well i love this girl, since 03 months. well i came to know from someone that she just had an abortion. i m sure she will deny it if i ask her coz this baby is not mine. are there any kind of test or medical examination that can let me know if she had been pregnent in the past or if she had an abortion. if yes how soon can i have these test's before the body recovers leaving no tracable signs.
2007-09-25 15:35:45 · 32 answers · asked by confused lover 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
there is no way to test for that without medical records and that is out of the question with the new HIPPA law. you need to ask her and give her the benefit of the doubt usually there is some emotional problems with someone who has had an abortion i the past.
2007-09-25 15:39:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
Well, you can't do ANY tests on her without her consent anyways so its a moot point. Basically if you aren't sure she will answer truthfully and this is a really big deal, then your only option is to dump her. If, on the otherhand, you can sit down and have an adult conversation about this and understand that everyone makes mistakes and she may have had her own reasons for the abortion, then maybe you can go forward in this relationship. Personally, I believe that she had her history before you just as you had yours. If she isn't comfortable sharing that with you then that is her business. Why not concentrate on the future instead of the past?
2007-09-25 15:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by moira77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
News flash-miscarraiges are sometimes "cleaned out" of a woman by the EXACT same process as an abortion-a D&C. So even if you could drug her and test her, you would not know for sure if she had a missed abortion, which is the medical term for a baby which died but did not expel, or an elective abortion, where the woman chooses to end the pregnancy.
You are not the father. You are listening to others gossip about her. Abortion is legal. The only person even considering doing anything snarky here is YOU.
Please rethink your defintion of love. You have the right to know if someone shares your values if you are going to be with them long-term. If you are pro-life, it is OK not to date someone who is pro-choice if that is your decision. You have ZERO rights to snoop into her past.
If it is completely important to you that your baby never be aborted, DON'T HAVE SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRAIGE.
See how easy that was?
2007-09-25 16:34:02 · answer #3 · answered by gingerdaisy43 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, and you want to have a good relationship, why mess things up trying to dig into her personal business? You should be able to be open with her and ask her if it really bothers you that much. Also, invading her privacy isn't fair to her, and there are no medical examinations that can tell you if she did/didn't have a recent abortion, and you cannot get to her medical records because of the HIPPA laws (I work for a hospital). This is not just about the abortion, it's about TRUST. Who is this person that gave you this information, and why did they feel it was your business to know? My advice is to not be sneaky about anything, be open and HONEST, it'll work out better that way. Good luck!!
2007-09-25 17:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by FutureMD29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you truly love her, as you say you do, then I suggest you take this question out of your mind once and for all.
Secondly, why does it, or should it, matter to you at all? It isn't your body definitely, and even if she did it's none of your business and it's harder for her to deal with than it is for you.
Third, if you're wanting some medical tests to determine whether or not you should keep going out with her or whatever it is you'll do if she did, then you do not love her.
Lastly, if you let something like that get in the way of your relationships, then I suggest you take a break from them and start thinking and changing 'til you're ready for commitment.
2007-09-25 15:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You cannot know. There might be some slight scarring if the doctor who performed the abortion was a hack, but making her see a gynecologist will not help ease your mind because no doctor would report their findings to you!
The only "test" you can perform is to ask her. Are you sure you love this girl... if so, then put her past behind her and love her regardless. Does she love you? If so, trust her to be honest with you... and yes, she might lie if she feels you are judging her, so be careful how you approach the question.
2007-09-25 15:43:52 · answer #6 · answered by Rachael F 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why not just ASK her?
If she's had an abortion, it's a touchy matter. Even if there WERE any tests or medical examinations that could determine if she had it, at that point it's not worth it.
Just ask her and go from there. If you don't trust her, then leave her.
2007-09-25 15:38:44 · answer #7 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Even if there were such a test, HIPPA laws would prevent you from getting that info. If you love her, as you say you do, you should be emotionally supportive of her. Getting an abortion is about the hardest choice a woman can make. How reliable is the source of your info and what is their motive in telling you about it?
2007-09-25 15:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by Rainbow Connection 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a horrible way to start a relationship. If you are sure she will deny it, you might as well say you don't trust her, and that she is untrustworthy.
I don't know who would be right or wrong, that's not my place to say. Maybe you shouldn't trust her, maybe you should. If she can't do anything to gain your trust it won't matter whether she did or did not have an abortion. Either way, neither of you deserves to live in those conditions.
2007-09-25 15:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your place to ask or to know, that was in her past obviously, its not your baby if she was pregnant and you should like her for only her not for whether she has had an abortion. I would understand if she had a child that you didnt know about now but whats in the past is in the past, let it go - its her private business, finding out or asking questions will just make her think of bad memories and be sad, and besides would you really break up with this girl because of her past?
2007-09-25 15:40:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋