Moms do you say,wait til your Daddy hears about this there will be big trouble?

Question

As a kid when we were bad our mom would punish us&after she would say-just wait until your daddy gets home there will be trouble!That always meant there was further punishment on the way and it made us behave better for the rest of the day.Now I hear moms saying it all the time-I'm gonna tell daddy about what you did later etc.I used to think this meant that the Dads are the bad guys but now as a stay at home Dad I find myself saying just wiat til I tell mommy how you have behaved.
Why do we do this,is this us clutching at straws in the hope that the parent coming home from work will know how to punish them more effectively?I am quite strict with my kids I have to be or they would appeal to my softer nature and run rings around me but I still rely on my wife's input when she gets home.If the kids misbehaves I handle it there&then but talk to my wife about it later.For more serious behaviour we will think of a punishment together-is this any better than telling tales?

Answer 1

I never do that with my kids. If I catch them misbehaving I always dealt with it myself. I don't think it is such a good idea to threaten them for future punishment. I always thought it was best to deal with it right then and there, then go on. I personally think by telling your kids this only teaches them that you cannot effectively solve the problem. By handling it yourself you teach your children that you are the one in charge. But then again that is just my opinion.

Answer 2

My parents always said that to me, and my grandmother as well, when I heard this as a child, I knew that there was more punishment coming for example, I would get a spanking from my mom and then again from my dad later. So it put the fear of God in me, but I don't do this to my son he's only seventeen months old, later on I probably won't either because like you I am strict, the most I talk to my husband about our sons behavior is when I say "oh my he's been hard on me today" I don't go into specifics because after a long hard day at work, my husband doesn't need to hear my petty little problem especially when the problem was dealt with hours before, although if it's a funny story such as my son grabbing the bottle of baby powder and getting it everywhere I may share that story.

Answer 3

As a Mom I use wait until your Dad gets home so they can sit and think about it instead of just punishing them here and now, they will think ok if mom got mad about this how is Dad going to react. As a form of punishment I make my kids tell my husband what they did wrong this bothers my son more then the actual punishment.He does not like his dad upset with him and again I am the one that is more harsh.
Also I think your right about how the other parent would react to the childs behavior is also on our minds my husband and I do sit down and discuss more serious actions together.
I do correct them as soon as they do something wrong then use the wait until dad gets home.

Answer 4

Coming from a single parent home, my mom never said this, but I also hear it all the time. It really bugs me too, because then I feel you are teaching your child that they don't have to listen to you/respect you because you can't/won't discipline them. My sister-in-law always tells my nieces that she is going to uncle (my husband) when they misbehave or get bad marks in school. They don't listen to her because they know she'll just call uncle. But, uncle can't do anything right then and there so it defeats the purpose. I think the way you handle your situation is best. Punish them on the spot, for more serious offenses, do it together.

Answer 5

Mothers who say that are deferring punishment, which makes Daddy the bad guy and puts the responsibility of discipline on his shoulders. More than likely the kids will have forgotten what they are being punished for by the time Daddy gets home (depends on how old they are) and won't understand. Kids need to be disciplined on the spot so they will learn from their mistakes.

Answer 6

Sometimes. I try not to because I don't want Ava to start thinking that I am a pushover and that her daddy is "the bad guy".

But being a stay-at-home mom, I am the one doing most of the discipline, and now that Ava is going through the "terrible twos" and I am pregnant, sometimes things are a lot harder.

So sometimes, when Ava acts up, and I don't know what else to do, I DO find myself saying "Wait till Daddy gets home", because though a spanking from me is bad, to Ava, being spanked by Daddy is even worse, so that usually stops the misbehavior.

I try my best not to use that line too often though.

Answer 7

Personally, I think when you tell a child that, it makes it seem like what that parent thinks/says is more important than what you are saying. Children have to know that both parents are on the same page and that what you say and think matters just as much as the what the other parent thinks and says, otherwise they will use it against you.

Answer 8

hi, unhappy to hearken to that your mom treating you undesirable. If I the place you a might consult from her approximately it, per hazard she isn't conscious that the flaws she say and do to you harm your thoughts, so tell right here the way you sense approximately it and that her behaviour in direction of you extremely hurts. If she nonetheless treats you undesirable then per hazard you may consult from somebody on your loved ones which you have confidence, and per hazard that guy or woman can communicate on your mom for you. i do no longer be responsive to how old you're, yet once you're someone guy or woman i might advised my mom that i'll pondering shifting out if she do no longer placed her act mutually. God success consisting of your mom desire each and every thing works out wonderful for you.

Answer 9

I think youre on to something. Its more about parents being consistent. So its important to share details on the misbehavior, so both parents are on the same page.

Answer 10

my parents never said that. whoever was home at the time was the disciplinarian. but when the other parents got home, depending on what we did, yeah we did get punished again./