I cut off all contact to my parents because I couldn't deal with the abuse (verbal, emotional and physical) anymore. I was so depressed with them in my life. I moved out to be with my boyfriend, now we're married. I also had problems with my brother that does drugs and has mental problems. He was sexually harassing me and according to my family I was supposed to ignore that or I was doing something to cause it.
The reason why I'm thinking about cutting off all contact with them is because I don't trust them and they understand me. They never supported me. My aunt has promised me many things (send my clothes and some belongings) and has never kept her promises. Therefore, I don't trust her. Whenever I get a message from her it causes my husband and I to argue. He knows everything that happened to me and knows they only hurt me.
2007-09-25 03:00:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
But sometimes I want to know whats going on with my other siblings and I know, if would tell them anything what our brother tried to do with me. They would say I'm lying and tell me that I trying to screw up his life.
2007-09-25 03:02:06 · update #1
From what you`ve posted , you`d have to be crazy NOT to cut off all ties with them . It`s obvious they don`t care about you and don`t give a damn whether you live or die !
When the situation is so bad that YOU get the blame for your brother sexually harassing you , it`s definitely time to close the door on that part of your life , and move on ............. without looking back .
Maintaining contact with ANY of your family members will , in time , destroy your marriage ! COUNT ON IT ! It won`t take long !
How long do you think your husband will be able to maintain his sanity around people like that ? It`s hard enough working to feed his family , pay the rent and pay the bills , without having this kind of conflict added to his life .
Your husband married YOU ............... not your whole family ! Your family may try to reconcilliate with you down the road , but you can bet that if they do , it`s only because it`ll be of some kind of benefit to them .
DON`T fall for that , otherwise it`ll just start all over again , and your husband could very well walk out of your life altogether .
The longer you wait to "cut the chord" the more difficult it`ll be . Move away ......... get a restraining order against your family if you have to , don`t contact them again , for any reason , and start a new life without them .
If you don`t , they`ll end up eating you and your husband alive !!
2007-09-25 03:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear about your misfortune. It is probably best to hide out. Meaning....eventually when they get older or they start to realize the problems for themselves, then you can explain what was wrong about the situation to them. Until then...you are at a point where you shouldnt be held responsible and the only way to get your point across is to just let it go and be with your husband. He will take care of you. He is your new family and dont be ashamed about your past. It happens to alot of people and thankfully you realized it early. You will realize that family isnt what it is cracked up to be either. Several people lose contact with their families just because life is in general, "chaotic" And it isnt your fault for wanting to resolve an issue that you werent comfortable with. Trust in your husband...don't argue with him. I know how hard it is to let go of family because you were brought up to believe in family values..but at this day and age, if the values were there, they would have supported you and helped you thru your hard times rather than kick you while you're down. Its okay to let go....Goodluck and take care! <3 Tab
2007-09-25 03:08:57 · answer #2 · answered by jzbebegyrl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep the lines of communication open for you and your siblings. The past is the past, steer clear if you can of that brother but move on with the others. If you have nothing but stress with the other members of your family I would cut the ties, they are only out to hurt you. But if you can keep in touch with your siblings. be careful though.
2007-09-25 03:08:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write to your siblings. If you cannot send the mail directly to their house, have a friend deliver it for you. As for the rest of the family - it does not sound like you have anything in common with, or love of. Don't let them continue to hurt you or cause problems in your marriage. Good luck.
2007-09-25 03:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by NAN G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
it is a calamity, sorry for that.
family is the source that we can't abandon. You have pointed many issues about the family which make you scale weigh more in that side. I prefer that you do not cut off, better you stay away. One day, they'll call to say sorry, we hadn't run the show properly, we need you back to guide us humbly.
wish you good luck and hope you have a good marriage.
2007-09-25 03:25:33 · answer #5 · answered by My-E 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cut off all ties. I have a family very similar as yours. You have started your new life, with the family that you have chosen. If this dilemma is causing trouble between you and your husband, it's definitely not worth it.
2007-09-25 05:24:51 · answer #6 · answered by tictak kat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time will heal the hurts you have experienced in your life. It would be better for you to leave them alone and forget the past that has haunted you. Someday, there might be a chance of reconciliation. Just try to forgive and forget.
2007-09-25 03:10:18 · answer #7 · answered by Reycen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Self preservation isn't a sin. You can only kick the dog so many times before he bites.....you are well within your rights to sever your ties with those people. You cannot choose your family,but you can choose who you want to spend time with. Write them off
2007-09-25 03:36:31 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just iqnore them,You have a husband that loves you it sounds like and cares so forget the ones who lied and hurt you.
2007-09-25 03:06:03 · answer #9 · answered by Gemini 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds like you are better off without them.
2007-09-25 03:04:34 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋