How do you feel about the American way of death?

Question

Grandpa draws his final breath and is carted off to a mortuary where he is drained of his blood and filled with some sort of pickle fluid. He is spiffed up, painted up and laid out in an expensive box that will soon be buried forever. Friends and family gather to spend an evening with the corpse and sniff at the appropriate times.

Is this what you would like for your self? Or do you have some ideas of your own that stray from the norm? I sure do.

Answer 1

I want to be cremated, and my ashes mixed with potting soil. Then plant some pot, and grow pot in the pot. Thus, my friends can smoke me!!!

And for my memorial service, they can use some grown elsewhere, along with whatever other intoxicants they want. The best way to honor me would be a huge orgy!

However, I am content if they wait until marijuana is legal. I am NOT content that it isn't already legal, but that's a separate issue.

Answer 2

Death is the one and only thing of which we can be absolutely certain, and yet it is the thing that western society has gone to the greatest lengths to hide, deny or avoid confronting. Think about it, if you pass an accident on the highway and there has been a fatality, what is the first thing they do? Cover the body. Second thing? Shove it in an ambulance and whisk it away, out of sight. Next? Embalm it and cover it with clothing and make-up so the person looks like maybe he's still alive. And when a person is dieing, little effort is made to help that person die well, yet extreme heroic efforts are made to keep them alive no matter what.

Our society worships at the alter of the young and beautiful and yet as a society we are collectively older than ever before. It is time that death be allowed the dignity we have denied it. We can start by allowing as how death is OK, and not something to hide and pretend we can avoid.

Answer 3

Cremation is what I want and I do not want to be buried as it is just a waste of more beautiful space. I don't mind what my family does with my ashes but I feel it's the more responsible option. My husband is considering donating his body to science. It makes me feel a little queasy but I think it's a helpful think to do. I might do the same. I'd rather be seen for a few hours right after I die but no mortuaries, funeral homes etc. If they'd like to do a memorial service then that's their decision. Funerals are for the living.

Answer 4

Hey, I can't believe it, but I agree with you. When my husband died last year, he was buried in a casket I purchased from the manufacturer and put him in his own clothing, a short sleeve sport shirt and slacks. There was a service, but it was a celebration for his life and his accomplishments in life. The state requires some things like the funeral home, etc. but even though we cut corners, it still cost about $4500. He did not want me to spend any more than I had to spend. He had already purchased cemetery plots for us, so I did not have him cremated. To me, it is stupid to plant money into the ground for nothing except the stupid pride of the living.

EDIT: Addition: Have you seen the articles about sealed caskets? They talk about the body becoming a mulligan stew because they are sealed and the gases cannot escape. The body rots and cannot dehydrate so it will not get dry and go back to dirt like it should. It is very sickening. GAGGGG

Answer 5

Check out this book "the American way of death"
by: Mitford, Jessica, the first one was written in 1963. It exposes the funeral industry. Talks about embalming (is it required, how it's done). You might want to skip the chapter about embalming.

It was made into a movie but the film was mostly a comedy. I did like the part where they are selling a casket to someone, first there's the regular casket..then a moisture proof one...next a waterproof casket...(which of course is quite expensive). It's all about how much money they can get you spend.

Answer 6

As far as I'm concerned my family can do the funeral and things like that however they want. Funerals are really meant to comfort the survivors and try and help give them a sense of closure.

The corpse is unlikely to really care about anything that is going on at that point.

I have heard of one new and interesting way of disposing of human remains lately. After you get cremated, a company will take all the ashes and place them in a high pressure, high temperature chamber that will convert the ashes into a crystalline form, (its a machine that is normally used to create artificial diamonds).

You can actually have the gem mounted on a piece of jewelry and "wear" your loved one.

Here is a link to one company that does this
http://www.lifegem.com/index.aspx?bannertype=yahootext&bannermessage=cremation

They have some pictures of the gems on their website. I'm kind of surprised that the gems come out looking that nice.

Answer 7

It's a waste of money. The viewing is morbid, and I really don't want to be mummified and buried. Why use up Earth's limited space on a corpse?

I want my organs donated. The rest can be cremated. A memorial service is enough for me. I'd rather have people remember me as I was, rather than have a corpse be the last memory they have of me.

I'll leave it up to my survivors to find a nice vase to put the ashes in. ;-)

Answer 8

Greetings Friend,

I have often thought about the same question. I can understand how people would want to respect their loved ones bodies. Let's face it, we have been conditioned in our society to behave as you described, so many would think it disrespectful to do any other thing.

However, I personally do not want my body to take up any more space, especially seeing as to how our world's population is continuously growing. I prefer my body to be cremated and the ashes thrown out. Yes, I do think it is silly in a way to go through the whole process you described. But, some people need that to help them through their grieving, so I would not deny them of this tradition.

However, it will take people like yourself to help us to overcome our 'silly' traditions. You are correct. We are not these bodies, so we do not need to pay so much attention to these bodies. We spend thousands and thousands of dollars to have a funeral and we take up precious earth so a body will have a place to rest, so those that knew us (let's face it after those that knew us leave their bodies who will care anyway) can feel better knowing our bodies are in the grave.

It won't change over night but even one person changing this tradition is a start. Good luck. You have my vote.

sending love,

Answer 9

When I die, I'd rather just be cremated immediately, with no embalming or anything like that. And a coffin? Who needs a coffin?

But truthfully, I don't care what's done with my body after I die...I won't be in it, why should it matter?

I would hope that instead of a huge production of a funeral, those that loved me get together just to laugh, and share little anecdotes about my life, drink wine or beer, and listen to music. Preferably Pink Floyd or Nightwish. If someone plays Amazing Grace at my funeral, I think I'll come back and haunt them. That is NOT a funeral song!

I hope people laugh at my funeral...not at my being dead, but at my life.

Answer 10

It is as expensive as possible. That is the American way.


I plan to be put in a plain pine box and cremated as cheaply as possible. (I'm handy, I might even make the box myself. LOL)

Everyone should have a party, play my old home movies and talk about how (hopefully) great a guy I was.

I want to have my ashes scattered over my favorite site. Not particularly rational, but hey, so what.