My husbands family comes over ever day around supper time..now I don't mind inviting them to supper every now and then but they are really starting to over stay their welcome...our grocery bill has jumped an extra $100...what can I do without being rude.
2007-09-25 09:26:45 · 14 answers · asked by pennylanegal 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Do they PHONE before they arrive, or just DROP IN? Here's the way to teach them from now on:
When they show up: "Oh, I'm SO glad to see you, but we JUST finished eating and have plans for the rest of the night. If ONLY you had called beforehand! I'm SO sorry! Give me a call sometime." Then... SHUT THE DOOR!
You do not have to tell them WHAT your plans are... they don't need to know that your plans are being with each other together alone at home! And the "we just finished eating" makes it clear to them that you are not prepared to feed them, regardless that this might be the "ususal" time they show up before your dinner is served. They will think you "pushed up" your dinnertime and they missed it. Another line that can be used, "Oh, we made reservations and we'll be late if we don't leave right away!" Again, the reservations can be dinner for two at HOME, but THEY don't need to know that, either!
When they call... if you have caller ID... don't answer for the next few days. That will help break the cycle. If they "show up" again, offer the same line. When you DO "accept" their call, and make plans, make them for EARLIER in the day when a meal is not normally served. Then, you can "visit" with them for some time, and then politely chase them out, "It's been SO great having you over again! Let's do it again, sometime! Give me a call!" This is spoken as you rise and escort them out the door, handing them their coats and keys!
Have a polite day!
2007-09-25 14:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by wyomugs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't eat supper when they come over. You might do something like have a sandwich before the time they usually show up, or go out around the time they come to supper and take a picnic with you.
Or you could just ask them to bring a part of supper when they come over. Say something like, tomorrow how about if you bring a pot of soup, or a casserole or something to help with dinner. This may give them the hint, and they might just help with supper!
2007-09-25 09:37:58 · answer #2 · answered by toomeymimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to detach. It is not your job to talk to them about this. Have a discussion with your husband. A serious and long discussion calmly expressing your concerns. Its not about the money. It is the intrusion. Stop answering the door, let the phone take the messages and then when you speak in a few days say' Oh we have just been so so busy. We will INVITE you over in a few weeks.' Then gradually do it less and less. But do use the word INVITE.
2007-09-25 09:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not the one being rude for goodness sake, they are.
How does your husband feel about this and is he prepared to talk to them about not showing up during dinner time, comming over unexpectedly, call before comming - basic manners??
You might try answering the door, don't let them in, stand in their way and just say "Oh, its not a convenient time, we are having dinner, we will call you when we have a chance". Shut the door.
Then wait for all hell to break loose!
Edit: they're NOT guests, no one invited them.
2007-09-25 10:19:28 · answer #4 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, make sure he's on board with your plans to curb their visits.
Ideas:
1. When they show up unannounced tell them this is a bad time/you don't feel well and don't let them in.
2. Head out to dinner (if they act like they expect to come say you're meeting friends/coworker) and say "I didn't realize we had plans tonight"
3. Another time, have friends over for dinner and let his family know this is a chance to catch up with friends.
4. Go to a movie afterwork with your husband and let them show up to an empty house - if they mention it again something along the lines of "I didn't realize we had plans"
5. Make no effort to prepare dinner, if they ask tell them you don't have anything on hand and they are welcome to order delivery for everyone.
6. show up on their doorstep first a couple times, make them cook dinner for you.
7. cook stuff they hate
8. If you talk to them during the day ask them if they plan on coming over - if yes, tell them you haven't hit the grocery store and can they pick up food? Request something expensive!
You could simply tell them, but that can be awkward.
2007-09-25 09:51:02 · answer #5 · answered by dlil 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your fiancee should let them know that they have overstayed their welcome. After they have left, you and she need to sit down and establish some ground rules. She should have told you ahead of time that they were coming to visit. Also, agree on how long you both feel is an appropriate visit. If they live a good distance away, a longer visit is expected. If they only live a couple of hours away, then shorter visits should be fine. Get this straightened out now, or you are in for years of disagreement over it.
2016-05-18 03:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your husband's family on Sunday afternoon. Say, "I'm just looking to our schedule for the week ahead. What night do you want to schedule a dinner together." Hopefully they will get the hint that you want to limit it to one.
If they don't get the hint, and they show up around dinner time, wait until they have left to start serving dinner. This might mean you eat late one night, but once they realize you are waiting on them to leave to eat, they will quit assuming they are invited.
2007-09-25 09:34:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just talk to them and let them know that you don't mind them coming over, however they need to respect your quality time with your family. I would tell them that when it's dinner time in your house you don't want to have company every day and that you can't afford to feed them on a daily. I would keep it real, be honest, and straight to the point. That way there's no misunderstandings.
2007-09-25 09:34:32 · answer #8 · answered by honeyb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you usually eat at 5 and they show up at 5 , start eating at 4. or 6 as long as its not when they expect you to. once they realize the soup kitchen is closed they will give up and start goin to MickyDs
2007-09-25 09:59:23 · answer #9 · answered by ChynaRush 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let the cupboard run a bit bare. give them a shopping list, or offer to make some minimilist dish (oatmeal!), since that's all they've left you.
or, you can just keep cooking up the most boring, tasteless dishes you can... or things you know they don't like.
2007-09-25 09:32:54 · answer #10 · answered by kent_shakespear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋