earlier, i was eating at school (i go to college if this matters). there were lots of tables open. then this like middle aged guy (i'm like 20 if this matters) just puts his books on my lunch table at the other end (this is a long bench table, i was at one end, he put his stuff down at the other end, so its not like he put his books down on my stuff), but just sat down and started eating. i thought this was weird. id never had this happen. there were lots of other open tables, he just comes to my table like it's no thing. and this has never happened to me, so i didnt know if i shouldve said something or if you consider that rude, i didnt know, i mean i looked at him like "what are you doing?" and he didnt even look at me. i ended up moving. he didnt look at me or say anything and i didnt say anything. but that makes me wonder if that ever happened again, should i have said something? do you consider that rude if someone just did that to you?
2007-09-25 13:27:31 · 15 answers · asked by cfab 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No, I don't consider it rude and I don't consider it "your table" either. It's not like your name is on that table. The tables are there for everyone to use.
So he sat at the other end of the table? Who cares? Maybe he's used to sitting at that table?
2007-09-25 13:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
NO IT'S NOT RUDE.
Do you own the table? Are you in a public place. He didn't even look at you so what's your problem? You are being strange and paranoid. We live on this planet with other people. There is no reason for someone to move as far away from you as possible. In fact, if you were in many other parts of the world people acknowledge personal space a lot less than you are used to. Lighten up and stop freaking out. He didn't do anything to you. He sat down at a table to have a meal, and you acted strangely by leaving and if anyone approached being rude it was you.
2007-09-25 20:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by dddbbb 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nope, not rude. I think he was being considerate of other people. Nothing worse than walking into a cafeteria and there isn't room for you and your friends to sit (or a restaurant for that matter) because all of the big tables were taken up by only one person. And he may regularly sit at that table just at a different time, or could have planned to meet someone and it was a regular meet up point. If it was a long table like you said, him sitting at the other end is normal. Now if he came and sat right next to you, it would be different.
2007-09-25 20:37:49 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly C 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have to admit I would have been a bit surprised, but not offended as you apparently were. It certainly wouldn't have made me move to a different table -- that's the rude part of the whole story -- pretty unfriendly if you ask me.
Give the poor guy the benefit of the doubt...maybe he has OCD or some need for routine, or was meeting a blind date and had to sit at the table, or for crying out loud, maybe he was tired from walking and took the first empty seat he came to.
2007-09-25 23:54:15 · answer #4 · answered by The Skin Horse (formerly ll2) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, a cafeteria table no matter the length is not "your" table. It doesn't matter how many were open. The tables are there for many to use as they choose. It's the same in any food court in any mall. He did nothing wrong and you are over-reacting. Geez, it's just a cafeteria setting. Hope you never go to France where everyone eats on top of each other and love it.
2007-09-25 20:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This was totally normal behavior. It's not your dining room in your home, and it's not a private table like at a restaurant. It's a common public space with tables designed to accommodate a lot of people.
I don't see anything rude about this and chances are he wasn't even thinking about you, just picked a place to sit. It's no big deal. He didn't "do anything to you" he was just going through his day. It has nothing to do with you.
2007-09-26 11:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by Parrot Eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't consider it rude. He has to sit somewhere, and it seems like he went to pains to not sit right on top of you. Perhaps your table was convenient to where he wanted to be (why did you pick it?) The fact that he didn't look at you seems to indicate that he held no untoward intentions towards you: that he was simply sitting down somewhere convenient to eat, just as you did.
The only thing that might have been rude, frankly, was your reaction. It sounds like you probably had an expression of disgust on your face, perhaps made a little noise of irritation. I am sure he noticed it, and he probably felt terrible when in fact it is likely that he never meant ill in the first place. Heck, maybe he just prefers to be near another person while eating: I confess to feeling that way myself sometimes. Would you therefore assume that I was a dirty old man also?
2007-09-25 20:37:31 · answer #7 · answered by Gary B 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
as most cafe's are public eateries, legally you do not need another person's permission to take a seat- reguardless of their answer if you did take the time out to ask. However, ethically, if you didn't- that would be an invasion of their little space if you sat w/o asking first. But you have every right to sit. Those are some of the fundamenals of life and the key word 'real' world. Ignorance to life when its played out in our little world CAN be surprising huh?
2007-09-26 11:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by bailaen_ny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, of course it isn't rude. What makes you think it's rude. Perhaps other tables were not available.
There are more important things in life in which to concern oneself, other than someone sitting at the same cafeteria with you.
2007-09-25 20:35:35 · answer #9 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it depends where country u came from... :), seriously, coz in the philippines, it's not rude, school property is considered public so whether someone sit with u inspite of having many open tables, it's ok. though i say that's a little awkward that, that man felt more comfortable in sharing a table with you than having his own.
2007-09-25 20:40:17 · answer #10 · answered by dolz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋