i'm 19 and my boyfriend is 20. we've been together almost 6 years. the first time we had sex was when i was 15. i liked it then but after a few months i had missed a period and we were scared i was pregnant. since thenwe decided to wait to have sex untill i got on the pill. so now i'm on the pill but i'm scared to have sex with him? not because of getting pregnant but just feeling vulnerable. ever since we stopped i kept dreaming about the next time we had sex and how iwant it to be as perfect as it can get. romantic, passionate, intimate, not just physical. i'm scared i've built sex up to be this perfect thing and it won't go the way i wish it will? and if i get dissapointed hes going to think he was bad at it or something. and that would make me feel awful. what should i tell him. part of me wants to make sure the next time i have sex is with the guy i know who i'll be with the rest of my life. but unless he proposed or something that wouldn't be possible. what should i do?
2007-09-25 17:40:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OK, so a lot of what the media tells us is not presented properly or scientifically, and people can jump to all sorts of wrong conclusions. But, let me tell you that scientists have determined, by looking at the regions of the brain that are active during sex and climax in women, that a woman needs to feel safe and secure to experience orgasm. Bottom line, much of what you are bringing up is just the biological way you work. Your body wants you to get pregnant. All of creation is designed to reproduce, and that's what your hormones do to you, etc.
So most of what you describe above is that you want to feel safe and secure. I'm just trying to help you to understand yourself. The truth is that you are young, and before it is all said and done you may end up being with several boyfriends. Eventually you will understand your own body and your own needs and not necessarily tie everything to the one perfect man and the perfect situation that must occur for sex to be good. Practice makes perfect. We learn from experience.
Don't stress. Be safe, communicate, and you'll be OK.
2007-09-26 01:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by Dude2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST RELAX and do it. It wont be perfect or anywhere near perfect the first few times so stop pressuring yourself to make it perfect. It only gets better the more you do it, kind of like learning to drive. Just do it and after a while it will be so good.
A lot of teen programmes and etc make it out to be so special, but the truth is it will only get this way after you know what pleases your partner, and more importantly, what pleases you.
Do it and have fun, it will be ok the first few times and will keep getting better. I remember when i was first doing it i thought it was not great at all. After a while i had the hang of it and thought it was mind-blowing... but looking back i didnt really appreciate back then that it would get so much better as it is now.
It will only get better with practice, and anyone that says things like: "set the scene, be romantic, make it special and it will be wonderful" is talking through their ars-e.
Ok, try all you can to make it as good and special as you can, but in a couple of years you will look back and see that even with all the preparation in the world, and romantic desires, nothing will make it as good as practice, especially if it is with the same person.
Just dont turn into a sl-ut trying to have sex with loads of boys trying to get the practice. It will get better only when you and your partner know each others bodies and desires perfectly!
HAVE FUN!
2007-09-26 21:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by a bkinky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 15 years of age is when you should have had these thoughts. Sex is not just a physical commitment for women but an emotional investment as well. You werent ready at 15 and probably still arent at 19. Have a talk to him and explain how you feel.
2007-09-26 00:46:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with safe sex!After your little scare,you felt it might happen again.If you both care for one another, the both of you would get together and face a new way of having sex without all the fear.It will be different but no fear.
2007-09-26 00:46:44 · answer #4 · answered by pedebeed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be 100% with this fella. You've been with him almost 6 years now so should be able to communicate openly, honestly and in a mature manner with each other. Best of luck to you.
2007-09-26 00:45:19 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like he didnt do it right before.r u sure u know what good sex is? because the way u just described it was physical not passionate or intimate somebody didnt do something right.
2007-09-26 00:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by spoodleroo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your anxiety is brought up by the tensio n when you missed your period. I think you better relax and do that when you're ready.
2007-09-26 00:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE PILL IS STILLGETTING PEOPLE PREGNANT. SORRY TO BUST YOUR THINKING. USE CONDOMS. CAUSE NOTHING IS 100 PERCENT EFFECTIVE. YOU CAN STILL GET PREGNANT ON DEPO. SPERMICIDE AND CONDOMS BUT EVEN THAT--A LOT OF GIRLS GET ITCHING AND IRRITATION AND YEAST INFECTIONS BUT DOUCHING WITH WATER AND SHOWERING AFTER HELPS IT GO AWAY. DO NOT HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX. I DO COMEND YOU ON YOUR WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-26 00:45:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try going online , search for adult stores .there are afew things , you might want to try , for when you are alone .This may help, to relive some of your urge ,to have sex. you will be getting it, without being unfaithfull .When you and our guy are together , it may help please him also .Don't be shy, exsplor a little , and have fun .
2007-09-26 00:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by foxxy red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to that last part of you. You'll never regret it. Wait.
But you ARE overanalyzing this. Just decide that you'd rather wait for he right guy. He might be him, might not.
2007-09-26 00:45:45 · answer #10 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋