I'm a 14 year old freshman, and my father passed away this morning after 1 and a half years of battling with cancer. Any advise with getting through this?? Thank you very much.
2007-09-25 11:18:50 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My father also passed away after a year and half of battling cancer, and it was awful. It was one of the hardest things ever, and I was 34 years old. I can't even imagine having to deal with that at 14. Just allow yourself to feel, grieve....talk about him, keep him important and alive by remembering the good, the bad, the silly etc. It's going to hurt and be numb and feel weird for a long time, and you've got many years of learning how to become a man without him to ask advice....so perhaps turning to a grandfather or uncle might help you navigate the next few years.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
2007-09-25 12:53:17 · answer #1 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A day at a time. Everyone has a different way of grieving and if you just take it on day at a time, eventually you will start thinking about the positive things, like he is not in anymore pain and he is in a better place. I know were you are coming from. My mother passed away of Lung Cancer 4yrs ago and I was 19. I thouhgt that I would never stop hurting and still to this day I think of her everyday but i know that she will always be in my heart.And I see her in my own children.
I hope this makes you feel a little better and so sorry for your loss,.
Hang in there and have faith!
2007-09-25 18:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by mzting 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry about your father. Right now i would I could give you a big hug and tell you it will all be alright. I'm sure your Father loved you very much. Cancer is very hard to go through, and I will be praying for you. I think you would feel better if you talked to your Mom (or sibling if you have one) about it and how you feel. I'm sure they feel the same way and plus it always helps to work through something hard like this with another person just like you. Rememeber also that God loves you.
2007-09-26 18:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by pup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss.
There are two important things: 1) accept the love and support of others, and 2) know when you need to be alone to accept your loss so you can get on with life.
You will know when you need to be with people, and make no bones about nicely telling people when you need time alone.
Please don't fall into drink/drugs/promiscuity... they don't fill the hole that will be there now. Only time, love, and proper grieving will.
Accept that you will be angry. Accept that you will be sad. And accept that these things will happen at completely irrational times. It's normal. IT's ALL NORMAL.
And if you have any spirituality, pray, and picture your dad in a much better place than the pain he was in. He is still with you, only in much better health, and he will watch over you.
God bless.
LJG
2007-09-25 18:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by LJG 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know that your Dad was battling this terrible disease for a year and a half. I'm sorry for him he lost his battle and sorry for you and all who loved him.
I personally have never experienced anyone in my life having cancer.......Thank God because I know it's a horrible thing to have. You knew what your Dad went through and how hard he tried to fight. I'm sure he was suffering alot. He isn't any more. And if you believe in God and the place that's waiting for your Dad you know that he is know longer suffering and is in a wonderful place.
I often ask myself why things like this have to happen to us and effect us the way they do. I know this might not be alot of consolation to you right now but there is alot of things that you've gone through as a person that you wouldn't have had if your Dad hadn't had cancer. You can look back on it all and learn something positive and someday some of the things you had to go through might just help you or help you help somebody else.
I didn't loose my dad to cancer but I did loose him just before my 12th birthday, so I know how hard it is and my heart goes out to you and your family. God Bless
2007-09-25 18:36:55 · answer #5 · answered by MLJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take time and that is ok as it is a process different for everyone. You at least don't have to experience the shock of those who have lost loved ones in an accident etc. Please protect your spirit during this time and try and remember that his pain is all gone. He is at peace now as he most likely had quite a bit of physical pain as you noted he had cancer. Consider celebrating his life by remembering silly times and within your own as well - laugh often and cry too....it's all ok.
It helps to reflect and allow each day to begin a with a healthy attitude. My condolences...
2007-09-25 18:46:41 · answer #6 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember the goodness you felt with him. allowing the pain to pass is normal,, look to the heavens on a nice sunny day and remember the magic love brings, and know that passing from this life is not an option, but a doorway to heaven's gate. sorry for your loss at such a young age, peace be with you.
2007-09-25 19:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh sweet heart I am so very sorry..it will take time be sure to stay around positive people and talk about you father and his best qualities.I know that you are so sad and I wish there was more that we could do for you..please keep you head up I would give you a big hug and let you know that you are so very special
2007-09-25 18:48:01 · answer #8 · answered by ღOMGღ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
take it slowly, dont over do anything, do you're grieving, be there for yr mum. remember the good times the two of you had.
My dad had cancer too and lost the battle, im sorry for yr loss.
2007-09-25 18:48:22 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your best friend to spend some time with you. If you have an aunt ask her to help you get an outfit for the service. Talk to a school counselor soon as you can go back to school.
Be sensitive to your Mother. Bad time for her. Listen to what she needs. Don't ask her to do anything extra for you.
2007-09-25 18:40:11 · answer #10 · answered by Nora 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋