used protection ---- tell them in time they will be so happy for both of you ---- best wishes now and in the future
2007-09-25 19:42:07 · answer #8 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and him can provide for the baby there shouldn't be a problem, and if you think your mom will be up set she'll get over it because she won't hate her grand-baby
2007-09-25 19:44:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him first definitely. as for the parents just tell them that you are happy and you want them to be happy for you. if they cant handle that then just wait for them to accept it. its your life. grandkids are hard to resist i'm sure theyll come around once they see how happy you are
2007-09-25 19:44:25 · answer #10 · answered by avalon552 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋