Hey ! what's up i wanted to know how you would react if someone you were dating confessed to you that they had a record i.e. they were convicted of murder and spent time in jail for it and i out on parole now. would you:
[a] Dismissed it and say because that is in their past it doesn't
matter
[b] Stay with them any ways but look on that person differently always in the back of your mind wondering if one day if something goes wrong in the relationship that person will snap and kill you too. and therefore sleep with a knife under your pillow LOL.
[c] Get as far away from that person as you possibly can maybe get a restraining order or something, there ain't no way you will date an ex-con.
let me know your views.
2007-09-25 16:36:25 · 14 answers · asked by Kerry Kay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Definitely choice C.
2007-09-25 16:40:06 · answer #1 · answered by Bonzai<3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Karen, I was a federal prisoner escort for many years and as such had to escort many men who where convicted of murder into the community numberous times. Murderers look and act just like you and I. Who knows there could be one living down the street from you. Fact of live is that majority of people who are sentenced to life for taking someone else's life will never reoffend again. The majority did it either in a fit of rage or while under the influence of either drugs or alcohol. Although this is no reason to forgive their offences if they have served there sentences and been granted parole they must have done something right while inside. Many are not model inmates but once released into the community are more than capable of beginning a new life with a fresh start and in my opinion anyway deserve a second chance. Luckily in Canada we do not have the death penalty any longer so these people are not put to death for their acts. Sure some are going to reoffend but if they do it is usually for some form of parole violation like drinking when not allowed to or being in the company of a co-accused or some stipulation that has been placed on their parole. If you've been seeing this male for a while and he has treated you fairly then what's the big deal. At least he had the balls to be honest with you and let you in on something that he did in the past that he has accepted responsibility for. My wife has met many of these guys through me and thinks that they are just as nice and normal as anybody else. If it was to happen to me and I was seeing someone convicted of a murder I would not allow this past indiscretion to blur my view of how I felt about them 5 minutes before they shared that information with me. Best of luck in making a decision that will make you happy though.
2007-09-25 23:49:51 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know I think people change. I just really think thier is good in people but in some people they don't change. No matter what they say. you probally know this to. I always think of the person in the Bible who was a killer of Christians and he turned out to be one of God's great apostles. The Apostal Paul. So he changed for sure. So yes it is possible to change. One cannot change the fact that they have killed. But one can admit thier wrong and then make ammends. Time in prison won't bring the person that was killed back. Which is sad for that person's Family and the person to. When you deal with someone that has killed and they tell you what they have done. I think I would first want to get to know this person very well and watch thier actions. Actions speak louder then words. If this person is remorseful as to what they did and if they truley are then I think you will be able to see it in thiwer actions but, if they only speak and you see no remorse or no change in this person then it probally is best to not be around this person. Many things lead to violence like drinking and drugs. does this person still do these things also? If so then they probally have not changed for to change means to change many things. They would have to change and I would certainly have to have proof of it. It also depends on how they ended up killing someone also. Did they kill in self defense? How would matter to me to. This is my opion and God Bless you.
2007-09-25 23:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd run like the wind. That is way too close and scary for me. But make sure they aren't joking or lying too. It all depends on the circumstances involved. Was it due to them protecting themselves, was it an accident, was it on purpose and why. It all depends. I know with my bio-father, he got in a bar fight and accidentally killed the guy and I didn't count that against him cuz it was an accident and they both were drunk plus it got him kicked out of the navy but I forgave him. Things happen. Find out everything first and if your not really interested in him then let him go-but gentally. Or tell him your moving away or are dying or something. If you are in fear contact your local Police Dept and get more info. God Bless and Good Luck
2007-09-25 23:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by knycthomason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely C. As Dr. Phil says, "the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior." If you're dating someone who was convicted of murder, there's a good chance you're dating a sociopath. The other two choices are gambling with your life and that of your loved ones.
2007-09-25 23:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe the past is in the past and many people just aren't in Prison because they haven't been caught. It's definitely possible and I'm actually dating an ex-con and happier with this choice then my non-ex-con 22 year marriage that kept everything under the rug. My ex-con has been straight with me about his 20 years in prison..I have issues in my past too due to sex abuse towards me and bad experiences in my life. This man and I are close and going to counseling together which is more then I can say for my "law abiding" ex who said I was nothing. My new guy and I are there for each other and I respect his honesty and determination. It's not right to "keep" people in the past. God forgives us...we all have sins of the past. Doesn't make us all bad people.
2014-02-24 21:03:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would run as far and as fast as i could away from the s.o.b.
having lived with that issue as a child i can assure you its no picnic. while the con is in the can, getting his three squares a day, sleeping in a warm, dry bed, and living in a warm dry place his family is out in the real world suffering the consequences of his actions! oh don't get me started, there isn't enough room here to tell you what it was like.
but if you are talking about yourself then do yourself a favour and get out of the relationship NOW! they never change and they drag you down with them.
if this is about you and a bad relationship with a con-if you ever need to talk, i'm here, send a message.
good luck and please get out of there now
2007-09-26 00:03:24 · answer #7 · answered by itsjustyouandmebabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I choose [D]. I would first ask them why they couldn't be honest with me in the first place and then continue dating them to see if they are a good person... If they are then I'd stay with said ex-convict... If they were not then I would leave...
2007-09-25 23:42:10 · answer #8 · answered by spazattacker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
C deffinatly, if they arecapable of murder you dont wanna be in that situation where they could get to that point again
2007-09-28 23:34:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitly C.
2007-09-25 23:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by wife2denizmoi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋