On a wedding program "the bride & groom will not be sending out thank you notes. They will be donating what would have been spent on postage to a charity"
I notice that they did not ask the guests to donate instead of buy them gifts. I also notice that they didn't name the charity. I think their heart is in the right place but it seems like they are only doing this because they don't want to deal with the task. Am I just old fashioned?
2007-09-25 07:56:30 · 31 answers · asked by Cheyenne 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Not classy in any era.
Thank You notes should ALWAYS be sent.
It would have been more prudent for the bride and groom to offer the choice to guests by saying something to the effect of:
"If you would like to forego receiving a thank you note and have the amount that would have been spent on it used, instead, as part of a gift to (insert actual charity name here), please be sure to make a note of this in the card attached to the gift."
Part of the tackiness of what that bride and groom did is that for all the guests know, the "charity" could have been themselves.
2007-09-25 08:04:47 · answer #1 · answered by FourArrows 4 · 6⤊ 2⤋
I would have to agree that this is a bit tacky. I agree with your assessment that they may believe they are doing something nice, however they are overlooking the fact that GRATITUDE is priceless.
Suggesting that donations can be made to the charity in lieu of a wedding gift would make more sense if they were attempting to be generous. But, this move appears to be moreso to avoid an important task - writing out thank you notes. Heck, these days you can have a printer provide you with preprinted thank you notes and you can print out address labels on the computer. Even if they had to send out 500 thank you's at 41 cents each it's only $205!
Oh well!
2007-09-25 15:36:10 · answer #2 · answered by amazing_creation 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm going to agree with you. What's a stamp go for, 41 cents? Let's go overboard and say they would have sent out 250 Thank yous, that's $102.50. Then add the cost of the thank you cards, and at most you're looking at a 150 donation to an unnamed charity. That's a drop in the bucket compared to what the wedding cost, and what many of their guests spent to be there. I think it's especially tacky since they didn't ask guests to donate to a charity instead of giving a gift.
Thank yous are not optional, IMO. They aren't about the expense (which honestly isn't all that much.) they are about taking the time to express gratitude that a person came to your wedding. That's ridiculous, take the 5 minutes per thank you and write the damn card!
2007-09-25 15:10:54 · answer #3 · answered by tnk3181979 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If they really wanted to make a donation to a charity, they could have asked for that instead of gifts...I think it's rude to not thank the people that gave you gifts and shared in your wedding day.
2007-09-25 20:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My response to this is very simple. I would make a phone call or send a note to the couple stating "In the spirit of the program, I am requesting my gift be returned so I may get a refund of my purchase price and donate the amount to a charity of my choice". Your bride and groom are out of line and rude in the extreme and I would be 99.9% sure they just want to get out of sending thank you cards and thought this would sound good. Well, it doesn't. If their hearts were really in the right place they would have requested all the guests donate to a named charity instead of sending gifts.
2007-09-25 15:06:13 · answer #5 · answered by naniannie 5 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Yes, it is lazy, but it is a nice idea to do.
BUT, they should have said "in lieu of gifts, please donate to X Charity" as well as the money spent on postage being given to charity.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind thank you notes, I intend on writing thank you notes if I get gifts, but I feel that thank you notes are overrated. It is going through the postal service longer than a thank you note is remembered and read! You can open, read, and throw it in the trash in the same movement.
2007-09-27 14:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think it is lazy and rude to boot. I don't care if they are donating to some charity, which they probably are not just saying they are, you should still send out thank yous. It cost next to nothing to hand write a note, doesn't have to be on fancy paper, and like a 50 cent stamp to send it. They are only saving themsleves like $50 so that is lazy. Plus it is extremely tacky to say that you are not sending out thank yous on the program, for god's sake some people have no class!
2007-09-26 07:38:31 · answer #7 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's really rude to not acknowledge the generosity of guests. If the couple wanted to save the money and send the donation, they could always hand deliver cards or send out an email with a note explaining why the thank you was sent electronically.
2007-09-26 03:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by jc 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are absolutely right.
I like the idea that they would like to donate to charity, but, really, how much is that gonna be? Not much of a charitable donation, but a small price to pay for etiquette. Except for the tragic death of the newlyweds right after the wedding, there is no excuse for not sending thank you notes.
2007-09-25 21:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by ds37x 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. A thank you note is a must. And they dont cost that much to put together, surely. To me it seems like they cant be bothered sending them out. I would be a pain in the butt and keep ringing them and asking what charity they are donating it to.
2007-09-25 17:49:56 · answer #10 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋