Last week my boyfriend confronted me and told me that he is Bi. That was really great for him to openly tell me that. Well but he has a turn on that is kinda different. Well he like it when he watches guys have sex with me. I know I know it's weird at least for me it is. So when he said that we should try it I was willing to try once just to show that I support him and love him. Well I started having sex with this guy and I feel like I'm getting feelings for him. Well my bf and I were talking yesterday and I said I didn't want to do this stuff anymore becasue I developing feelings and he kind of brushed it off. He was all like oh you like it I know you still want to do it. I told him the only guy that I want to have sex with is him because I think sex is special and that it should only be done with someone you love. I 've been having thoughts of ending this 2 1/2 year relationship but I don't have the heart to do it. Any suggestions?
2007-09-25 03:05:38 · 21 answers · asked by shy girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A little story...I'm a guy and dated a girl for about a year, and she told me about halfway through(6 months into the relationship) that she was Bi. Things are NEVER easy after that. Not only do you have to worry about your g/f / b/f hanging out with the opposite sex but the same sex as well. Being cheated on by the other is incredibly risky when they are Bi. Thats one thing to think about. Plus, why did they turn Bi? A major event in their life perhaps? Maybe they're just attracted to the same sex?
Another thing is...is drama. Im not quite sure what age group your in but it sounds like your boyfriend is a drama queen and seeks attention, so...maybe thats the reason why he decided to become Bi. As for the future, If you can't handle it now, and you don't want to get used to the situation of your b/f trying and possibly forcing you(this could happen) into having sex with other guys/threesoms, you should end it now and find yourself a man who doesn't have issues.
A two and a half year relationship is a long time, however, if you dont end it now, you wont have a chance to be available when the time comes to move on. Like I said, if you cant handle the situation now, you dont want to get used to it, there is no point in forcing yourself into something you dont want. What about you? What about your feelings? Does he even care about what you think about the situation? Ask him these questions and if you recieve selfish responses and acts in return, you know you can do better and just move on with your life. There is always that "what if" statement...what if haunts a person forever...what if you stay with him, what if you leave him? Make the right choice for yourself, but look further down the road and ask yourself this..."What if?" I won't tell you what you need to do, but I've been through what you are going through right now...and I did what I thought was the right and moved on...and now Im promised to a wonderful person, and now that "What if" question no longer haunts me because I found the one for me. Do whats in your heart, like I did.
2007-09-25 03:26:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really great that you have open communication which will help save this relationship if thats what you want to do. If you are only wanting to end the relationship because of the "swinging" then you may want to reconsider. What I have come to notice in the past few years is that many men are very discrete in what they feel sexually. Men tend to have fantasies about being with other men, but they arent open about it at all. Not so much oral fixation but definatly anal. If you end the relationship and find another man, it is very possible he might have the same intentions and you may realize that you made a mistake...and you dont need that. I know that you feel uncomfortable in having encounters with other men, so if you dont like it, dont do it. If he doesnt undertand then let him know that you just arent that type of person and if you mean anything to him at all, he will understand and will not put you thru anymore of that. Otherwise, let him make the decision to leave. At least you wont question yourself if you run into this problem again. Goodluck and Take care! <3 Tab
2007-09-25 03:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by jzbebegyrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHOA!
I have to chime into this one.....
Obviously if Sex is something special to you and you should only do it with someone who you love then you would have stood by that from the beginning. You are having sex with this guy so the one who you love and wish you could be having sex with can watch you? Alright. Well If you really did just make a mistake and you want out now then exactly NOW is the time.
I would call your "boyfriend" and say look I think its best that we try and move on from eachother. We are totally into different things. I love you but unfortunatley this isnt what I pictured happening.
2007-09-25 03:13:30 · answer #3 · answered by Amy Leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Wow this is really tuff but you might of crossed the line to far. First you b.f is bi , you know what that means he likes guys to have S.. with not only you. What you did fo rhim is not weird you mad elove to another guy abut we watched knowing some other guy ws having sex with you. That is weird becasue it was like he was trying to make him being bi ok with you buy using the other guy to have sex with you . Im not sure what i said makes sense but i hope it does. And plsu of course you ar having feeling for this other guy , it appears to me that you regauard sexual rrealations with a guy special. This other guy might be his bi lover so think of what i am saying. Try your best to end this no no no win for you relationship as soon as possiable. hey you already knew this answer look at what you write at the end of your question. (I HABE BEEN HAVING THOUGHTS OF ENDING THIS 2 1/2 YEAR RELATIONSHIP.
2007-09-25 06:55:40 · answer #4 · answered by ho8er2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let your bf talk you into something you don'r want to do. You are uncomfortable having sex with other guys but he enjoys with regarding your feelings.
You should not be with guy, even if you have 2 yrs together, just be thankful u are not married. Move on and find yourself a bf you can trust, who is straight and who jealusly wants to be the only guy to have sex with you.
2007-09-25 03:30:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your head and not your heart. Your boyfried is a very immature individual and more than likely a sex addict to boot.
All he cares about is fufilling his sick fantasies. He doesn't give a damn about you or how you feel and that was quite obvious in his reaction regarding how you felt. Dump this loser. This guy is total trash and you are damaging yourself by hanging on to such a scummy guy. I hope you do the right thing for yourself and start hanging out with decent people that actually care about someone's feelings.
2007-09-25 03:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Rogue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as "Bi" for a guy.. he is just flat out gay. Sorry. And the lifestyle the two of you are leading is very disturbing. Do you really think a guy who truly loves you would want to see you get railed by his friend???!!! Come on, grow a brain and some respect lady!
2007-09-25 03:11:29 · answer #7 · answered by Chelley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End that crazyness. If your boyfriend enjoys you having sex with other guys, how much could he really care for you anyway. And then, if he is putting his feelings and turn-ons ahead of your feelings, then what kind of caring guy is he? You shouldn't worry about hurting his feelings, because it's obvious that he doesn't care about yours. If you really care about him, give him another chance. Tell him exactly how you feel on this and if he doesn't listen or he brushes you off. Then leave him. He should care about you enough to take your feelings into consideration.
2007-09-25 03:10:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hunny.
i know thats hard.
but i completely agree with you,
and i kno you say you dont have the heart to but its time to put everyone else aside and think..whats best for you.
sex is something you should have with someone special.
so simply explian you cant do this anymore that he is the only man you want to be with.. tell him about the feelings.. be completely honest.
itll help you in the long run even though it wont seem that way at first.
gooood luck hunny@
2007-09-25 03:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by ..CassyyBugg*[♥] --lovesjosh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When ever a couple gets involved with bringing someone else into their sex life, it very rarely, if ever, works out....I've seen more relationships crash and burn for the very same reason you are describing here. End the relationship...and learn from your mistakes...never do something just because your man asks you to, especially if it something in your gut says, "no". I wish you well...
2007-09-25 03:10:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋