Is 8 bridesmaids too many?

Question

So I'm in the middle of deciding who my bridesmaids are going to be and I've ran into trouble. My fiance has 3 sisters that I do get along with and feel like I should have on my side, and I have 3 cousins that I am also very close to. Well that's 6, which I don't think is too many, I've been to a couple of weddings with 6 bridesmaids and it was fine. Well, I also have 2 best friends that I feel I should have up there, but I do think it is more important to have family up there with me rather than friends. But, I don't know which girl I would pick as the maid of honor if I don't have any of my best friends in it, LOL. Because I am equally close to all 3 of my cousins, so that's why I thought to just have my friends up there and pick one of them to be the maid of honor. To make a long story short, is 8 bridemaids too many? I don't want my wedding to look too crowded and I just don't know if 8 is a common number? I've heard between 3-6, but not 8. Have any of you had 8?

How did your pictures look? That's what I'm mostly afraid of is how the pictures are gonna turn out if they are gonna be too cluttered...if any of you have pics you could send me if you've had a big wedding party so I can see how it looks? Any suggestion and advice is greatly appreciated! (sorry this sounds so difficult, I am just so stressed about the deal!)

I don't know if you can send pics on here, if you can't, please email me pictures at [e-mail]

Thanks again!

We are going to have about 200-250 people attending the wedding. And yes I've realized that I need to get married in a pretty good-sized place if I'm going to be having that many bridesmaids/groomsmen...

Cost is no matter...I am not buying the dresses/tuxes!

And my fiance sees no reason why 8 is too many...he actually likes the idea. lol he does have a lot of close friends though. I just don't want my wedding to look "goddy" =(

Answer 1

here's what you need to think of - if you have 8 would HE be able to come up with 8? if so is the church alter area big enough for the 16 maids/grooms, the 2 bride/groom, the 1 minister, and the 2 flower/ring?

next, its never too early to think in terms of money...what are you considering getting your attendants for gifts (both girls and boys) - with 16 (taking out of the equation the flower girl and ring bearer) gifts to buy - what would be your budget? would you find this amount to be too much or too little?

also - how many guests will be there - you don't want more attendants than guests in the pews.

next thought - remember not everyone WANTS to stand up for a wedding! right now if you asked me (assuming i knew you :) ) i would say no...the extra money would just not be possible. nothing against you but it IS a big financial responsibility to stand up in someone else's wedding.

Think in terms of bridesmaid's dresses and body types...I am not saying all your bridesmaid's must be models, but can you find a dress that flatters all the girls' body shapes? ex. I have seen some weddings where a bridesmaid was pregnant. They had to have a different dress because the one the others were wearing wouldn't have fit...it loOKed ok but it made the pregnant girl stand out.

i understand you want to include his sisters and your cousins but if you want to cut the list down some - how about having them sing, read a poem or scripture, or do the other wedding jobs - guest book, programs, or even ask one to do the HUGE job of rushing to the reception site and making sure candles are lit etc. there are LOTS of jobs to dole out at weddings so if you want to have everyone up there - great - if not you can definitely find something for them to do.

with all that considered - its YOUR wedding!!! i have been to weddings where it seems the groom's whole frat house is up there along with her entire family (think my big fat Greek wedding) and i have seen only 1 per side.

good luck and congrats!!!

Answer 2

Here's the rundown of my wedding
Maiden of Honor- My 10 year old daughter
Maid of Honor- Fiances 18 year old daughter
Matron of Honor- My married sister
5 Bridesmaids- Friends of either myself or fiance
Best Man- Childhood friend of the Groom
6 Groomsmen- Friends of either myself or fiance
So, we're having 8 ladies and 7 men. The Best Man is going to walk down the aisle with mine and my fiances daughter on his arms, that's why there's not 8 guys. We're having about 200 guests. I've had a few frowns about having so many maids even from my own mother but you know what, i think it'll be beautiful. not trashy. Also, at the reception, we're having a sit down dinner so instead of having a long bridal party table, they are just gonna be sitting with their own family or friends. They will still be distinguished by the clothes they're wearing. My fiance and i are just having a sweetheart table for ourselves. Having all of the bridal party lined up like that i think would be a bit awkward. Relax, have all 8. It'll be wonderful. Don't fret over something like that and the next time someone asks you how many maids you're having, proudly say "I'm having 8". That should shut up any negative response quickly. Let people think what they want. Good luck and congratulations.
BTW, what's with all of the thumbs down?? I'm sure i'll get a few with my response because it's not what people want to hear.

I marry my sweetie October 20th! WoooooHooooo!!!!

Answer 3

No, 8 is fine. I have heard that if your wedding is less than 200 people, you should have 6 or less. But *should* is the operative word.

Really, it is YOUR wedding. Do you really care what some pompous wedding etiquette columnist thinks? Trust me, no one will think twice about 8 bridesmaids, but YOU will notice if you needlessly cut out your beloved friends. How stupid would that be?

You can even have 2 MOH if you like, and they can share duties. Anything you want, you can do.

I am having 7 attendents (6 'maids and my "Man of Honor", which is my best guy friend). I am only having 150-170 at my wedding. And I couldn't be happier.

If you truly want those people to stand beside you, follow your heart and don't second guess yourself. You have way more important things to stress over, trust me!

Shopping for 4 'maids dresses that look good on all of them is not necessarily any easier. It's a crapshoot and flawed logic. Even 3 people can have distinct body types, and 7 people may all be similar. 4 of my 'maids are thin and curvy, and can wear anything and look great. 2 of my 'maids are married and just had babies. If I picked those last 2 and 2 of my other friends, we'd still have the same problem.

V-neck dresses tend to look great on everyone. Avoid strapless gowns unless your friends have good shapes (i.e. thin with large breasts). Strapless flattens you out, which looks good on few women. I also don't know how many overweight women I see who try to pull these off and look like a shapeless stuffed sausage. No support and nothing to detract from those arms, honey! Strapless seems to be a trend that many should not be wearing but few will admit. Plus. it's just rude to put your AA *and* DD chested friends both in a dress with poor support.

Smartest choice for 'maids of different body types? Pick a color and fabric, and let your 'maids all pick out their own style they prefer.

As for seating, my fiance and I are having a "sweetheart table" with just us. The way I like it! ;) Our bridal party will sit with their dates nearby. Win-win.

Good luck and congrats!

Answer 4

I think that it depends on how small your wedding is. If you're having 75 guests, then it might look silly. But really, the only thing it affects is your budget-after all, the more attendants you have, the more flowers and bridal party gifts you must have. But if you have the money in your flower/gift budget, then I say why not?
My fiance couldn't narrow his groomsmen down to anything less than 6, so we're having 6 attendants and a flower girl, and 3 ushers. At first I thought it was big, but if those are your closest friends, then I say go for it.

Answer 5

Well, to be honest with you, there may not be any traditional rules against that large of a wedding party, but from a practical standpoint, 8 tends to be a recipe for a gigantic headache. Your wedding should be an exciting time, not the time to play referee. Even though you won't pay for the tuxes and the dresses, you'll still have to find colors, styles, etc. that will look good on everyone (keep in mind, even though it is your wedding, when it comes to the pictures, you kind of "shoot yourself in the foot" if you pick out something that looks horrible on one of the members, and with 8, it's going to be really hard to find something that doesn't look bad on at least 1 person). Have you considered having some people participate in a different manner? Perhaps some of them can sing, read a poem, etc.... it's a big compliment when someone thinks enough of your talent to ask you to share it on their special day.

Answer 6

I'm having 9! Yep 9! And there's a girl on my fiance's side, so that's 10 dresses. Anyways, I will say I was just in my friend's wedding, and she had 8 maids- and the pics turned out great. They just bunched us together as a group, and it turned out really cute! (I personally like more candid shots than the standing straight in lines shots).... so that's what I will prob do for our wedding with a few of the kind I don't like for my mom haha.

I too have a ton of family- so on my side I have 2 of my fiance's sisters, 2 cousins, and 5 friends... I know it's a lot, but on my fiance's side there are more fam members, and then close friends too.... I was going to have 10, but narrowed it down to 8, then added one because I just couldn't leave out one of my friends.

I will say the only problem is getting all of them to go get their dress. After they get their dress (by the end of November), then it'll be fine. I have to first make sure they can all afford it, so I'm not rushing them too much, and then have to find out which ones need them shipped out of state....so organizing this can get stressful, but it's not bad! Plus they are all pretty willing to work with me on it because they all love the dress and are easy-going ppl as myself. :)

Other than that, I see no problems. Yes it's a huge bridal party, but I have so many family members just on my side, it's a big wedding no matter what.

Answer 7

My cousin had 7 and a flower girl and that was ok for everything except seating at the church and the reception.
At the church we didn't all fit on the same pew so we ended up standing the entire ceremony, but that was ok.
At the reception we didn't all fit on the bridal table so there were 3 tables for us all together: the bridal table with 3 maids and groomsmen, and two tables either side with the others and their (non wedding) partners, if they had them.
Other than those two things I don;t see any problems with 8 maids. If you don't clump them together for the photos they won't look crowded either.
Here is a pic of the maids, except for the intense makeup they did on us, I don't think 7 looks too bad.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stiffydagold/1440754367/

Answer 8

I think the rule of thumb is 1 bridesmaid per 50 guests. (Not that it's a rigid rule, but ballpark.) So if you're having 400 guests, 8 is a fine number.

Yes, I do think 8 bridesmaids is too many. It would make for a cumbersome service, and be puttng a lot of people to a lot of trouble. I think you will need to make some tough decisions, and cut down the number. You could just have his sisters and 2 best friends, for example. Or his sisters could stand up on his side.

Answer 9

How big is the wedding? If you're getting married in Westminster Abbey then 8, or 12, is fine. If you're not, then less may be more.

How many guests? how large a venue is the service going to be held in? What kind of budget are you looking at for the wedding? What I'm getting at is the number of Bridesmaids and Groomsmen should be on par with the size of the wedding.

Answer 10

Officially the rule is one bridesmaid for every 50 guests at the wedding. I think that's definitely limiting things a too far.

As for 8 bridesmaids, it is totally your choice. Etiquette for something like that just isn't very important. Regarding your concern that pictures will look too crowded, that's a valid concern. I would worry more about the area where you intend to actually exchange vows being too small. You don't want the bridesmaids to have to crowd during the ceremony (and you certainly don't want them to block you!).

One option would be for you to have a smaller number of bridesmaids and then give alternative roles to the other women. They could be readers, for instance, who read a given passage, poem, or other reading during the ceremony.