Are you satisfied with the amount of time you spend with your in-laws? Is it too much, just right or not enough?
Why the natural rivalary between husband and father in law and daughter and mother in law?
How do you handle criticism/comments from in-laws? Why is it that even the slightest comment from an in-law can burn you sometimes?
When holidays come, how do you decide which side of the family to visit?
Is it best to live away from all relatives to avoid the arguing and bickering?
2007-09-25 14:34:08 · 13 answers · asked by Andre 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My in laws live 20 hours from me and my husband but his mother still tries to run our marriage through a phone call and we have been married for over 2 years now.
In laws don't understand that individuals change when they get married and that their new family/life is number one. In laws are used to the "old' you and not the new man/women you became when you got married. We don't forget our parents its just that we have to make sure that our household is right first before we go making someone else happy.
I feel it is good to live a couple miles or states away from in laws that way they are not in your business all the time and when you guys do get together it won't be arguing or smart comments to hurt one another's feelings it will be catching up on what has happened for the last couple of months.
Criticism is very hard to handle period but you have to let your significant other know that it hurt and the only one that can fix it is your significant other not you because it will make it worse and your in laws don't feel they need to listen to you but they will listen to their own kids because parents don't like to see their own kids feelings being hurt.
2007-09-25 14:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've always enjoyed my in-laws (they are still a part of my life even tho I'm divorced). We sometimes ran into problems around the holidays with where we were going to be so I solved it by having the holidays at my house and inviting both sides over. Christmas we would split.
If there were comments made that "burned me", and during the divorce process there were many!, I kept my lips closed until the anger died down and then talked to them about how I felt and what I would or would not tolerate in the future.
2007-09-25 21:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Be open minded and patient. It takes some time to form relationships....and in laws could be some of the most important ones. All that said, the first couple of years it might actually be a good idea to move away from everyone and just learn to be husband and wife without everyone involved in your relationship. BUT, once you start having babies, it's important to move close to at least one set of parents. It's such a relief to have other loving people whom you trust to help with the kids.
2007-09-25 21:50:46 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm moving back to AZ to be with my fiance. I'll be staying with his mom and him until the wait is up on our apartment. I worked with her for 2 years and that's how I met him.
I'm sure it might get to be too much at times since we'll be around each other alot, but she has always treated me like a daughter. But at least if it does get to be too much, our room has a door, and i have no problems in shutting in.
My MIL hasn't really said anything bad...yet. So we'll see about that when it happens.
As for our holidays, his family is on the west, mine's on the east. We switch off every other year, depending on the finaces.
And as for living away, when we're done with college, we're planning on moving back east so I could be near my family when we start to have our own family. His mom is great and everything but I want MY mother there as my support system when I have kids. (just as long as she doesn't try to raise them.)
2007-09-25 21:51:46 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My in-laws are self righteous morons. They disrespected my wife and son. We left our old state, moved here, and haven't talked to either side of our family for nearly 12 years.
Life is great for us now.
We have Christmas with just the 4 of us. My mother-in-law used to put me down for being in the army. I turned it around on her for being fat. She is the whiniest, greediest battleaxe that I have ever met. Her husband is a tiny little coward of a man that hides in her shadow.
My mother and father are both racists. We avoid both sides of the family like they have a flesh eating virus.
2007-09-25 22:49:24 · answer #5 · answered by tercentenary98 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I get along with them,but we have had our problems.The best thing that I do is just stay away from them as long as I can.And only see them on a need to basis.And as far as holidays go I do not go over there anymore,I go to my familys holidays and he goes to his and the kids decide which place they want to go to.I know it's not good for the kids to be seperated on the holidays but I would rather them see me and my inlaws apart rather than seeing us bickering back and forth.
2007-09-25 21:58:51 · answer #6 · answered by flavagirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I cannot stand my mother-in-law. She is a very "needy" person and she only thinks of herself. My husband (her son) has needed her help a couple of times when she could have and should have given it but she did not. Any time she needs help she expects my husband to jump and help her. She is very disrepectful to me as his 2nd wife and says things like, "you are the 2nd wife and that is not as important as being the 1st" and stuff like that. My father-in-law unfortunately passed away before I ever met him. As for holidays we pretty much spend it with my family. (they are much more supportive and loving to both me and my husband).
2007-09-25 22:36:23 · answer #7 · answered by mom4gr8kidz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i never got along with them
not right since the first time we met
there was another daughter in law before me
and i caused trouble just for comeing into there
little click they already had
i try and avoid all of them every holiday i will
not go to there homes
i think its best to live away from them
unless you all get along great
2007-09-25 21:53:11 · answer #8 · answered by cher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO I do not get along with them. It all depends on the person and the family. My husband and his family doesn't even get along with his parents so it is best for us to stay away.
2007-09-25 21:37:54 · answer #9 · answered by casey101 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I get along great with my inlaws & vice versa my husband gets along with my mother. (my father has passed on)
We used to always make sure that we spent time at each place but since my disability, I get tired out so soon that sometimes I have to stay home or not go to one place and it really isn't fair.
2007-09-25 22:00:48 · answer #10 · answered by ~Sheila~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋