Dating Dilemma: What's an American-born Nigerian woman to do?

Question

I attend a university where the majority population is Asian and White in Northern California. I'm attracted to both groups as well as others. However, after 4+ years of living here, I've found it rather difficult to date almost anyone here near the Sacramento area. I'm very open-minded. Sometimes I approach a guy I'm interested in and vice-versa. I don't expect the guy to pay on the first date, not because I don't think he's capable, but I know that money doesn't grow on trees. I try to be fair about those things. We all have bills to pay. I'm a very social person, I go out to concerts, to dance clubs, and as a student, I socialize with my classmates and still don't have much luck. In fact it's even worse when the environment is school-related; students here seem very reserved in their dating preferences, which usually exclude women like me. However, I encounter more opportunities in the Bay Area than I do near Sacramento. As an American-born Nigerian woman, what would y'all suggest?

Answer 1

Come here to south-east oklahoma and met me! Nah thats a bit immature, but I thought it was funny for a sec, now to the issues at hand. See you have to realize that you've been in this country long enough to understand that the dating sence, well, doesn't work, it doesn't! You have to realize the whole ideals behind dating puts us in a romantic relationship and unfornutly romance before love is foolish, you have to have the love frist and then its romantic. But because of this we lie, all the time, we bs, we disceve, we fool, and we fool ourselves. Because the only way to TRULY make a geniune deep relationship in this country is to be friends, let the relationship develop and find a purpose together were loving, growing, and trying to understand each other is the purpose, see isn't that romantic? But the point remains, the dating scence is a throw back to a bigone area of country folks movin to the big city tryin to met people, well were not all country folks anymore and we demand more, were just not getting it. So relax, be patient, and realize that finding a man thru dating well end up not working (unless that one in a million chance that you guys can be friends at one meeting, good luck there, espacilly with the insecurities and sex purpose we have in our culture) and a relationship as friends that slowly grows in purpose can..... so look at it right you'll do fine, people warm up, and so well you! If not hey I'll be more then happy to take you out on a date and explain even more why it wouldn't work ;-) if you ever in south-east oklahoma I mean.... shoot maybe then well be friends and anything well be possible!