is it wrong to not face a person's dying?

Question

my grandfather is dying and I find it hard to be around him and people who talk about him dying so I always avoid them and my grandfather when he's this way. I always feel better when I keep busy and do stuff, just to keep my mind occupied. Is that so wrong? I'm just not comfortable with the dying process.

Answer 1

Everyone deals with death in different ways. It's natural. The thought of dying makes you uncomfortable and that's okay. Unfortunately you will have to come to terms with your Grandfather dying sooner or later. Why not spend as much time with him as possible while he's still alive?

I was a daddy's girl all my life. I watched my father die and it wasn't easy. I literally saw him take his last breath. I take comfort in knowing that he passed away peacefully in his sleep. Yes, I was devastated, but at least I was there to see that he wasn't in anymore pain.

Talk to someone about how you're feeling. It's okay to be afraid of death. But don't confuse your feelings of death with your feelings for your Grandfather. Cherish the moments you have left with him. There should be no regrets only beautiful memories of him.

Best wishes!

Answer 2

No matter how uncomfortable you are with the fact that your grandfather's life is nearly over, you cannot avoid the fact that he will die. Take these last few precious days to see him often, express your love for him and talk with him about some of the happy times you had with him. When my daddy was dying, I talked with him about motorcycle trips we took and funny things that happened while I was growing up. I just sat on his bed and held him and told him what a wonderful daddy he was and how much I loved him. When he died, I could celebrate his life and how much he meant to me without guilt or remorse. It's not a comfortable situation but it's not something you can avoid. Death comes once to all of us. Never leave the important things unsaid if you want to live in peace.

Answer 3

I had the same problem when my maternal grandmother was dying from cancer, and I wish I had spent more time w/ her because she was such a big part of my life.
I don't think it's wrong not to face it but for your grandfathers sake & yours (before he's gone) spend time w/ him & do things that'll take both your minds off of what's happening if your granddad can still do some non-strenuous activities.
If you decide to do this, once he's passed on you won't regret not being around during this time which is more difficult for him than anyone else in your family.

Answer 4

I found out my grandfather was dying, I had not seen him for 11 years. And I needed to. So I went an saw him, and he looked nothing like I remembered him as. I kind of wish I didnt see him before he passed and just remember the old him. And never see him like that. But Im glad I did because I got to say things to him, that cleared the air, even though he could not really talk at all. I knew he was listening. But you have to do what feels best for you, because when he does die you will only remember seeing him the way he was before he died, and not what he used to be like. I hope you make the rigth choice. Also you will probably kick yourself for not going to see him...

Answer 5

I don't think many people are comfortable about dieing. Maybe you should discuss it with your Grandfather and spend some time with him alone w/o anyone else butting in. Tell him that you will miss him because that is what it sounds like. It also sounds like you have basically already let him die in your mind. He's still there. Talk to him. Ask him about his childhood, talk about what life was like for him growing up. Ask about his parents. You just might learn something in the process.

Answer 6

My father died in my arms. I was 18 then. He was breathing his last. I said,"Papa, Papa, won't you talk to me? He replied, "We will talk later', and passed away. For years,
twenty five or so, he used to be in my dreams, whenever I was under inordinate stress. He would be sitting quietly, in somewhat dimly lit familiar surroundings. I would ask him if
he would talk. I would ask him to come home. He would just not say anything. Just look at me. My next day would be far more calm and reassuring.
I don't know what you should do. It is very difficult to determine what would be good for you. If you feel he would like you to be near him, I would say try and see how you feel. Memories are audiovisual, and more visual are most vivid. If his appearance is leaving you feeling more helpless then you have to determine what is more bearable to you. You could have a balance between doing something for him and having a pleasant recollection of him. Read Kubler-Ross.
Peace.

Lord Byron wrote of the French Revolution:
Its a fearful thing
To see the human soul take wing
I have seen it rushing forth in blood.

Answer 7

I'm not comfortable with the dying process either....or illness or the unknown or flying or.....oh wait, sorry....I think it's pretty normal to feel what you are feeling, just be sure that you let your grandpa know you love him and try to squeeze in your visits to him while there are lots of other people around too, having more people around will help you with your awkwardness

Answer 8

Hi I feel you need to take time and talk to your Grandfather, tell him how you feel, he has more than likely dealt with death before and I think you will find him quite understanding as to how you are feeling, believe me if you don't talk to him you will regret it for the rest of your life. We all have to face death sometime or other in our lives, when I was young and living in England my Grandfather passed away, I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral, and I resented that fact for many years, as I never got the chance to talk to him before he passed away and then not going to the funeral I felt there was never closer.
Please try to talk to him for your sake.
Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss when he does pass away.

Answer 9

I know it's hard, but you'll regret not spending as much time with him later if you don't get over the selfishness of your feelings now. I'm not trying to be rude at all, because I've been there and it sucks. Make the most of the time you have left with him, you'll eventually adjust and deal with it all, but it takes time. Allow yourself the time when he's passed, but right now you need to live in the moment.

Answer 10

properly i might continuously face the guy to appologise for what id performed incorrect, only the way i grow to be raised yet while for some reason the guy had left or moved i might write a lettter deliver flora pass and pass to telephone them or textual content textile them in the event that they wouldnt answer the telephone deliver an digital mail or only save bombarding them with appologies until they get so bored stiff they might could respond regards