my 4 year old has started to call me and my husband by our first names. I do feel a bit taken a back about it since it is not common practice for children to refer to their parents like that but don't mind it as well.
Do you think there will be negative consequences in the future if I let her call me Jennifer instead of Mom?
2007-09-25 06:42:17 · 34 answers · asked by Jennifer S 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
she is probably just learning that you actually have names from hearing everyone call you by them and is facinated by this new information she learned. i wouldn't worry too much, it will probably get old and she will go back to calling you mom. this is also why kids also call other parents mom or dad, because thats what they hear the other kids call them, not because they are actually mistaking someone else to be their mom or dad! its not like she is trying to be impersonal on purpose, she is only 4 for god's sake! she doesn't know any different...
2007-09-25 06:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by blondie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I call my mother Jane.
It started so far back that I can't remember why or how. It caused confusion along the way - people assuming she was my stepmother, mostly. A funny look, now and again. But no trauma. The *older* I got, the more likely I was to call her Mom. It feels like both an affectionate nickname and a term of respect that she's well earned.
My (3 y.o.) son knows my first name and uses it sometimes. I don't correct him, and I suspect he thinks he's teasing me when he does it. If he dropped Mommy completely, I wouldn't be fussed. I see using your parents' given names as a sign of closeness, not of respect or a lack thereof.
After all, there's never been a second of doubt that I'm his mother - and I'm sure your son is quite clear on this, too!
I'd never given any of this much thought, incidentally, until I married a man with very conservative parents who are adamant that I call them Mom and Dad. The titles feel heavy and false on my tongue. I am ever more glad that Jane rolled with it, and trusted that we loved and respected her, title or no.
2007-09-25 06:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My cousin who is my age 26 called his parents by their first names for as long as I can remember, I tried to do it with my mom thinking it was cool and all I got was a slap in the face. I am not sure if this is a direct relation to the name thing but he and his parents are not close at all and they are good people. Put a stop to it now! All kids go through it my daughter did but I ignored her until she said mommy and started calling her kid (which she did not like at all) and now I am either mom, when she is in a rush, mommy when she wants something or mother when she is mad. She is 6.
2007-09-25 07:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids this age just want to be in control. Other adults don't call you mommy, and your child wants to be like a grown-up. Don't make a big deal of it and let her call you whatever she wants (as long as its not a foul word) and most likely she will grow out of it. There aren't any negative consequences for her socially or anything, and really, if you think about it calling out Jennifer in a crowded mall will get your attention better than Mommy if she's lost or something. Let her have as much control as you can so she won't fight you so much on other issues. And really, you can't force a child to call you anything, you aren't in control of her voicebox and it's probably not worth the fight.
2007-09-25 06:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by Tresa R 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there would be anything negative. Do you ever call your husband "daddy" or does he call you "mommy
around the kids? If all they hear is your first name it is quite possible that they do not understand what mommy or daddy means. Try calling your spouse daddy for awhile and see what your children do. If you honestly have no issue with her calling you by your first name I would not change it personally. Every family is different and has their own ways so if it works for you...go for it!! :)
2007-09-25 07:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by omorris1978 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe there will be negative consequences if the child refers to you by your real names. (As you stated, it is a phase). However, I think you should just continue to tell the child "I am very glad that you have learned mommy and daddy's real names, but you need to call us mommy and daddy." I think it is very important that kids know their parents have real names, God forbid they ever get separated! When someone asks "what's your mommy's name" They are just gonna say "mommy". However, I think that most kids, if explained to, will revert back to mommy and daddy. It may take a little bit of time, but it will happen! Best of luck!
2007-09-25 06:48:58 · answer #6 · answered by Amy B 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there will be any negative consequences on her, but it may bother you in the future that she doesn't refer to you as Mommy. Also, calling our parents by Mom and Dad is also a title of respect. It clarifies who is the adult, and who is the parent. I think it would be a completely personal call.
2007-09-25 06:46:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
She is learning the name difference. My children did the same.... But reverted back to mommy..... Its good that she knows your name !!!! Some kids have no clue. She just doesnt understand why others can call you by a different name and he has to be stuck with mommy..... dont make a big fuss over it , just tell her its mommy to you sweetie, if that makes you feel better.... ITS A PHASE...... might help if you call your hubby daddy and him call u mommy in front of the child.
For the one that said would you let him call his aunt or uncle by their first name..... why not...... In my family since its So large.... My kids call the grandparents ...... for instamce grandpa dean..... Grandma Deanna, Aunt Susan, Uncle Steve........ I dont see that as disrespect...... The child is just making it clear who they are speaking too.......
( when my son was born he had a total of 13 grand parents, great grandparents, great great grand parents...... He has to use names to sort them out....)
2007-09-25 06:46:39 · answer #8 · answered by tammer 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
My daugher is 5 & she does this every once & a while as well b/c she thinks that it is a funny joke. We let her call us that b/c we have sat down with her & said when we are being Silly it is O.K. but at other times we are to be called mom & dad. She understands this very well.
The up side to it is also that we have told our daughter that if she ever gets lost that she can go & tell a police officer or a grown up & they can find us a lot eaiser then saying I lost my mom & dad.
Good Luck to you, I am sure that this will pass with time!
2007-09-25 06:52:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I refer to my parents by their first names occasionally. I am super close to them. It started when I was younger. You can tell your little one "Yes my name is Jennifer but Im also mom". You dont have to encourage or discourage it. As long as he's not being rebellious 2 you about it, then its not about defiance. I think if it bugs you change it. If not dont worry. Your little guy is just figuring you there is more 2 you then just being mom...your Jennifer 2!
2007-09-25 06:57:52 · answer #10 · answered by lovelylady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋