My stepson has recently been demonstrating really violent behavior. I'm worried because his biological mother had a mood disorder and was very violent. I'm pregnant and I don't want him around the baby if this behavior continues. He's in therapy but it doesn't seem to be helping at this point. I feel like we've tried everything.
We need some help.
Thanks.
2007-09-25 11:37:46 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
He's lived with us for the last 2 years and prior to that lived with his dad since he was about 3. He hasn't seen his mom in years.
2007-09-25 12:11:03 · update #1
get him a punching bag to relive his stress and anger.
let him be really involved in the pregnancies
2007-09-25 16:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by hepburncrew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked him why he feels so angry? He may be feeling that you aren't going to care about him anymore, now that you are having your OWN baby. I am sure he has figured out his own mother doesn't want to see him (from her not being around) and now he feels like your attention may be disappearing soon as well. Children act out in violent ways usually because they are seeking attention, and even bad attention is better then none. Perhaps a few sessions of family counseling (with everyone there) could help ease some fears he may be having. Don't be so quick to just pack him up and ship him off, he probably already feels like that is what you are going to do.
2007-09-25 19:45:08 · answer #2 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boys really like to adapt to their parents behavior. So if his mom was violent, thats where he got if from. He might even miss his mom. If you dont want to give him up, it is important that you give him a different example of how to treat each other, because he eventually might copy you too. I hope his father is not violent with him and no one is screaming at him, because all he does is copy. He also should hang out with quiet guys in his free time. He is still young and needs love, make sure, despite his behavior, someone shows him love at least once in a while and puts time away to listen to how his day was or whatever he has to say, not just a therapist.
Some boys can be hard to deal with because they demand a lot of attention. In my opinion, having a quiet conversation with him every day can do more than a therapist can do.
2007-09-25 18:55:18 · answer #3 · answered by jessika s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really need to have him see a psychologist or at the very least therapist (there is a huge difference in the two). Children at that age who display abnormal amounts of rage have serious problems that if left untreated, will most definitely carry over into adult life. You are right to be concerned for the well-being of your unborn child, not to say that he would do anything but he could. Children who display unusual amounts of violent tendencies often have a chemical imbalance that is easily treatable through counseling and drug therapy. A lot of people are against pharmaceutical drugs for treating young children but in some cases it is the only way to go, the only way to know if it is right for him is to see a professional. Do not allow them to label him with ADHD right off the bat, most children with ADHD are not violent. Good luck.
2007-09-25 23:41:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
1. take him out of therapy. he will only resent you for putting him there. that makes him think there is something Wrong with him.
2. give him more attention. he is jealous of the new baby, so you have to show him that you still love him and still will when the new baby arrives.
3. when he gets violent, beat his à ss. for something that serious time outs and other bµllshit punishments like that won't work.
2007-09-26 08:33:33 · answer #5 · answered by fatass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...you poor thing. This isn't good for you to worry about while pregnant at all. Let me ask a few questions. Does he live you with all the time? If not when is he there? (just every other weekend...or every other month?) Does he hurt himself? Does he hurt other kids? Does he hurt YOUNGER kids...like small small (1-2 years old). WHY is he in therapy? Is it for the anger issues? He very well could be angry because his mom and dad aren't together anymore. That's the age for this kinda thing.
2007-09-25 19:04:14 · answer #6 · answered by OMGiamgoingNUTS 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
As suggested above, he might be really jealous, this is the time to have a heart to heart with him to let him know you will still love him the same, and he has to be a role model for the baby etc, if his behaviour still doesnt change, consider having him evaluated for anger management or even mental help because if it continues you risk the chance of him doing something to your baby once its born, its not unheard off, in fact its probably more common that people think and hidden behind the name SIDS. i would be extra careful.
2007-09-25 18:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by Heaven L 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Duh!! He is probably acting out because you are pregnant, and thinks that this baby will be loved more than him. If therapy is not helping, he should be in it. Sending a child to therapy, makes them believe something is wrong with them. When most of the time, all they need is attention.
PS- His mother being violent and having a mood disorder should never be something that should be said around him.
2007-09-25 18:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by s7e28w81 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Maybe a beating might help; just playing. Maybe try finding the source of his anger and hate; that may help. Maybe he`s bi-polar. Therapy might not help.
2007-09-25 19:02:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he has always been an angel but recently started being a brat, I would guess that someone is sexually or physically abusing him. I wouldn't put it past the therapist to be the abuser, sometimes it is those whom we least expect.
2007-09-25 20:53:50 · answer #10 · answered by Barney Blake 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋