Here we go. First of all since the day that the child was born the father denied her. After she was a year and a half is when he decided that he wanted to be in her life. Since then it has been nothing but he coming around when he felt like it. Telling her that he would be there and then never show up and leaving the mother to deal with a child that was crying and not understanding why her father didnt want to see her. And the main reason for this is what do you do when the father calls the mother and tells her that he is giving up his rights and wants nothing to do with her or the child. And after the mother telling him that she will sign the papers but that he would still have to pay what he owes to his daughter and him telling her are you really that jewish, you should have been burned with the rest of them. The mother throughtout the years has never done anything to him to hurt him. Even when he wasnt paying she was still allowing him to see his daughter. Please help.
2007-09-25 13:40:58 · 14 answers · asked by tazgillv 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He sounds like a nut case and I think your daughter will be better off without him. However, he still needs to pay support for her.
Is there a court order for support? Is there proof of paternity?
He can give up his "rights" but he can't give up his responsibility. You need a lawyer. If you can't afford one, see if Legal Aid can help.
As for your daughter, tell her that her father has a problem and that she can't depend on him to keep his word. Let her know that you think she is special and that he is the one who is missing out.
Tell her that one day he will realize what he is missing ( even if you don't really think that he will.)
And -- I would not allow him to see her alone if he does come around -- no telling what garbage he might tell her.
2007-09-25 14:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok well first things first, if he signs over his parental rights to the child, you cannot pursue him for money. Or even backed child support. Sorry, those are the rules of the game.
It'd be better off for her to not have him in her life. She'll learn that men are wishy-washy and find someone exactly like him who will only break her heart.
While she needs a male figure in her life, she doesn't need one who uses her as leverage or bait for pissing off mom. His remarks about her heritage are ludicrous and can cause an identity crisis or self-esteem issues.
If he refuses to sign the paperwork then you can have it drawn up on your side and post a notice in the papers of the towns he might be in and then go from there, he has a certain amount of time to respond. If you are remarried or have another man in your life who is willing to marry you and adopt her, it should go a lot smoother.
Good luck, but please don't let her be around him again and especially don't give in for that occasional check from him. For my entire life I felt my mother 'sold' me to my father for $200 a month and I hate her for it.
2007-09-25 14:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I consider it his loss. I would not worry about financial cost for the kids. Somehow someway this mother is going to provide for her children without this losser father. I'll tell you I have a 13 year old child that I had before I was married his father and I were never married we were highschool sweethearts and both of us knew that it would never work. He sees his son does favors for us. But since the day I fell in love and married my husband my son is also the apple of my husbands eye and he is lucky he has two dads. But don't stress about a loser there are many men in the sea that will be a great replacement dad. KIDS are smart you don't have to explain to children there father wants nothing to do with them you just better damn well screen any potential canidates for husband as well as father good and make sure that they will be loving, caring and there for this persons children. It is a rule in our house between my husband and I that he and I can talk about my sons father anytime in private but never knock him in public or in front of my son. Financially my sons father sucks but why pick that battle you cant get blood from a turnip so you better just concentrate on the child. Don't ever talk about that person in front of your child. And basically if he would like to terminate his parental rights let him go. HIS LOSE BIG TIME!!!! I WOULD'NT EVEN WANT HIS SLIMY MONEY IF I HAD TO GET ANOTHER JOB!! GOOD LUCK. Remember be positive kids are smarter than you think!!
2007-09-25 13:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by Rachelle S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would probably be best if he gave up his parental rights, never saw his daughter but still paid child support. Having said that, your daughter needs to speak to a lawyer or to children's services and get it understood that he WILL visit on certain days that are allocated and if he does not show up he will lose his parental rights, but not his obligation to pay child support. It is not at all fair to the child to have her yanked around by someone who obviously doesn't care except that he doesn't want to pay support. Get the support first; chances are he will fail to see her and lose his rights in that regard.
2007-09-25 13:50:38 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is let him sign away his rights. Trust me I had a no good father like that and now that my siblings and I are grown and we have nothing to do with him he is starting to pay for the way he did us. Your daughter's father is gonna die a lonely old man. The best you can do is just keep showing her all the love you can and thank God this deadbeat is getting out of your daughter's life.
2007-09-25 13:51:08 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite frankly i think this guy is a pig, in the best interest of the child i would not let him contact her, all the dissapointments are too much for small children and he is obviously not a positive influence. He should be taking responsibilities for her in a finacial sence, It would be wise to make all of this legal though to avoid future problems
2007-09-25 13:46:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be ashamed of yourself for having sex with such a poor excuse for a man.
You have no one to blame for this situation but yourself. If you had been able to show some self control and self respect you and your innocent child would not be in this situation.
You child will suffer for the rest of her life because of your poor choices. Now is the time to make sure that you find counseling to help your child deal with the situation you have put her in.
2007-09-25 14:13:55 · answer #7 · answered by Married with children 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
be glad you don't have to share her with him...she'll be better off in the long run...take his offer of signing off his parental rights and you won't have to worry that 10 years from now he will be able to get back into her life...she may be sad and have questions, but will someday understand
personally, I wish my kids' father would fall off the face of the earth...it would be easier than dealing with him and all the drama he puts my kids through
so, be happy he is relinquishing his rights and enjoy raising your daughter without him...he sounds like a selfish S _ B
with men, tug at their wallet and they get defensive
with women, tug at their kids, and they will fight like hell
you can make it without his support, because, even if awarded, he probly wouldn't pay it anyway
2007-09-25 14:43:43 · answer #8 · answered by onceisenoughilearnedmylesson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go.... one day he will have to answer to the child. If the child is old enough to understand all that is going on some counceling wouldnt hurt anything..... that way he/she can have someone to talk to that knows what to say....
2007-09-25 13:50:42 · answer #9 · answered by beanodom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consult a good lawyer. You will need child support.
Be very choosy in your next relationship. Selfish and self-centered men often make poor fathers.
2007-09-25 13:52:09 · answer #10 · answered by greydoc6 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋