Pregnant not marrried.?

Question

So I'm 4 months pregnant and I'm not married and all of the women at my job are married or engaged. I work for a medium size corporate company.

I came up with this plan to buy a ring and pretend I'm engaged so people will not look down on me. My boyfriend claims he is getting me a ring but he is taking to long and we are not getting along so I'm not sure if he is really going to get me one.

Do u think this is a good idea?

I guess I should have made this clear I was told by my doctors that i would not be able to have kids other wise i would not have put my self in a position to get pregnant.

Answer 1

You should be happy & content with yourself. Be proud of who you are, while I agree that I think this is not a good idea I also know what it is like to be in your shoes, I think that if it will make you happy why not?
After all us on Yahoo! Answers aren't in your shoes. Do what you believe is what you would want to do.

Answer 2

This is 2007. Don't be ashamed of your situation. I felt the same way after having a child at 18 right out of high school. I let people talk down to me. I actually had one woman I worked with ask me how my parents felt about it. I responded very politely that I was an adult & there's nothing we can do about it now. She responded with "the worst thing any of my kids could do is get pregnant w/o being married" This is a ridiculous statement from a close minded person. As long as you & your boyfriend care for your child properly don't put any merit on what others think or feel the need to lie. These days people are skipping the wedding more & more. Get married when the time/finances are right. Who cares what your co workers think. Congratulations too :-)

Answer 3

I do not think that it is a good idea. Don't be ashamed of your situation. Enjoy being pregnant. Just because it feels like everyone around you is getting married and engaged doesn't mean that you should act like you are too just so that you can fit in.

*I get asked everyday if I'm engaged yet. My boy says that he's going to...but still hasn't. He's waiting for the right time. But, just because people are asking me over and over and over if I'm engaged yet...doesn't mean that I should go out and get a fake ring so that I can act like I am. That doesn't make much sense to me. Wait for it to really happen. That way when you tell people, you can be really excited...because it's really gonna happen!!!

Answer 4

If it makes you feel better then do it. But you shouldnt feel bad. There are many single mothers out there. Look at the film stars who adopt or give birth without being married.
Be proud of the fact that you are going to be a Mom and that you have a job to provide for your baby.
Dont make the mistake of marrying your boyfriend just because he is the babys father. To be a good mother you have to first be a happy mother. And if he doesnt make you happy you would truly be better off bringing up baby alone.
Are people really looking down on you for not being married?Are you sure it is not just your overly sensitive pregnancy hormones? If they are looking down on you, hold your head high and know that you are better than them because you are not so small minded as they are.
Good luck with your baby and I hope your relationship works out for you. xxx

Answer 5

Terrible idea.
Don't "pretend" to be engaged if you're not especially if you're not even getting on with your boyf.
The most important thing is your child and having a good pregnancy. If homeboy can't own up to it, let him go. Nobody at work is going to heckle you if you are unmarried and un-engaged. Granted, I think most women would prefer this but it doesn't always happen that way. And nowadays, it is very common.
Frog everyone else and just do your thing, girl.

Answer 6

Dont worry about being married and certainly dont pretend to be engaged. Take care of yourself and your baby and dont pay any attention to what others are doing. Getting married just because you are pregnant is a bad idea and probably wont last. This isnt 1960 any more. Lots of single women are raising children very well on their own.

Answer 7

Not a good idea. People will be asking you all sorts of questions about your upcoming nuptuals. Then, you'll have more problems down the road: Switching rings if your bf gets you one (as someone else pointed out). Or having no forthcoming marriage if your relationship doesn't work out and in that case, falsely sending out the message you're not available should you become available. Should word get out that you were lying, you'll also develop an integrity problem.

It's best to develop a thick skin and not let it bother you should anyone look down at you. As someone else pointed out, be strong for your child.

Answer 8

Ive done it, the rings work miracles, I am engaged now, but before that if a guy came up I wasn;t interested in slip a ring on my finger, and whatever he says I was oh well I dont think my fiance would appreciate that.
I now have a promise/engagement ring, weve decided to just move our promise rings to engagement and put the 600 we saved at least, into saving for our wedding.
But I now like before, oh my fiance wouldnt like that.

Answer 9

My secretary is having twins in a few months and is not officially engaged. I have not looked down on her and it's not my job to meddle in other people's affairs.

Why don't you worry about yourself and your baby and not what other people think. If you get a fake ring now what happens when your boyfriend gives you the real ring, are you going to change engagement rings? That will look silly, won't it?

Answer 10

I have a friend who has been with this guy for a long time....they have a one year old and she's 5 months along with their second. They aren't married and everyone knows it and no one cares. Sure he's gonna propose sometime, but now's not the time fr them for whatever reason. Its a new world out there honey....you don't have to be married to be pregg (its nice but not necessarry in this day and age) and besides...why lie to your co workers...lies never work out anyway...they always bite you in the bum.

And another thing? Once he DOES propose...how are you gonna share all the excitement and fun when everyone already thinks your engaged??

Answer 11

it's not worth faking it. you dont even have to have an engagement ring when you get engaged...but i know that's not what you're asking.

I don't really think it's a good idea, as long as you're happy, who cares what people at work think? you don't have to LIVE with them. You have to live with yourself.

If they're that stuck up and are going to say something about you not being engaged or married, then...well...they really need to welcome in the 21st century.

I'm pregnant, only about as far as you, i'm quitting my job because i'm pregnant, and i've gotten nothing but postivite reaction from everyone and people wising me well.