How do you respond when your toddler throws a terrible tantrum in public?

Question

I was at the grocery store with my 2 year old and she was acting TERRIBLE! She's normally behaved, but I was embarrassed. I'm not a spanker either and I believe in the power of ignoring tantrums, but it was difficult to ignore. How do you normally react?

Answer 1

Ignoring it is not polite to the other people out there in public with you.

Either remove the child (and yourself) from the situation, to somewhere quiet & private where you can deal with it.

Or, get up close to the child & speak quietly in his/her ear, pointing out the people who are being inconvenienced/bothered by their behavior. This one really worked well with my kids once they understood empathy & respect for others.

Or, get up close to them & help them learn how to politely communicate their frustration, tiredness, anger. Talk to them about what they're feeling. Empathize with them. Talk to them about respectful & appropriate ways to communicate their feelings, voice their disagreement, ask for cooperation.

Distract them with something new. Sometimes I'll point out something goofy to laugh at, or start a conversation about what they did that day.

Answer 2

My kids are all grown up now, but did not usually act up too much when we were out. The few times they did, I whispered in their ear ( while pointing to a store employee) "Do you want that man to come over here and tell you 'NO!' " For some reason, it made them stop!

I have seen some kids out in a store at a time when they should have been having lunch or dinner or a nap ---and they were having a tantrum. I think that some parents expect young children to behave even when they are tired or hungry -- and the little ones just aren't able to do that.

For those occasions when they just want something they can't have, I would let them know that you understand that they want a toy ( or candy,etc) but you are just not buying that today. And if you have no other option --leave the store.

Answer 3

first we make sure our kid can't hurt themselves or somebody else by flailing around

second we pick up our child and leave the store while trying to determine the cause of the tantrum even if this means leaving a cart full of groceries. We talk about what is going on & return to shopping only if the tantrum stops. We tell our kids about what we are trying to buy & that they will go without the items if they keep acting up!

third we give the child an age appropriate consequence like having to stay home with an adult during a fun family outing. We make sure they understand why they are being disciplined

It does get better, hang in there!

Answer 4

I would leave the store. Once I even put my daughter in the corner at Wal-Mart, she hates the corner and would not quit I told her "you know Wal-Mart has corners" she looked at me like ya right, she was around 3 or 4. I marched her butt over to a big cardboard display and stood her in its corner, it only took about 4 seconds and she promised to be good and has NOT thrown a fit in the store since. I am not a spanker either but do not think you should ignore it, it will not go away on its own, it grows as the child does. Trust me I learned that the hard way.

I also do not think it is fair to all the other shoppers to ignore a tantrum 2 yrs old or not.

Answer 5

This was one are where we had the upper hand. I remember the day when I knew we'd won!! Firstly, don't be afraid at raising your voice slightly in a public place...you don't have to shout!!!! Say to your child, "I'm leaving now because your behaviour is unacceptable, if you'd like to come with me, come now." At this point walk off...but watch from a distance, don't just leave (!!). Hide behind another aisle or something. As far as the discussion with your 2yr old goes, leave it at that! You have made your point and they will have taken what you have said onboard...if you say anything else, all will be lost.
You need to do this routine consistently, every time it happens. Your 2 yr old will get to know what happens. Sometimes you may have to walk a little further (but keep a safe distance...you know what I mean)...
Now this was when we know we'd won...."Mum can I have a chocolate?" I said "No, not today."...you know what happened later. We were at the checkout and I said no again once or twice but I didn't go any further into it...after all, I'm the parent, I make the rules and I do not have to explain myself to a young child. I finished at the checkout and the tantrum continued. I said " I have said no, that's all there is to it, I'm going home now, good-bye." I said it calmly and politely to my 3 and a half year old. His reply was, "Ok, we maybe we can get one next time" and he happily followed me out of the store. Now, READ THIS...the trick is to STAY CALM, SPEAK POLITELY to your child and don't be afraid to change the tone of your voice in a public place. If you do these three things, people around you will be quietly congratulating you for your patience, which after all, is what it is all about!!! Stick to the same routine...you will win.

Answer 6

My son is 3 and acts like this occasionally. I think every child does. I take him to the bathroom, or out to the car, and talk to him about his behavior. After he calms down we proceed to finish our shopping. If he does it again, he knows that we will go straight home and he will go to bed. No matter what time it is or what else we have to do. As soon as we walk in the door he goes straight to his room. He hates that. And so he knows after the first chit chat in the car, that he had better act right. He usually does pretty well now, but I always make sure that he is fed before we go. And I bring a cup for him. That seems to help. Ya know.... it is kinda funny though. He NEVER acts up when daddy is around. Only mommy gets the joy of tantrums. LOL!! Good Luck. It is just a phase almost all children will go through at one time or another, and it will pass.

Answer 7

It's funny, because even if they are throwing a fit because they don't want to be in the store, getting in the car & going home is still the best method. It sucks when you are dining out or grocery shopping because you may have to abandon what you are doing, but it sure does make an impression!

Answer 8

I really just ignore it. Was she sitting in the cart? If not, that's what I would do...even if you are going in for just one thing..get a cart, and sit her in it. Then if she has a tantrum, you know where she is, and you can ignore it easier. I feel if you leave with her, then that might be what she wants..is to leave and do something that she wants to do. So in essence if you leave with her..she's getting her way. So I just ignored my kids and went about my shopping. It only took a couple of trips like that for each kid. I think, truly, it's a 'rite of passage' so to speak for toddlers.


Good Luck
Momma P

Answer 9

I would leave the store. Take your child to the car and if she calms down go back in. You can't reason with a 2 year old, but you can help her understand consequences. If she can't behave then she has to go home. If she can calm herself down then she can continue being out and about with you. Don't give her anything to calm her down, because then she will learn if she makes a scene she will be rewarded. Good luck.

Answer 10

Ignore them this happened to me with my son twice. I knew people would be looking at me thinking I was a terrible mom. Hes kicked and rolled around the floor I just held him still.
Hes as good as gold now when I shop with him. Dont get me wrong he has his defiant moment but 95% of the time hes good.

Answer 11

i certainly wont leave the shopping and go home so they win!
if my son tantrums i will stop and just watch him and talk or even laugh because its so rediculous. Of course i would feel internal stress but i wont show it. once then tantrum there is nothing you can do but let it run its course.