So I have been dating the greatest guy for over 3 and a half years! Nothing between us could have been any more perfect! Except for his fam! Ever since we started dating his sister turned against me. She would lie to her parents about me and they kinna turned against me. THey made him break up with me one time but then we got back together! NOw i am trying to get over that and they are trying to accept me but it is so hard for me. Proably because their daughter went to college this year and started talking about me to the ppl at that school too!!! Now we are at the point where they want me to be comfy with them and they dont understand why. ANd I want to cause I know if i dont then I will lose him forever!!! I need to make conversations with them.. i am 19 and they are like 50 something. ONe is just a stay at home mom who takes pics jusst for fun and the other is a orthodonist. I just dont knwo waht to talk to them about! Any suggestions? I just need to at least start making small talk
2007-09-25 17:14:02 · 6 answers · asked by Am 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am in college too... me and my boyfriend go to teo different coleges but they are in the same town! I am minoring in photography and I have already tried to talk that with her! THe dad is what gets me every time! THey kinna judge me on my background because i come from no money!
2007-09-25 17:30:07 · update #1
Common interests always help! Why not pick up a cheap SLR camera from a flea market and ask for the mother's help in taking photos. Chances are, she'll be looking for someone to pal around with now that her daughter's left the nest...it may take a bit of finesse, but indebting yourself to her photog expertise could be a good way to start :)
2007-09-25 17:19:11 · answer #1 · answered by Fox Mackenzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody loves to talk about things that are of interest to them. You said that mom loves to take pics so discuss photography with her and find out what dad likes. If they are truly trying to make amends then allow them the opportunity to do so. Once his sister grows up and matures a whole lot hopefully you two will get on better also. God only knows but you two may even become close someday in the future and laugh about how things used to be. Best of luck to you.
2007-09-26 00:20:37 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you BF's family is obviously educated to be and orthodonist, so talk about and consider going to college too.
It is sad when you feel you don't fit in, but then usually no girl is good enough for a mother's son and you are always going to try and side with your son.
Next time you talk to your son, ask him not to share your relationship with his family, ie: when your fighting, etc.
Good luck
2007-09-26 00:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
k. i know this is long, but honestly hear me out.
first, you need to calm down a bit. and then i reccommend you realize a few things here. #1-you're not the only girl that doesnt get along with a serious bf's family member (usually tends to be the moms) #2-prob sounds cliche, (and i know you dont want to hear it) but you are young. 19 years, yea you're a young adult, but i think in a few years you will be shocked about how much you can change in even just a year. at 19 i personally went from trying to be a "good girl mormon chick" to a rather liberal 9x pierced with tattoos on the way and drinking, social smoking, etc.....in like 6 months quite literally. quite a 180 if you know what mormons believe. anyway, #3-i know you love your bf, but dont close your life off to everyone else in the dating pool just yet. if things are that serious, and have been for some time now, you need to be careful about what you're committing to....just....be careful about that.
#4 and most importantly, you SINCERELY need to stop caring so much about what his sis and/or family thinks. SO MUCH easier said than done-believe me i know. my bf (of 3 years as well) is an only child. if you think there's any chance in hell that i could match up to what him mom thought was good for her 'little boy' you'd be dead wrong. i used to try so hard to please and impress her and be what she wanted me to be....but that ended up bringing around problems between me and the bf. he finally pointed out the fact that he's dating me because i'm...well, ME. and he's not dating me because of anything his parents think or say-HE is the one dating me not THEM.
what i've heard of marriage and serious commitments, is that you marry him, not his family, but you also marry the family as well (yeah i know it doesnt make sense outright). basically-your relationship with him is between you and him. if he's going to love you enough to not care what his fam thinks-i think it proves his commitment to you even more.....however, you need to respect his family no matter how you feel about them and how you feel like they feel about you. keep it to at LEAST common curtesy and respectful tones. even when they're not there. it puts a TON of strain on your relationship when you complain to him about his family even in private.
so his sister lies about you? so what? actions speak louder than words. over time you can prove the lies wrong.
my bf's mom also basically made him break up with me at one point too....but then he realized he didnt want that. after we got back together-he told his parents on the phone and i got to listen to his mom tell him for 45 minutes why that was a bad idea. he still stuck with me though, and we're both better for it.
as for convo starters....well. small talk is your general "how ya doin, what's new? and how bout them yankees?" stuff. just go with your gut and what comes to mind. perhaps bring up big local news or ask about what they've done in their lives. peple love to talk about themselves....everyone. so ask. and really listen!! (if you ask and then tune out, it looks bad) you're bound to find some common ground at some point or another that way.
good luck with this stuff hun. i've been in your exact same shoes bascially. if you ever want to email or im me i'm open.
2007-09-26 01:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by Dear Abby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be yourself.let them get to know you, as you are, for you who are. if your bf wants to be with you, he will, regardless of whether you have conversations with his family or not.
2007-09-26 00:23:04 · answer #5 · answered by ⓑⓐⓨⓢⓐ ™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can try to make his mom happy by find some beuty pic that she like for her, talk with them, try to make them happy, and give a good 'images' for them........
2007-09-26 00:22:28 · answer #6 · answered by Ng s 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋