Although I am a Christian I think I have always habored ill feelings towards other Christians?

Question

The ones who have never ached and grieved over their children or felt the loss of a marriage. Or dealt with the blow of seeing their children battling drugs while I try to walk a walk of faith. So often they have left me feeling somehow less worthy or faithful to God for the choices my children made. The pain of seeing this happen to your loved ones is hard enough, but, to have the ones you should be able to go to for comfort and can't, only adds salt to the wound. I think perhaps I am jealous they do not suffer and feel this grief. My shame covers me for feeling this way. How do I stop being upset? Is this just my way of projecting my hurt in a different direction so I don't have to face the pain of seeing my loved ones hurt themselves?

Answer 1

I think that alot of "Christians" especially your own personal "church family" are most of the time, more judgemental than a complete stranger. I would personally suggest you pray for the Lord to send you to a church that wraps their arms around you when you are feeling grieved and remember that the Lord says he disciplines those He loves, the same way we do our own children. He also says that He wont give you anymore than you can bear, so pray for the ones who are grieving your heart and you must understand that you are chosen by the Master and you cannot choose Him for someone else. Love is all you can give to the lost. Support them, like you need to be supported and pray for them, like I will pray for you. All Christians have someone close to them that are lost. It just affects us in different ways. I do not think that you are wishing your pain upon another. Maybe your heart is just hurting over their indifference to your pain. Your hurt is your own and you can take it out on someone else but you are the only one who has to face the pain the ones you love are dishing out to you. You will only be able to deal with that pain if you give it over to the Lord. He is the One who saves the broken and the lost and until you understand that you cannot be the saviour of the lost you will be smothered in your grief. We are only messengers of the One who saves, all you can give is your love and the message in the Word.

Answer 2

Once I read somewhere that the Christian army is the only army in which the soldiers are constantly attacking one another. Sadly, that is too often how it is.
And when your own brothers and sisters in Christ are so unsympathetic, so judgemental, and so unloving during a life crisis, that makes the pain you are enduring doubly raw.
I know. I have been treated the same, and it is a shameful trait of some Christians.
But I have come to see that these types are the ones who are immature in their faith. These are the ones who may be using the church as a social connection, not a spiritual connection.
They are babies in Christ, and are not growing in their faith, but are stagnent and stale, and God is hard-pressed to speak to them and show them how cruel they sometimes are.
Just remember that.
Oh, and they are also secretly relieved they aren't going through hard times themselves, and think they are perhaps being blessed by God, and so feel superior.
Hold up your head, my friend. And hold on to the hand of the one who loves you best, The Lord God.

Answer 3

Being a Christian does not save us from the fact that we are still human beings who have weaknesses and shortcomings. Pls. don't be hard on yourself. Dealing with disappointment is already a big challenge so need not belittle yourself further. A pastor once told us that once we become Christians, our faith passes through more testing and heartaches. Believing that this is God's way of telling us to hold on to our faith whatever happens. As parents, we always aspire what's best for our children but unfortunately we can only do so much. Our children still have their own "free will" to do what pleases them unintentionally hurting us, parents in the process. It is heartbreaking to see our loved ones turn to drugs or fall short of our expectations but its our responsibility to lead them back to the right path. Instead of feeling sorry for your child and for yourself, why not think of the brighter side of the situation? Yes, your children were into drugs but there's still hope for their rehabilitation and recovery. Yes, they made wrong choices but ain't it better that you found about it now instead of discovering it later when things get more complicated. Correct me if I am wrong but you feel ashamed because you feel guilty your children failed. But you should stop blaming yourself for this. God does not judge you because of what happened to your children. He knows you're a good mother and a faithful Christian. Pls. do not let this predicament mislead you. Christians or not, we are all human beings who were created to experience different feelings. Your feelings are normal and God nor your fellow Christians expect you to be perfect or a supermom. Do not concern yourself with what other's may say or think. You are foremost accountable to God and not to them. Forgive your children/ forgive yourself then move on. Encourage your children to be faithful to God, so when temptation arises (in the future) - they will be better equipped to resist it.

Answer 4

strange? No yet being obsessively hate finished in direction of them is undesirable. i be responsive to this from own adventure. I hated them often for a protracted time by using a pair extremely undesirable clinical care from one team of fundamentalists. Now I attempt to no longer hate them yet only save far flung from them often. Hate does no person any stable even whether that is for an extremely stable reason. I actual have grown out of the detest and sense extra pity for them now than something. that is undesirable to stay in the tremendous volume of worry that they do. It makes them propose, violent and blood thirsty.

Answer 5

If you were involved with a small group of other believers, you could better share this burden. Are you in a small group at your church?

My small group is great and we can better care for each other on that level. We have our problems and pray for and help one another. You do not need to face this alone.

Blessings,

TD

Answer 6

Recognize that what you hate so much in them, lives also in yourself. You are them. The same nature causes us to hate God too. But thanks the the Holy Spirit, that nature displaces that human nature, and we are made in the likeness of God.

But don't be unforgiving towards them or yourself. Bitterness isn't a good thing to carry for unrighteous causes. I am a Bisexual. I don't have far to look to see whether or not I am a sinner. I hate myself enough to kill myself, and almost did. Except I gave that right to end my life here on Earth to God. I belong to Him, my life belongs to Him, the day I die belongs to Him, as I have laid myself on the altar: an anathema.

Answer 7

You seek advice from someone at a lower level of grace. They cannot help their condition anymore than you can help yours. Keep seeking. I'm sure God will send a comforter your way.

Answer 8

Gee, aren't you being Holier than thou!!!! You must be the very best Christian on the face of the Earth. I'm sure they are preparing a special place for you right next to God and Jesus. Get over yourself because to me you don't sound very Christian.

Answer 9

Please read the First Letter (Epistle) of John in the New Testament, and pray to God according to what you read.

Answer 10

Learn to love.